Dilemma.... What Would You Do?

[Katastrophe]

Ok here's the thing.

I'm a contractor but i've been at the same place for over 2 years now. This isn't something i expected to happen so when i was going for all my tests and hospital appointments last year i didn't tell anyone at work what it was for.

I'd told my manager i should be having an operation sometimes in the future but didn't say what for. When he asked me out of the blue one day i said the first thing that came into my head... which was hysterectomy ( figuring he's a man and wouldn't know too much or want to ) LOL.

Only one other person has actually asked me what Op i'm having.

So i was meant to finish my contract in January and this wouldn't have been a problem, but basically i'm still there.

Do i come clean or not ? I should be going back after my bypass as i'm contracted till the end of April at the moment. They tend to give me a month or two at a time so realistically i could be there for another 6 months or more ... It could also get sticky when people start to ask questions about my Op or if i'm sick for any reason.

I've also got to start my pre-op diet on Monday and as it's slimfast so i can't really hide it that well. I've already had a couple at work and usually get " what are you having that rubbish for " - this isn't meant in a nasty way, i guess it's just seen as a bit of a fad.

Aside from all this i hate lying and am terrible at it.

Any comments or advice welcome

 

[Big an Bouncy]

Just stick to the lady problem excuse.say it all went great and you are having a lifestyle change by eating really healthily.Its no ones business but yours at the end of the day.

 

[Nightwitch]

i know when i first told my managers last year ( i have 4) i was honest with them but also made it very clear that i was telling them this confidentially and did not want it to become public knowledge until i was ready to tell others myself.
They have been very supportive of my choice to do this

I hope it all goes well for you x

 

[Katastrophe]

Hmmm, it's one of those places where gossip spreads like wildfire though and i'm pretty sure direct manager probably couldn't keep it to himself as he always tells me all the gossip lol.

I do agree it's noone's business, i might just see how i feel after the operation.

Thanks for the comments

 

[dreamofbeingslim]

I have told loads of people about the op. Not one person has been unsupportive quite the opposite. Having said that everyone is different and you need to do what is right for you.

 

[Porpo]

I haven't told anyone at work about the op. I didnt want to be gossiped about and have my weightloss constantly evaluated.

I said that I was having some surgery for some stomach ulsers/reflux problem that I was genuinely having. They didnt notice the weight loss to start with. You can always blame the coming op and say that you' ve been told to get your weight down before the hysterectomy. I've found that people are fairly disinterested and will tend to take what you say at face value. Now they're noticing the weight dropping so I'm saying that I'm doing a run to raise money for cancer research in July and that its making me lose loads of weight....

Its up to you whether you own up but really it's only your business and if you dont want to tell them then you don't have to tell them.

 

[Katastrophe]

i think they'd be supportive and wouldn't say anything bad ( to my face ) but like Porpo i don't really want my weight to be evaluated and discussed amongst people who don't really know me.

All my family and friends know about it and are supportive and i think that's what counts most

 

[gaelic girl]

I have to say i told everyone in work including the teenagers i work with but that was def a personal choice. Everyone was and still is supportive and encouraging, i felt i had to tell my boss and i have been there over 8 years and they were all aware of my yo yo dieting so would question the rapid weight loss xx

 

[Stellap]

I said I was having an operation on my bowel - sort of the truth (they know I'm diabetic and assumed it was because of that) it also explained my weight loss as I said I coudn't eat properly because it was healing and was on a liquid diet.

 

[marky v]

i'll sound contoversial, but why make up stories?? at the end of the day, we have a weight problem....you're doing something about it.....at the end of the day it is your choice, but let's be honest, you don't lose drastic amounts of weight after a hysterectomy now do you, and even us thickie blokes know that, so they'll gossip then, my advice would be to tell your line manager as such the truth, and as already said, tell them it's in strictest confidence, at least they know what's actually going on, with the weightloss you'll get the confidence to tell everyone else, in fact you'll love telling them, but good luck in your choice, my advice, TELL THEM EVERYTHING!!

