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hurtful comments

funky24

New Member
Dont know if iv posted in the right place (so apologies if i havent) :/

Last night went to see my mum and dad for a bit with my partner and mum said lis if you got some old clothes take em to cash for clothes they give you little bit of money and helps kids...etc and i said i have a coat, my dad pipes up 'they'll think its a duvet, fit 3 or 4 in it.....silly little comment, and was probably joking but it felt like someone stabbed my heart with a knife! Mine and my dads relationship has always been quite weird.

Well just wondered, have you ever had a nasty spiteful comment from some one your very close to? how did you feel? etc

i know i overthink things to much and im a big worrier but id never say anything like that to my child....maybe i just cant take a joke?! lol

Oh well this time next year...will all be different! because no matter what i will succeed this journey

Lisa xx
 

janeyf

Member
Isn't it strange how something said off the cuff cuts you to the quick when you're not in the right frame of mind. Just put it to the back of you mind now and look to the future.x
 

Paula Garner

Well-Known Member
One on my patients asked me once if I was actually able to get up a flight of stairs, when I was supporting him to learn to walk up them.

I've also had patients call me a hypocrite when I'm giving them health advice.
 

Fuffs

Shrinking Big Brummie
I have hurtful comments about my weight from family members. Mainly from my nan. And it does hurt like a biatch :( she means to be nasty. That's the hard bit to comprehend :(
 
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funky24

New Member
my nan brought me a box of food last yr for xmas - weight watchers beans/soups etc :/ x
 

Big an Bouncy

New Member
You can lose weight they will always have a thoughtless streak!
 

Fuffs

Shrinking Big Brummie
funky24 said:
my nan brought me a box of food last yr for xmas - weight watchers beans/soups etc :/ x

Very subtle!

My nan is the type who will be nasty about my weight, but try and force me to eat cream cakes from her fridge. Then get annoyed if I refuse!

Maz, you are right chick xxx
 

Mrs Quiggle

New Member
Ever thought these people might be an insy tinsy bit jealous. No one is anything in my family unless they are nanno size. Shame really. I seem to be becoming a better person to them the slimmer I get. Shame really cause I'm the same person inside that I was when I was a size 26. Shallow isn't it. xxx
 

Jcoco

New Member
My sister suggested I freeze my eggs. She's two years younger than me married with two kids and I'm single. By the way I'm only 32. My mum had me had 33 and continued to have 4 kids after right into her 40s.
 

shelbell

Proudly maintaining
From age 10-16 my (absent) father bought me clothes from M&S every Christmas atleast 2 sizes too small. Every year I had the walk of shame back to M&S to change them for bigger sizes. But then he was a bit of a b***ard.

Sent from my iPhone using Forum Runner
 

wendy1963

Member
I had my kids one when I was 30 and one when I was 40. So I had problem having them I always worried that I was going to be an older mum but I ended up being the youngest out of my three sisters to have have a baby.
 

funky24

New Member
everyone always said id be the one to have kids first before my older sister, i dont have any she has 2, the only thing that has held me back on that is my weight. but in a sense il be glad i waited, until the time is right and im fully happy in myself x
 

wendy1963

Member
I think your right and that attitude you will be a great mum. I heard yesterday a friend of a friend had a gastric bypass as she was finding it difficult to conceive within 4 months of having the bypass she was pregnant so I think losing the weight will make a big difference. oing back to hurtful comments I think you just need to rise above them you know you are looking to do the right thing also there is no point in doing these things until you are completely ready . Next year everyone will be envious of you specially when your pregnant and you dont put on that much weight there is always a bright side to everything all the best Wendy.
 

lamornamiss

wants to be a loser
I have just recovered this from my post from August 2010 4 months after my bypass


I knew my Dad didn't agree with me having weight loss surgery, and now I know he will never change his mind and cheer me on.

I went to a carboot last week and bought a lovely Laura Ashley dress in a size 16 (for £2 it was brand new as well) with the aim of fitting in it one day. My Dad said "I don't know why you bought that you will never fit into it".

