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o/t Fostering

Big an Bouncy

Big an Bouncy

New Member
My hubs and I have fostered in the past and are in the process of doing it again.Saw our social worker today and have started the ball rolling.Will have all the checks etc done,then our application should go to panel about Dec or Jan of next year.That means we could have a little visitor early in the year.Going to be busy with surgery(hopefully)and training etc for fostering.Hope the two dont clash!Would be nice to have some youngsters in the house again.We specialised in disabilities but are open to any child/children or young person.The social worker said since Baby Peters case there are lots more kids needing care.A sad enditment(sic)on our times...:cry:
 
... on the other hand, it may mean that social workers are being more cautious and so more children are finding a safe haven - which can only be a good thing. All the best with your application. It is such a commitment. It's sad that we need people willing to foster, but what a good job you do!! x x
 
Big an Bouncy said:
My hubs and I have fostered in the past and are in the process of doing it again.Saw our social worker today and have started the ball rolling.Will have all the checks etc done,then our application should go to panel about Dec or Jan of next year.That means we could have a little visitor early in the year.Going to be busy with surgery(hopefully)and training etc for fostering.Hope the two dont clash!Would be nice to have some youngsters in the house again.We specialised in disabilities but are open to any child/children or young person.The social worker said since Baby Peters case there are lots more kids needing care.A sad enditment(sic)on our times...:cry:
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I have the utmost respect for you...I would love to do this myself but fear we may be too old now...(In our 50's).

I often think of little baby Peter, his big blue eyes are so haunting...His case was so bad, so many people let him down.

I won't get started on how I feel about the thing that gave birth to him or how sentencing in this country is a joke and an insult to the memory of those who died at the hands of these types of monsters.

But I just wanted to say I applaud you and others who do such a wonderful job.

(((hugs)))
 
Good for you B & B, utmost respect and admiration for you and anyone who opens up their homes to help kids that need them. My OH's mum fostered for years, she used to take troubled teens. Me and my OH are considering adoption after I have lost more weight - been in the press recently that couples have been turned down for being overweight.

Maz x
 
Ditto to other people's comments i really admire you and am so pleased that you are going to provide a great home for a well deserving child. I manage a long term childrens home for extremely damaged/complex teenagers and amongst the successful "move ons" are to wonderful people like you who open their homes and hearts to support these vunerable children x
 
Wow well done, I have always admired people that are willing to foster and woudl love to do it however with 3 young ones of my own they are a handful, I love children and cant think what a house must be like without them (quiet i suppose) well done you do a brilliant job.
Dont get me started on Baby P, I just cannot understand how monsters minds work. I have three children 7, 4 and 20 months and cannot even think about what these sick *******s do.
Helen xxx
I hope you get a little one for December, I love chirstmas and relate it with being a child and it is such a special time for the young. xxx Helen
 
Thanks Guys,Snow you are not too old, you can foster till you are 70!If you have a spare room and a spare space in your hearts you can foster.Wont say its easy,sadly baby Peter is not the first and wont be the last,but we can try to heal the pain they have suffered,when they are removed from the insanity that manifests itself as their parents/carers/family.The sad thing is in most cases they still have the right to supervised visits...I can only imagine what goes through those kids minds as their tormentor walks through the door.Speaking as a child who was abused,and I know there are many who have eating problems,I always wanted to block the men from my mind,confronting them was very traumatic.I used to hide all weekend from the man next door cos he came home for weekends,he was my friends dad.How do you explain to another 9 year old that I didnt want to play out for yet another weekend!Anyhoo thats in the past ,nothing I do or say can change that.But the present and future is all mine!!!
 
Aww B & B...that's lovely!

I've thought of fostering a lot over the last year...our Son is almost 17 and I've got so much time on my hands when Hubby is at work I sometimes don't know what to do with myself :rolleyes: but don't think he would go for it...he's fantastic with kids but never wanted anymore than the one we have.

fingers crossed for you :fingerscrossed:
 
Big an Bouncy said:
Thanks Guys,Snow you are not too old, you can foster till you are 70!If you have a spare room and a spare space in your hearts you can foster.Wont say its easy,sadly baby Peter is not the first and wont be the last,but we can try to heal the pain they have suffered,when they are removed from the insanity that manifests itself as their parents/carers/family.The sad thing is in most cases they still have the right to supervised visits...I can only imagine what goes through those kids minds as their tormentor walks through the door.Speaking as a child who was abused,and I know there are many who have eating problems,I always wanted to block the men from my mind,confronting them was very traumatic.I used to hide all weekend from the man next door cos he came home for weekends,he was my friends dad.How do you explain to another 9 year old that I didnt want to play out for yet another weekend!Anyhoo thats in the past ,nothing I do or say can change that.But the present and future is all mine!!!
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Congratulations on yr application to become a foster carer again. I have fostered for the past 18 yrs. Initially with hard to reach teenagers and now with children with disabilities.

i have got to admit that i am quite shocked from yr statment "The sad thing is in most cases they still have the right to supervised visits...I can only imagine what goes through those kids minds as their tormentor walks through the door"

