Struggling :/

[Tiggerific]

I honestly dont know what is the matter with me today, I have woken with a feeling of doom about my WLS and life in general for the past few days and thought I would write it all down to rationalise it or get some advice from all the great knowledgable peeps on here.

I am now 12 weeks and 1 day post op and have lost 4stone 6lbs since my first weigh in with my bariatric team back in April this year. Great I know, but I was really hoping, and if I am honest, was expecting to lose much more by now! My first week after surgery I lost 1st 1lb and really thought that was how it would be for at least a few months, that the weight would fall off me in leaps and bounds but reality soon kicked in and the weight loss slowed to 1-2lb per week. I know that this is probably the most healthiest way to lose weight (slowly) but I am gutted that I have had major surgery to lose a week what I could lose on a "normal" low fat, low cal diet

I truly believed that I would lose masses of weight quite quickly and noticebly for at least the first 6 months and then slowly lose the rest at a steady pace.

For a healthy BMI I should be 10st 12lbs meaning I still need to lose 9.5 stone!! Which seems so far away and I am losing hope already just 12 weeks in!!

I feel elated when I think to myself I have lost 4st 6lbs (I have never lost this amount of weight before with WW, orlistat, diets etc etc) I was delighted just a few days ago because I can now get in a size 24 when I started at a size 32-34. But even today the size 24 feels crap

So why am I questioning everything already? Why am I not satisfied that I am losing weight? Why am I so down about it all?

I am struggling with eating on a daily basis. I cannot even think about food until the evening as everything I know I should be eating (protein) just makes me feel so sickly. I cant stomach the thought of food, Im bored of eating but I am hungry. It all seems like too much effort to eat during the day and I will admit that on most days I only eat once during the day between 6:15am and 5:00pm because the thought of food physically makes me sick, I have to force something, anything down. I try my hardest to drink during this time, usually NAS squash or decaf tea or even a glass of milk but no food. But come the evening and my stomach has had enough and my brain agrees and I can eat again. Very small portions as I have very good restriction and I will probably eat twice in the evening at about 5:30pm (evening meal) and then at 9-10pm ish but its only something like 2 crackers with low fat cheese/spread.

I am thinking this is why my weight loss is so slow, because I am not eating properly and my body is still in starvation mode? I have spoken to my dietician and he just tells me to eat 6 small meals a day making sure there is protein, carbs and veg included in each meal. I physically can not do it! I have quite tight restriction that means I feel uncomfortable after eating for a long time (it doesnt matter if I chew well, what I eat, how slow I eat etc) I always feel uncomfy after food (not in pain just not right) So trying to do that 6 times a day is a no no for me.

Trying to get my breakfast in is the worse meal, my pouch cannot tolerate eggs, bread, cereal and the thought of cheese/ham/chicken at that time in the morning does not appeal in the slightest.

I so want to eat healthily and in a timely fashion as this is what I need to do for the rest of my life to keep up the weight loss and then eventually maintain a healthy weight in the future.

We as a family can not afford protein drinks, shakes etc on top of our weekly shopping as I do not work at the moment (I have a huge incisional hernia which needs to be repaired again, hence the need to lose weight) and I honestly dont think I could even stomach them if I could afford them.

Whinge and moan over and if you got this far reading this, well done lol.

Its still not making any sense to me, why I feel this way, hoping someone, somewhere has some words of wisdom for me.

Alica xx

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

Awww honey, & you started the week so happy I can't help as I am pre op until Monday but can send you lots of hugs & love ... hope some of the long time post op'ers can offer you some help soon xxx

 

[MissDiet]

*hugs*

I truely feel for you. I'm only 3 weeks but the thought of eating fills me with dread.

Could you maybe have some strawberrys for breakfast or melon maybe?

I really wish i could give you a hug because i too am in the 'omg what have i done stage'. I will be gutted if my weight loss goes down and slows.

