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Helllppppp!! Is it normal to feel like this?

Cuppacocoa

Cuppacocoa

wants the sunshine back!
Hi guys!

I stumbled across this website a couple of weeks ago and have just got brave enough to register and join in! You have already given me so much help and advice without even knowing it so thank you! :hug99:

I have just been for my first app with my consultant (Mr Doug Whitelaw) to discuss having weightloss surgery. I have been considering this option for a few years now but have always been a bit scared by it. My GP agreed months ago to refer me and try to get funding but after several attempts the answer is still a flat no. :rolleyes: I have a BMI of 45 and weigh just over 20 stone but have no co-morbidities, hence their decision.

So, after lots of thought, my hubby and I decided to go privately. For a long time I thought a band would be the best option for me, but since finding this site and reading all of your experiences, good and bad, I decided a bypass might be the better option for me and my eating habits.

A visit to my consultant confirmed to me that a bypass was the way to go, and my husband and I were totally reassured by everything he said. I came out of the hospital feeling relieved that something was finally happening and a little bit excited at what the future could hold.

BUT... and this is what's confusing me, since that appointment 48hrs ago I have been like a bear with a sore head; stressed, worried, scared and feeling totally confused!! One minute I'm totally up for it and wishing I could have the op tomorrow, the next I am incredibly negative (not like me) and worried sick that this is just too drastic a step. Is this normal? Could it be just because it is 'real' all of a sudden and not just a pipe dream? I have tried for 15 years to lose weight and it hasn't happened yet so surgery seems the only option left to try. But man does it frighten me. :eek:

Is this normal or could it be a sign that I'm just not ready for this next step? Arghhh I'm so confused, my brain hurts!! :confused::rolleyes::jelous:

Cuppacocoa xx
 
"it is real all of a sudden"

This was definately the case for me. I decided to have my op quite quickly and when I agreed the date and paid for it, i was 100000% sure in my head it was the right thing. Then all of a sudden i began doubting myself. was i doing the right thing? is it too drastic? and the fear of the op kicked in aswell.

For a few weeks I would daily change my mind about having my bypass and the worry was unbearable. But I came to the decision in my head that these nerves are normal and everyone goes through them. Your changing your life and thats a massive thing, who wouldnt be nervous before doing that?

Its a tough decision to reach and one that nobody finds easy. But whichever decision you come to, stick with that decision and be happy with it.

Good luck xxxxx
 
Hi Cuppacocoa

Welcome to Mini's

All your feelings are totally natural...Weight loss surgery is a very scary thing...I would worry about you if you weren't worried.

One minute you want it over and done with and the next when you start to think deeply about the whole thing, you then feel like giving it a wide birth.

When I feel like this...and I do all the time because I haven't had any surgery yet...I think along the lines of if someone were to pull the rug from under me and take my chance away of having surgery at all...how much would I fight to get it back....well tooth and nail would be the answer.

You are going to have yours privately so the wait is not going to be very long at all and you've just made it very real...but you do need some time to get your head around the whole thing and also to think about "afterwards" too...you might grieve the old you and the old eating habits...

There are loads of lovely people here who have gone though what you are feeling now, they'll be along to advise you soon....And you'll get loads of support from everyone at Mini's.

Well done for taking that first step to a new you...


(((hugs)))
 
Hi and welcome :)

I hope how you are feeling is normal as I am feeling exactly the same! I weigh almost the same as you I think and have been trying to lose weight for 15+ years as well!

However, I have funding in place but just being referred now, so waiting for that and getting very impatient.

The weekend I found out my funding was secured was hell. My emotions and mind were all over the place and only now a week later am I calming down.

My one fear is dying, I don't fear the op or anything to do with the lifestyle changes, just death! Quite irrational but at the same time human I guess.

Keep us posted :) as you won't have to wait long!
xxx
 
Hi Cuppacocoa
I felt exactally the same as you, so don't worry its quite normal to have these feelings, I was so worried because I loved my food so much and I knew I was gonna miss the comfort of eating food. But I also knew I couldn't carry on and really wanted to be heathy and slim once and for all, It only took 2 weeks for me from first phone call to my actuall Op Gastric Bypass and it was like OMG this is it am i doing the right thing. But 9 months on I feel fantastic I have almost lost 7st and I CAN NOT believe how different & Healthy I feel. It was the best decision I have ever made in my life and I am soooo Happy words cannot express how i feel.
I will tell you the first few months was the hardest for me, It was such a rollercoaster of a ride and somedays I was down in the dumps and it was really hard to get my head around, but hey when you see the lbs dropping off it makes it all worth while.
Whatever you decide Good luck on your Journey!!!
 
fat-girl-slim08 said:
Hi Cuppacocoa
I felt exactally the same as you, so don't worry its quite normal to have these feelings, I was so worried because I loved my food so much and I knew I was gonna miss the comfort of eating food. But I also knew I couldn't carry on and really wanted to be heathy and slim once and for all, It only took 2 weeks for me from first phone call to my actuall Op Gastric Bypass and it was like OMG this is it am i doing the right thing. But 9 months on I feel fantastic I have almost lost 7st and I CAN NOT believe how different & Healthy I feel. It was the best decision I have ever made in my life and I am soooo Happy words cannot express how i feel.
I will tell you the first few months was the hardest for me, It was such a rollercoaster of a ride and somedays I was down in the dumps and it was really hard to get my head around, but hey when you see the lbs dropping off it makes it all worth while.
Whatever you decide Good luck on your Journey!!!
Click to expand...