Children are placed in foster care for a number of reasons and not all of them have been abused. there are lots of children out there who through no fault of their own find themselves rejected and scapegoted through family breakdown, there are also some children whos behaviour for whatever reason is just too much for the families to manage and cope with. There are also the children who need a foster family due to their own parents ill health and also the children with disabilities whos parents simply cant cope and need that additional support. Regardless of why a child ends up being a looked after child they only have one set of parents and it is our job as foster carers to work in partnership with them without being judgmental.
I have worked with some parents who were very hard to engage but with determination and perserverance they have ended up having positive relationships with their children and some have even gone on to live back at home.
In the most severe of cases all contact has been cut but that doesnt stop the young person missing and loving their parents.
I myself was a very difficult teenager and if it hadnt been for the strength and determination of my mum i would of probably ended up in care. Again for me there were reasons for my behaviour but i use that experiance to see things from a young persons perspective as despite my experiance it didnt stop me from caring for that person.
I was surprised to here that yr social worker was saying that there had been an increase in placements here in bolton our foster placements have dropped but there are more family support workers in place working with the families in their own homes with some very good effect. I also do some outreach work with families working on parenting skills and sleep patterns I am a firm believer that a child where possiable should be at home with their parents.
What age group are you looking at? are you hoping to do long term or short term assessment. i love doing both an dcurrently do short break care for 2 severly autistic girls and preschool day care for a little boy with spina bifida and love it.
Heres to your bright fun filled new year
HC
 
I used to be a respite fosterer for children with disabilities, I totally agree with how rewarding it is.

I definitely plan to do it again but every bedroom in my house has a child in, and I work full time. But one day when the nest is emptying...

Good luck to you xx
 
I too applaud you wonderful people for what you do. My sister was a foster carer before she got so ill. The young lad she was caring for at the time had to be placed with another family and this broke her heart. I always wanted to be a carer even if it was just respite but I don't have a spare room.Well done to you all for opening up your home for the children who need stability and lovexx
 
Big an Bouncy said:
Thanks Guys,Snow you are not too old, you can foster till you are 70!If you have a spare room and a spare space in your hearts you can foster.Wont say its easy,sadly baby Peter is not the first and wont be the last,but we can try to heal the pain they have suffered,when they are removed from the insanity that manifests itself as their parents/carers/family.The sad thing is in most cases they still have the right to supervised visits...I can only imagine what goes through those kids minds as their tormentor walks through the door.Speaking as a child who was abused,and I know there are many who have eating problems,I always wanted to block the men from my mind,confronting them was very traumatic.I used to hide all weekend from the man next door cos he came home for weekends,he was my friends dad.How do you explain to another 9 year old that I didnt want to play out for yet another weekend!Anyhoo thats in the past ,nothing I do or say can change that.But the present and future is all mine!!!
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Hi B&B

Those monsters from your past have had their share of your past...But don't let them have a nano second of your present or your wonderful future.

I have counselled many hurt people who have gone through the same or similar to yourself...(a few years back now)...It's heart lifting when you see them take back their life and own their own futures.

I got choked up a few months ago when a woman with a baby in a buggy and a miserable teenage girl sat down with me to discuss a holiday (Travel Agent now for my sins). She parked the buggy at the side of her and never once attended this child when he gurgled and tried to talk to us...I pulled faces at him and did the baby talk with him and I got such a smile...Anyway, the woman decided on Costa Dorada and when i took the names of them, she included herself, the miserable teenage girl...(don't hit me, I love teenagers and wanted to specialise if I qualified)...but this girl was unbeleiveably ignorant and wouldn't answer me when I spoke to her; The mother never once corrected her rudeness and seemed to dote on the girl, but she continued to ignore this beautiful little boy in the buggy...

Sorry I digressed...I asked for their names spelled exactly as was in their passports, addresses etc etc...I then asked for the baby's name to which she replied...Oh God no, he'll be gone by the time I go on this holiday thankfully.

I was a little shocked, but it was not my place to ask why...The baby put his arms out to me and started to cry so I asked if he could come to me for a minute...She said no, he'll expect attention from me all the time if you do that....Eventually she told me that he was just a "foster" kid...and it paid for her holidays...She had no remorse when she said that he will probably go to many foster parent before he gets adopted as his own mother did not want him...I blurted out, I'll adopt him...

There are good and bad all over this planet, and to counter balance the story above, I know a woman who does emergency fostering and she has had some horrendous cases where the police are involved and this woman goes and picks the child up from the hospital or the police station...she had to have counselling on a regular basis to keep her grounded after some the cases of abused children she came across...she should have been given an award.

Go girl

(((hugs)))
 
Thanks for your replies girls,we are doing our first three training days in September,we have to go through all the usual stuff even though we have fostered before.Its at a hotel in Wilmslow.
I understand what you said Hoplesscase,I was only refering to kids that have been abused,I know there are many reasons for children going into care.I too, made good relationships with most of the parents.But I was looking after children with disabilities and not those that had been abused.My placement worker said there had been a significant rise in abused children on the books as a direct result of baby Peters case.Seems social workers are being even more vigilant.Rightly so too.
 
Hi i have fostered long term so much so he is still with me now from age 3 to 16 with L.D. Love him too bits part of the family 4 ever.
I would do it again with a sibling group and I,m 50 + single, gay and was working at the time, so if your the right person for the child you will have no problems the kids will have enough............Good luck Mia
 
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