Shopping...

I spent what for me was a long time out today in our town having a mooch around the shops. I am not a fan of shopping – I do it when I absolutely need to. It was a nice day and I had a few things to do and feeling a lot more mobile than I was 6 months ago I decided to take advantage of my mood.

I made the mistake however of popping into our only department store to see if I could get measured for a new bra. It was one of the most humiliating experiences of my life. I knew it was not going to be good when the first comment the assistant made when I asked her what I needed to take off was “Take your top off and leave on your bra if you are wearing one”. I asked her if I was looking that saggy and she said yes. It went downhill from there. By the end of it I do not know who was feeling more embarrassed between the two of us. It was not helped when I overheard her saying to her colleague that she could not even get the last bra she brought for me to try over them – meaning my breasts – but it was the way she said it.

We decided after about 6 different tries and her colleague also coming in to ‘help’ (or wanting to see for herself the size of my boobs) that they would not have anything to fit. We did however ascertain that my back size has reduced from 50+ to about 36/38 but the cup size is the issue. It was almost worth the humiliation to at least find that out. I will go back to my usual online supplier on Monday and talk over with them what I should try. At least they know how to provide customer care.

It struck me having been through that experience that overweight people put up with a lot in terms of how they are treated. I felt less than human after the experience and then thought about other experiences of shopping in the past – the snide remarks and pitying looks you get from assistants and then I realised why I do not like shopping. I also realised despite having lost what I have, I still have a long, long way to go. I did feel a bit depressed when I got home. However having sat and thought about it for a while I decided this needs a new mindset – it is going to take a long time to get anywhere near ‘normal’ size. However, it will be worth it in the end – and it is about keeping going and not letting this defeat me.

I felt like running out of the place after the experience but I thought no...do not let them drive you out and I had a look around at a few other things. I talked to a nice lady in haberdashery where I stumbled on a session where you can knit and chat. It looked interesting so I may pop in again one Saturday with my knitting needles and start knitting again.


The good thing was I did not react to it by coming home and eating my way out of the depression I felt – not that I can with the restriction I have – so something positive came out of the day.

Just thought I would share

TB x

First of all, great news about reducing your bra back size so well.

Horrid and stupid shop assistants! They obviously do not know how to fit a bra. Useless. Please forget and move on.

Yes, as overweight people we do get a lot of abuse, in media too. Somehow it is perfectly OK to make fun of overweight people.
You have done amazing with your weight loss, and enjoy buying and wearing new, lovely stuff.

so sorry to read of your experience at the hands of a pair of numpties in that shop! I waited ages till I got myself sorted out with new bras the shop I went to had slightly older "bra fitter" that put me at ease told her why I needed a fitting and she couldn't have been any nicer,but at that time they did not stock my new size in ( this was at evans) but at least I got great advise and noted down my new size and went into "yours" got them to measure me as well and they came up with the same size just a size difference from g to h depending what bra I go for

Sorry to hear about your bad experience TB, I can highly recommend a shop in Blackburn if that's anywhere near you. It's a small independent and the fitter is fantastic always putting me at ease. She has a lot of WLS customers.

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Thanks all. I may go and try my local Evans a bit later. I just want to get a bit more accuracy in terms of the size to save having to buy online and send back anything unsuitable. Having slept on it I can almost see the funny side of it. The first shop assistant looked a bit traumatized when I came out of the changing room. At least if I go to Evans they are going to be used to dealing with boobs of a bigger size - I hope.

TBx

I find older ladies definitely much better. But I also find measuring at home is enough and I know how my boobs should sit in a bra. I would suggest you get an armful of bras, in 36/38 in a few different cup sizes and try them on. Balcony bras are the best for us ladies, because they lift up the lower breast which is where we tend to lose the least tissue.

Thanks Yve - you are so right. When my sister lived in London I used to visit and we went to a shop in Wembley that was fantastic for bras. The lady in there was brilliant. I suspect she may have retired now but if she was still around I would jump on the train to see her any time.

TBx

I think they have just seen many more bodies and have realised that people come in all shapes and sizes. The younger ones have seen too many magazines!

I never knew about balcony bras, makes so much sense, thanks!

Well I am just back from Evans. Nice lady - measured me - the back measurement given to me yesterday was way out and I am down one cup size. Had nothing in the shop to fit and she spared me the humiliation of trying to squeeze me into something that was not going to be suitable. At least I have a better idea of what to order online and try. Interesting two days - still don't like shopping.

Thanks for all your contributions to the thread.

TBx

Just be careful hon, I have found evans sizing weird compared to elsewhere.

Yvessa said:

Just be careful hon, I have found evans sizing weird compared to elsewhere.

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I was also told that Evans sizing is unique to Evans (by the lady measuring me in there) and to make sure I re measure if I go elsewhere xx

Thanks for that tip both. I though it was a little odd. As bad as the two were yesterday they were both adamant about the back size. I will have a chat with the online supplier and see what they suggest. I have measured myself as well and that seems to suggest I am between what the shops said. Who knew getting a bra would be so complicated.

TBx

I find the ladies who man the phones at Bravissimo and Amplebosom.com very helpful. Just had to return a swimsuit to Bravissimo I bought online because (drum roll) it is too big!! So chuffed...

I use ample.bosom so will call them tomorrow.

TBx

Bravissimo has an online guide that is very good.

Do you have a Bravissimo near you? Mine have been so good on the way down. Before I'd outgrown them as they don't do bigger back sizes but once I got into 36/38 the assistant was amazing. I'm now a 32J from a 46KK. Need to go bra shopping soon.

Thanks for the Bravissimo tips - will check them out at the weekend .

TBx

If you live anywhere near London then there is a shop called Rigby and Peller (they are quite expensive but have a brilliant fitting service and a wide range of bras).

Sorry to hear about your bad experience.