Cuppacocoa

Have a look at Fat girl slims photos...if anyone is an inspiration she is...

(((hugs)))
 
Thank you! All your advice is so gratefully received and I am feeling heaps better already! xx

Snowcrystal, thank you and you are absolutely right. If someone were to take this opportunity away from me now I would be gutted.

Fat-girl-slim08 you have done fantastically well and I look forward to seeing your photos! (I think I have to post some more before I can view them).

Mark, thank you mate, your advice is invaluable.

Dell, snap! Sounds like we have a lot in common! You are lucky to get funding, its really tough where I live and despite several attempts we didn't get the answer we wanted. So private it is! I hope you don't have to wait too long for your appointment xx

Re dying, I know how you feel. I asked the consultant about any of his cases that didn't quite go to plan and now I'm wishing I hadn't! :rolleyes: But they have to spell out the risks to us and I guess we just have to rely on them doing their job and try not to worry about it too much. My hubby says everything you do in life has a risk involved, its just that its not always spelt out in front of you.

Cuppacocoa xxx
 
Hi Cuppa
Can't add any more to the great replies you have had already i felt the exact same way as you but 5 weeks post op i'm so glad i went through with my op. It's all very natural to have a rollercoaster of emotions at this stage. I went privately too so the one of the things you have an advantage with is you can control the timescales to suit you. xx
 
Hi Allie, thank you and congrats with you weightloss so far, you must be thrilled!

I am starting a diet tomorrow to try and lose the required 5% of my current weight before surgery. Do you have any tips on the best way to lose this? Are there any tried and tested methods? I have to lose 13lbs over the next 7 weeks or the op will be delayed. :doh:

Cuppacocoa xx
 
PS just wanted to add it feels really weird to be talking openely about my weight on here, it's the first time I've ever done that! Normally a very sensitive subject and one I shy well away from, but on here, although still embarrassing and shameful to admit what I weigh, its also liberating to be able to openly discuss it.

Cuppacocoa xx
 
Cuppacocoa said:
PS just wanted to add it feels really weird to be talking openely about my weight on here, it's the first time I've ever done that! Normally a very sensitive subject and one I shy well away from, but on here, although still embarrassing and shameful to admit what I weigh, its also liberating to be able to openly discuss it.

Cuppacocoa xx
Click to expand...

Hi Cocoa

I see everyone has told you it is a normal thing to feel what your feeling, and it is.

The worst part on the NHS is the wait inbetween being accepted and getting funding. This is a wait you wont have and alot less stress along your journey.

Look on youtube type in gastric bypass results or weight loss etc and see the video's of people like us who have been there and done it and how great they are looking and feeling.

Get hold of a copy of weight loss surgery's for dummies and read up on what happens after the op and the life changes.

This will keep you positive and less nervy.

Good luck on your journey and I look forward to sharing your joys along the way. :D
 
Hiya CuppaCocoa
I wanted to say welcome and just re-iterate what others have said really, we all have the jitters before surgery but I'm sure that you and your husband will be absolutely fine! How brilliant that you have your partner going through it with you, I wish you both all the best and lots of love and virtual hugs from me xx
 
Cuppacocoa said:
PS just wanted to add it feels really weird to be talking openely about my weight on here, it's the first time I've ever done that! Normally a very sensitive subject and one I shy well away from, but on here, although still embarrassing and shameful to admit what I weigh, its also liberating to be able to openly discuss it.

Cuppacocoa xx
Click to expand...

It is liberating, isn't it?...Kind of sets you free.

(((hugs)))
 
Allie hummmm not sure either! How many posts do I have to do before I can receive/send pm's?

Strawberry Twig, I guess I am lucky that I don't have that wait, I see your op is in 22 days time, not long now! Are you nervous yet? Silly question! I will look at the videos and book you suggested, thank you xx And good luck!

Neen, thank you for your support, it's just me having the surgery, not hubby too! Would be great to do it together but he's skinny as a rake so no chance of that! :D Very supportive though and he agreed to us borrowing some money to pay for my surgery so I'm very thankful to him for that! :worthy:

Cuppacocoa xx
 
50 posts!You are totally normal,well just like us lot!!How normal do you want to be...lolAnd you are more likely to die from a falling coconut than surgery!Oh **** Im standing under a palm tree...Maz x
 
Lol Neen that's fine, on reading my post back it does suggest we are both having it done! Nah, my hubby just has to put up with me going on about it all the time! :rolleyes: xx

Maz, move, quick! :gen157: xx
 
Laughing, hmmmm Neen his idea of heaven is a night of passion with Dawn French so the slinky skinny thing just wouldn't do it for him!!! But heck you never know one day I just might convert him!! ;):D xxx
 
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