Xxx

 

[chubby funster]

Sorry to hear you are struggling. You really need to speak with your team. I can say that most of the time i have no appetite however i do not struggle to get my three meals in. Perhaps plenty of milk will help get your protein, fluid and calorie intake up.
Re the weight loss, i think we all want it off yesterday but it will take time. The op will only help, it does not guarantee bigger loss every week. You said yourself its more than you've lost on any other diet so be proud of yourself! 2lb a week is over 7 stone a year (i think?!? Maths id not my strong point!!)
Chin up x x

 

[Big an Bouncy]

You are right about one thing and thats if you stop eating your weightloss will slow down dramaticlly.You HAVE to eat or you will get ill,end up in hospital and could die.Im not trying to frighten you into eating but that is the reality.
Start small and build,I went through a period of forgeting to eat and food didnt taste the same but it does change as you get further out.
Try half a weetabix for brekkie,a babybel mid morning,Half tin tuna and mayo for lunch,1oz almonds mid afternoon.A spoon of beans on wholemeal toast(small) for tea,kids mini fromage frais in the evening.A banana anytime inbetween.Plenty of water.I nibbled on almonds all day at one time.If you like peanut butter get Whole Earth pnb and dip your almonds in it,Its all small portions of protien spreaqd over the day.As your appetite returns add in small portions of chicken,pork,turkey,beef and fish.the best meats are minced at first and plaice goes down better than cod initially.Dont try to run before you walk.Maz x

 

[Benrese]

Hi Alicia,

Aw, don't despair luv. You are still relatively "new" to this in the scheme of things.

Don't discount where you are at and your feelings. Even with ONE pound a week your emotions are bound to hop round. You are doing very well.

Food? It's' a tough thing. Nothing is the same at the start of it. I am sure others will tell you this too-but there will be one day when you WILL be able to eat again.

For now-it's all about protein. If you get nothing else in-protein is key. Eggs, bread and cereal? You just named the three most EVIL foods I knew of during my first year.

Even now-there isn't much value in bread and cereal. Those are sort of "filler" foods for me.

Don't even worry about carb and veg at this point. Yes, ultimately we need a balance-but don't forget "balanced diet" is not ever going to be what it used to be for us.

Do you have a copy of the RNY/WLS Food pyramid? It's quite different.

You are going to have to be your own Mum and your surgery will need to be your little one, your baby. You are going to have to be kind and gentle with this new baby and see what she likes.

You are the parent-so give her what she NEEDS first. Someone mentioned tuna-if you wet it down a bit with some low fat mayo-it's not half bad.

The other thing is that even a week can make a difference between a food that made you RUN for the hills to a food that now sits after WLS.

You do not need to buy expensive Protein drinks. Sure-it makes it a bit faster to get the protein grams in-but eventually you will want to eat some food-might as well start testing now.

Whatever you get down-try and make sure it has the most value. So you cannot eat six meals a day. Can you eat 2? If you can eat two,then maybe by next week you can eat 2 and a half.

You cannot do it all in one day.

Baby steps an protein first.

And of course-WATER. Get the fluids in. Again-I hate to drink water, but the danger is constipation and horrible dehydration-so I have learned how to make it not so icky.

Hang in there-there are many lovely days in store, I promise.

x

 

[shelbell]

If you are genuinely struggling with eating anything despite thorough chewing, small bites (no bigger than a pencil top rubber) and eating slowly, then you may have adhesions (scar tissue) around your stoma (stomach outlet). This isn't all that rare, and is quite easily fixed. Symptoms include pain on eating (and sometimes on drinking), a feeling of very tight restriction, vomiting, loss of appetite and nausea. There are a few members here who have suffered this and had it fixed through a procedure called a stretch. If it sounds like a possibility then you need to insist on seeing your surgeon again and ask for it to be investigated. If left it can lead to dehydration, malnutrition, and starvation.

Sent from my iPhone using Forum Runner

 

[stefanie]

I had two stretches, if you need any advice on that, or anything just shout xx

 

[Tiggerific]

Thank you all for your fantastic replies!! I am feeling much more positive and confident today and even managed to eat twice

(not very much but mostly protein)

Onwards and downwards!!!!