peoples attitude !

[bigbob]

has any one else found so called friends changing towards you since your operation ? my so call best mate has really treated me badly like some thing he has scrapped off his shoe since i have started loosing weight , know he is a big lad and the fact i have always been bigger than him and now i am going the other way just wondering if any one has had the same issues i am having ?

 

[penelope1008]

Still pre-op but thoughtless comments from a colleague today made me shed a few tears and complain to our supervisor asking her to have a word. Like I have a choice about this op it's have it or risk an early death. I know there will be others who think like her and I hope I can deal with them appropriately if I need to.
I must learn the mantra again "It is their problem not mine, I know why I am doing this and so do those I love so anyone elses thoughts don't matter."

 

[dolly48dd]

Hi bob, I havn't told anyone that i had my opp. so i met up with a good friend who ive not seen since xmas she her self is a big girl but ive always been bigger.I had told her i had been on a diet since the last time i had seen her, she took one look at me and said " dear god you look like s**t" i had my new jeans on (that where 2sizes smaller). and i just looked at her and thought you jealous cow. she has not phoned me since. she is ment to be my friend why was she not happy for me? if it was the other way round i would be given her surport. some people don't deserve to have friends.xx

 

[penelope1008]

Sadly we can't have the positive support from all those in our lives but I think those that can't be happy for us are perhaps threatend by the positive changes in us and they have to deal with those feelings and accept us for the slimmer person we have become or will become as we tread our new path. Not what I was feeling this morning but distance and time to calm down help a bit to be more moderate in my response. They will either come to terms with the new slimmer you and still want to be part of your life or if not the loss is theirs as they will have thrown away having a great person to have in their life.

 

[Ankaas]

We are just doing what they would really love to do but those people don't have the balls to do it so we aren't in their gang anymore! Hey ho we can get ourselves a new gang. Surround yourself with people and things that you love - that's my mantra now. My friends and family (yes family can be as bad if not worse) circle may shrink but I'd rather have one good person in my life than ten people draining my energy. Take a step back from friends like him - he may come back after he thinks about why he is being such a prat.

 

[Tandydadder]

Some people can't cope with change. I lost 5 stone in 2007 (VLCD) and was shocked by the attitude of some friends. I realised that they liked me being big, so they would feel more attractive next to me. They also tried to sabotage my weightloss efforts. I don't see them anymore. I've since regained the weight (which pleased them no end). This experience has made me more guarded - I had always been very open & friendly, but at least I know the value of TRUE friendship. These people don't deserve to have you in their lives. You deserve to be cherished and supported, and made to feel good by those who surround you. Please don't fret over this. Be extra specially grateful for the true friends who love you no matter what. Xo

 

[Wendy1]

Who needs friends like that who cant be happy for you, i know i feel better in my self thats all thats matters. I think your all great x

 

[phatmomma]

Larger friends are often threatened by our weight loss success. It makes their lack of will power and success at losing weight even more harder for them. Does your friend know you've had surgery? If not then maybe you should explain what you went through to get where you are? He may have an interest.

Dolly, your friend is a b&*^%! I have a friend who had a wls proceedure herself 18 months ago and i recently discovered she has taken me off her friends on Facebook, this is a friend who came to my wedding over my brother and his family... I think she got fed up of me harping on about losses or lack of loss and also my fitness regime... Well to be honest i supported her and encouraged and always asked how she was, stuff her. I won't be doing a friend request to her anytime soon xx

 

[dolly48dd]

Larger friends are often threatened by our weight loss success. It makes their lack of will power and success at losing weight even more harder for them. Does your friend know you've had surgery? If not then maybe you should explain what you went through to get where you are? He may have an interest.

Dolly, your friend is a b&*^%! I have a friend who had a wls proceedure herself 18 months ago and i recently discovered she has taken me off her friends on Facebook, this is a friend who came to my wedding over my brother and his family... I think she got fed up of me harping on about losses or lack of loss and also my fitness regime... Well to be honest i supported her and encouraged and always asked how she was, stuff her. won't beI doing a friend request to her anytime soon xx

You keep doing what you doing which is great going. and don't give her the satisfaction of asking to be her friend.xx

 

[sicknote]

Jelosy In all its glory at work... be thankful for it as it lets you know who your genuine friends are, thus improving your social life & makes any lottery win alot easier to spred out pmsl xx keep smiling the mate's a waste of time xx

 

[Tandydadder]

So true sicknote!!