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Bridget Jones: dating recession over?

mayamoo

mayamoo

New Member
Well when it comes to dating I have been firmly in the Bridget Jones zone, single at all weddings, funerals and christenings, surrounded by smug marrieds . ..

What a difference a new wardrobe, haircut . . .. oh and losing 50+ lb makes - three guys asking me out in three days ... Mind boggling ... Especially when one guy only came to read my electric meter (not an euphamism!!) I havent said yes to any of them ( yet?) I keep thinking they wouldn't have asked the me of two months ago and its making me not want to say yes ... Anyone else felt similar?

Lucie x
 
mayamoo said:
Well when it comes to dating I have been firmly in the Bridget Jones zone, single at all weddings, funerals and christenings, surrounded by smug marrieds . ..

What a difference a new wardrobe, haircut . . .. oh and losing 50+ lb makes - three guys asking me out in three days ... Mind boggling ... Especially when one guy only came to read my electric meter (not an euphamism!!) I havent said yes to any of them ( yet?) I keep thinking they wouldn't have asked the me of two months ago and its making me not want to say yes ... Anyone else felt similar?

Lucie x
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Oh no ... If any of them are nice blokes enjoy the attention. Have fun! Life's too short. If nothing else, builds up your circle of friends :)

Sent from my iPad using WLSurgery
 
Maybe they're attracted to your newfound confidence, rather than just your looks?
 
Well, good luck, mayamoo !!

I think you should have some fun and just enjoy a date or two, at least!

I am pre-op and single and in my 40's, but if I have the same dilemma to deal with post surgery and post weight loss, can we go thru life thinking:

-- would this person / that person have been attracted to me if I was still big?


It is an almost impossible conundrum, but once you start dating someone, or just building up a friendship, you will find out soon enough if they have "negative WLS / negative fat" attitudes.
 
Did these men know you before your op ? If the answer is no, then who can say, maybe they would have asked you pre-op, they don't know what you have lost, or what you was like before :).

If they knew you pre-op ............ then show them the hand, if you wasn't good enough then, they are not good enough now :D

Shaz x x
 
The way I see it is:

If they knew you before, maybe you were less confident or carried yourself differently. Like you said its not just weight. New haircut, new wardrobe.

Also we all have tastes. You fit into a different category now. Don't feel offended for the old you. Rejoice in the new you :)

If they only know you of now, then don't worry if they would have fancied you. A guy may have a big belly and Meatloafs old hairdo..lose weight at WW, cut his hair and hit the gym. You meet him looking clean cut and well toned. You may have been horrified at him before. But here stands before you a hotty who you fancy. That wouldn't make you shallow. It means you simply like what you see NOW :)

Don't over think it. Just go on some no pressure dates and enjoy some of those new clothes :)
 
Agree with all of the above.
I have been very lucky as my weight has never been an issue when it comes to dating & relationships. But I do gree when you feel good you automatically excude that little something extra.
Date when you feel like it & no pressures. Hey just have some fun with your new found look & don't over analyse it.
 
Whats gone before has gone the old has past its the here and now that matters you go and get your life back girl, have fun live dangerously xx
 
Thanks everyone, I've had a real talking to from my friends, two of the guys I have known for a good twenty years they have literally seen me through thin and thick lol, they don't know about the op and haven't recently seen me or pics the only way they would know about the change in me would be through word of mouth, the eleccy guy I have never met before in my life. You are right I am making more effort with my appearance and maybe that's showing Im happier It's definitely my issue and low confidence.
 
mayamoo said:
Well when it comes to dating I have been firmly in the Bridget Jones zone, single at all weddings, funerals and christenings, surrounded by smug marrieds . ..

What a difference a new wardrobe, haircut . . .. oh and losing 50+ lb makes - three guys asking me out in three days ... Mind boggling ... Especially when one guy only came to read my electric meter (not an euphamism!!) I havent said yes to any of them ( yet?) I keep thinking they wouldn't have asked the me of two months ago and its making me not want to say yes ... Anyone else felt similar?

Lucie x
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Not the same thing - but I feel the same about people who've practically ignored me whilst I'm fat. As far as I am concerned, if they're that judgemental they're not worth bothering with. But at the same time, if you like any of these guys - then why not? It might not be the weight loss/image change that's made them take notice - they might have just taken a while to actually ask you.
 
Jamast said:
Not the same thing - but I feel the same about people who've practically ignored me whilst I'm fat. As far as I am concerned, if they're that judgemental they're not worth bothering with. But at the same time, if you like any of these guys - then why not? It might not be the weight loss/image change that's made them take notice - they might have just taken a while to actually ask you.
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That's another point. Maybe fear you may be snapped up soon as catapulted them into action :D
 
mayamoo said:
Lmao I don't know about that fuffs but I love the idea!! Xx
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Believe it!!! Lol!! Ride the wave of being wanted!! It rocks! Lol
 
I'd agree with shaz mind, if they knew you before weight loss then why weren't they asking you out before hand. You are the same person after all, just a good few pounds lighter.

Oh and I know all about being the single person at mates weddings etc. Been there done that got the XXXXL t shirt lol
 
Retfordmag said:
I'd agree with shaz mind, if they knew you before weight loss then why weren't they asking you out before hand. You are the same person after all, just a good few pounds lighter.

Oh and I know all about being the single person at mates weddings etc. Been there done that got the XXXXL t shirt lol
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Because like we said confidence can be the attractive quality AND we are all allowed to have certain tastes. Weight loss changes people's face, body shape and whole aura.

Maybe before May's aura said step away and now without her knowing she has become a man magnet loool
 
Often we are so scared of other peoples reactions we hold ourselves apart. We give off a 'don't come near me' vibe - I know I do sometimes. I am me with people who know me well, but often I come across as very reserved and unapproachable. Equally, even the small loss I've had so far has given me confidence, and one of my friends at work was saying that lately she felt much closer to me (she had bought me lucky earrings).
 
I'm looking fwds to getting all the attention. I'm such a cat.
 
Giggles
 
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