 

[phatmomma]

I'm a bit of a yes/no person here. I've told people at work - but only those who i talk too (thats not me being a mardy mare i work on a ward with a rotation of 176 staff and only started working there last August). I choose who i want to tell but if people ask after i will be honest...

If i was you i'd think about telling your boss what your operation is but only when you have a date for it. Also stress that this is highly confidential information that only he knows (thus eliminating any chance of gossip without you knowing who started it) and that you will share it with people when you are ready! As for the slimfasts, put them in a clear plastic beaker with a lid, nobody knows your business then If they discover it just tell them you are losing some lbs for medical reasons xx

 

[Katastrophe]

i'll sound contoversial, but why make up stories?? at the end of the day, we have a weight problem....you're doing something about it.....at the end of the day it is your choice, but let's be honest, you don't lose drastic amounts of weight after a hysterectomy now do you, and even us thickie blokes know that, so they'll gossip then, my advice would be to tell your line manager as such the truth, and as already said, tell them it's in strictest confidence, at least they know what's actually going on, with the weightloss you'll get the confidence to tell everyone else, in fact you'll love telling them, but good luck in your choice, my advice, TELL THEM EVERYTHING!!

Hi Mark, The only reason i didn't tell them in the first place was because i truly didn't think i'd still be there so there seemed to be no need, my contract is on a month to month rolling basis. It's still actually possible that they won't extend past the end of April so noone would be any the wiser. Thanks for the advice though , i'm still tempted to come clean anyway.

I'm a bit of a yes/no person here. I've told people at work - but only those who i talk too (thats not me being a mardy mare i work on a ward with a rotation of 176 staff and only started working there last August). I choose who i want to tell but if people ask after i will be honest...

If i was you i'd think about telling your boss what your operation is but only when you have a date for it. Also stress that this is highly confidential information that only he knows (thus eliminating any chance of gossip without you knowing who started it) and that you will share it with people when you are ready! As for the slimfasts, put them in a clear plastic beaker with a lid, nobody knows your business then If they discover it just tell them you are losing some lbs for medical reasons xx

Hi Julie, my date is 12th April so only 2 weeks today. I took the slimfasts in today and just said i needed to lose weight before my Op - funnily enough loads of people know i'm having an operation, but only 1 person as asked me what for - which is great for me as i don't have to explain anything.

I'm pretty sure i'm going to wait till i go back and then if my contract is extended tell them then

 

[phatgirl]

It is really up to you and how comfortable you are with people knowing your business. Just one point, if you will be working there after your surgery you might want to announce a diet of some kind as sudden weight loss in large amounts directly after major surgery might lead people to think you are seriously ill and you don't want that. Also your sick leave time after a hysterectomy is much longer than a bypass (bypass 2-4 weeks, Hysterectomy 6-8 weeks).

In the end only you know what feels 'right' to tell everyone and it really nobody's business afterall.

Nic

 

[jean13]

It really is your choice, but I didn't tell anyone at work. My boss is a bit like yours tells me all the gossip about everyone else, so would do the same about me. I told them I was having my gall bladder removed, don't really know why but was the first thing that came to mind. I have lost weight but as my weight has gone up and down over the years, I have just put it down to dieting and excercise. Good luck in whatever you choose to do, but don't stress about it, it's nothing to do with anyone except you.

Jeanx

 

[Katastrophe]

Thanks everyone for your good advice and comments

I bit the bullet and told them. I just told 2 of my managers and i told the lady i directly work with.

They all saw it as a positive thing and i'm glad i told them now.

In the end my main reason for telling them was that i thought when i go back, if i'm feeling unwell for any reason they'll be more understanding if they know the reason why. We also discussed maybe going back for a few days at first instead of the whole week.

I'm getting very nervous now, only 10 days to go and stuck to my pre-op religiously though, it seems to get easier after the first couple of days - so hoping i have a very shrunk liver