And so it begins! Diary of a skinny girl?!

[masonrules]

Posted the below 'quoted' section in 'diaries' the other day but realised I hadn't posted it in the lap band section...so starting again here. Also previous title of 'diary of a big girl' was maybe a bit negative (should be positive thinking!)...maybe 'diary of a skinny girl' (!) would be better!?

Anyway, on my way to Bromsgrove! Have a Travelodge booked for this evening and have to check in at dolan park at 9am tomorrow. Still doesn't feel real at all....looked at my stomach this morning and felt a bit guilty (it doesn't know what's coming its way!)

Anyway....will keep updating....if only to give myself a distraction on the train!

Hello everyone! I've been posting on people's threads for a while now, and as I have four (FOUR!) days to go until my band, I thought it was about time I started my own diary.

I've also felt nervous, scared, excited, anxious...and I know you lot are the best people to tell...I'm not sure even my best friends understand how I feel.

My name's Amy and I live in Bristol. I'm 6 ft tall which is, in part, the reason for the title of this post. As a teenager I was known as 'big Amy' and while not actually fat then (a size 12-14 to my size 6/8 friends!) I felt humungous...and not just because I was tall. In fact, I think it's the experience of being so much 'bigger' than my friends that lead me to believe I was fat...and in turn, to become fat.

I've been struggling with my weight for years and years. Lost four stone on Cambridge (haven't we all) only to put it back on a year later when I became depressed.

I have just turned 30, am single, and the prospect of a relationship terrifies me because of my size. If I don't want to see myself naked, then why on earth would anyone else?!

I recently became self-employed and for the first time could contemplate paying for a band (although it's been a serious struggle).To be honest, I didn't really have a choice - what better way could there possibly be to spend my money? For me, a band means the possibility of a relationship and family, as well as improved health and confidence.

I have only told a couple of close friends and feel guilty and anxious about not telling my family. I am really not sure they would understand, however I am not yet sure how I will hide it from them...hopefully if I drink slimfast/eat soup when I see them they will just think i'm on yet another diet!

I am scared about lots of other things too...complications, mainly. And of course, I am not convinced it will actually work...as I'm sure many of you have felt, there is a part of me that believes I will always be fat and that even a gastric band won't be able to help.

Anyway, thanks for reading this. I will post again on Friday!

Amy

 

[zarafa]

yaaayyyyy a fellow tall female
Good luck with the band - I had too much weight to lose to risk choosing it, but if not, it would have been my first choice for surgery

 

[masonrules]

Okay....I am in my room! Just had check-in stuff done by a lovely nurse. Apparently I am first down at 1.30....Hurrah! Blood pressure is a little high but she thought it should be okay for surgery, she has to check (fingers crossed). Feel nervous but less scared than yesterday. Looking forward to it being over!

 

[masonrules]

Couple of photos of my room and me!

 

[kirstyd]

Hope all goes well xxx

 

[masonrules]

I am banded!! And alive! Hurrah!!!! Wounds are uncovered and tiny....really surprised, they look like scratches. Make room on the losers bench! Xxxx

 

[JO28172]

Yeyyyyyyyy! Now put ya feet up n relax xx

Sent from my iPad using WLSurgery

 

[masonrules]

Thank you! Feel amazing...morphine rules!

 

[mimi42]

Your beautiful and don't let any one tell u any different you are going to b amazing on the losers bench good luck .

 

[masonrules]

Ahhhh thank you so much! Look a bit manic in that picture I posted....was scared! You'll be fine here at Dolan park....everyone has been absolutely lovely xxxx

 

[mimi42]

I hope so and I think about all the same things as u especially about it not working I've been fat for so long its hard to imagine me any other way.u always think the worst

 

[chrisa]

Well done you pleased the op is ova now the hardest work begins, spirits up weight down xx

 

[masonrules]

Yep! Feeling good (touch wood) been walking about. Really pleased with my scars....below is a picture (I always wanted to see peoples wounds post op but couldn't find many photos) . Can't thank everyone on here enough....I'd have been lost without this forum!

 

[masonrules]

Ha! Two AND the wrong way round? I blame the morphine!

 

[miserable]

Welcome, we are a great bunch here

 

[masonrules]

I know! You really are.The nurse just asked me to come and see a pre-opper who was panicking and reassure her! Feel like a proper post-opper now!

 

[miserable]

That's really good of you xxx

 

[lolalou]

Found it! Your scars are really neat, mine are too but when I woke up mine had dressings on, I've got a mega bruise on one of mine! Well done on being up and about walking! I felt way too sick for that but they said I had reacted to the morphine too as my head and face was itching like crazy so I had to have oxygen all afternoon to help clear it! I feel loads better and went out for a little walk tonight, it felt like it was pulling which was more uncomfortable than anything, I'm now back in bed as the wind pain is back in my shoulder and chest, thought it would be well gone by now! When do we get our phone calls do you know? Think I was still a bit high when they told me! X

 

[Mazza]

Yey, pleased it went well. Hope you manage to get a good nights sleep xx

 

[masonrules]

Thanks Lola and mazza. Can't sleep...too much adrenaline I think! Woke up after ten mins in recovery room at 2.30 and have been awake ever since. Uh oh. Lola - don't know about calls but will find out and let you know. Thanks so much for your support. X