Thanks Dad!

A couple of days ago I bought a NEXT skirt in a size 18 (I'm a size 20 down from a size 26) thinking it may fit in a few weeks. Tried it on when it arrived to find it fits .
When I told my Mom, Dad over heard and said...... "Ha it will all go back on soon!"
I give up!!

I don't really take any notice of him it just annoys me that he can't even say "well done" for once.


That Laura Ashley dress never did get worn and is now too big.

I decided New Year 2010 that I didn't need that negativity in my life and haven't spoken to my Dad since :(
 

funky24

New Member
I have just recovered this from my post from August 2010 4 months after my bypass


I knew my Dad didn't agree with me having weight loss surgery, and now I know he will never change his mind and cheer me on.

I went to a carboot last week and bought a lovely Laura Ashley dress in a size 16 (for £2 it was brand new as well) with the aim of fitting in it one day. My Dad said "I don't know why you bought that you will never fit into it".

Thanks Dad!

A couple of days ago I bought a NEXT skirt in a size 18 (I'm a size 20 down from a size 26) thinking it may fit in a few weeks. Tried it on when it arrived to find it fits .
When I told my Mom, Dad over heard and said...... "Ha it will all go back on soon!"
I give up!!

I don't really take any notice of him it just annoys me that he can't even say "well done" for once.


That Laura Ashley dress never did get worn and is now too big.

I decided New Year 2010 that I didn't need that negativity in my life and haven't spoken to my Dad since :(

Aww this really made me sad, i feel your pain. Yeah a 'well done' 'your doing really well' makes all the difference especially from some one so close to us.
As painful as it is to 'lose your dad' like that your right you dont need negativity in your life.

My dad has been given a life expectancy and is slowly dying so i feel like i could never abandon him or stop talking to him....but it doesnt give him the right to say these things, as they will stay with me long after he has gone. I have tried my best to make our relationship better but i think its beyond help, i love him very very much but i dont think we will ever be what i want us to be. And slowly im learning to accept that.

big big hugs to you hunny
xxx
ps well done on your fabulous weight loss, you should feel very very proud :)
 

jojojelly

New Member
When I was growing up my dad would say the most horrible comments to me, he thought he was being cruel to be kind! His family (my nana in particular) were always judgemental about people's appearence.
I can remember when I was about 9 years old that my nana would let my brother have chocolates or sweets but I wasn't allowed because I was too fat. Everytime I saw her growing up the first thing she would say when she saw me was whether I had lost weight or put it on!
Unfortunately the comments I recieved from my dad were most hurtful and really effected my confidence growing up. When I was about 20 I was going out and my dad made yet another hurtful remark - it was the straw that broke the camel's back!!! I confronted him about how horrible he was to me, I even made him cry. I honestly don't think he'd realised how he made me feel and in his mind he was 'helping' me. Since that day (I am now 37) he has never made cruel jokes at my expense. Our relationship as father and daughter has never been better, I now know he loves me & is proud of me whatever size I am.
As I have got older and more confident I will confront people who make remarks about my size or other people's.

Jo x
 

Yvessa

Well-Known Member
I once told me dad I was trying weight watchers to lose weight. He laughed at me. The next day, the diet went out the window. And if you read either of my diaries, you'll read all about my lovely mother.

My dad passed away two years ago and our relationship was never really repaired. We were on speaking terms, but the things that he would say still hurt.
 

lamornamiss

wants to be a loser
I do miss my Dad but my mental health comes first.
I miss my Mom more.
I can't see her as my Dad wouldn't be happy about it and I don't want to cause any trouble between them.
I made the choice to put my husband and kids first.
My hubby used to get really upset and angry about the way my Dad spoke to me, My Dad idolises my oldest daughter but never had time for my other daughter or son and they (youngest 2) don't want to see him so he has lost out.
 

Fuffs

Shrinking Big Brummie
Miss DeeDee said:
My dad was always awful about my weight - then he died a few years ago - and i spent the money he left for my op haha

Seems to balance it out right IMHO. Well done! :) xxx
 
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