• Hi, If you cannot get into the site, be sure to Contact Us. Please be advised that the app is no longer in use!

How the HELL did I end up where I have???!!!

Hi everyone,

Sorry in advance for the long post!!

I've had a very reflective and sombre day today and finally been slapped in the face with the biggest reality check EVER!!!

Coming up very nearly to 2 months post Op, I am slowly but surely coming to terms with my sleeve and my new way of life and having been self funding, even in these early stages of uncertainty I believe that I have made the right decision to lose weight and lead a much healthier life, and that it is money well spent!!

Finally plucked up the courage to go to the dentist and have had the shock of my life!!! My teeth have become so bad that I will probably end up losing so many now and will end up spending another fortune to fix this major problem. I had no idea that things were THIS bad!!!!

For all the years of having my biggest weakness... Chocolates!! Years of drinking diet coke, irregular meal times to name but a few bad habits, I can't believe how or why I had let myself go so much and ended up in this state. All the years I kept thinking that although I was overweight, I was active and fit and that all I had to do was lose weight as the rest of me was fine!!! I was only fooling myself!!

I'm sure that some people reading this can relate to having other severe medical problems that has been linked to being overweight, for example, not being able to conceive, and developing other diseases etc etc.

How the hell did we allow ourselves to get to the stage where we didn't have any self worth (and perhaps self control) and ignored the signs and advice of loved ones for us to carry on with these bad habits which have affected our lives so drastically???

Now to try and undo all the bad habits and decisions I have made, I need to go through so much stuff physically, mentally, emotional and financially to try and put it all right. I know for me now I have to find the strength and dig really deep to now move on and deal with life in a more suitable way than harming or punishing myself (and my body) as I've done in the past!!!

I know we all have our own personal stories, tragedies and consequences of past actions that has brought us all here but I can't believe how we have overlooked the most important person in our lives... OURSELVES and just let it all consume us the way it has.

Is there anyone out there that feels the same?!



Still, looking at the positive side, better late than never to deal with it!!

Have a good week everyone and apologies again for the long post!! Xx
 

Crystalrainbow

Well-Known Member
Sometimes life gets the better of us and we give up all hope and the last person that matters is US..... i'm so with you...illness and unable to conceive.... years of neglect and sticking our heads in the sand!! I know for one that I really couldn't careless at one point if I even lived or died.... now that's bad.......but finally something somewhere at some point got me to where I am......and just over 1 year post op (band) i'm almost 9 stone down(since band) 11 stone total and LOVING life...... the only person that can do this for us is US and unfortunately it has to be when the time is right for us :) i'm so pleased your time came around....and to everyone else out there pre op or even just thinking about it.....time to take control back over your life..... and my favourite saying 'come on in the waters warm' :) x x x x x
 
Sometimes life gets the better of us and we give up all hope and the last person that matters is US..... i'm so with you...illness and unable to conceive.... years of neglect and sticking our heads in the sand!! I know for one that I really couldn't careless at one point if I even lived or died.... now that's bad.......but finally something somewhere at some point got me to where I am......and just over 1 year post op (band) i'm almost 9 stone down(since band) 11 stone total and LOVING life...... the only person that can do this for us is US and unfortunately it has to be when the time is right for us :) i'm so pleased your time came around....and to everyone else out there pre op or even just thinking about it.....time to take control back over your life..... and my favourite saying 'come on in the waters warm' :) x x x x x


Hi Crystalrainbow,

I am so happy that your post is positive on how phenomenal your weight loss has been in a year and how your perception of life has changed for you now. Congratulations on your massive achievement!! That's brilliant and what you deserve!!!

It is so sad and scary how so many people have felt as careless as you about living or dying (I've questioned myself too!!!). You are so right about when the time is being right for us. For all these decades I didn't do anything about it because I didn't care enough about myself and now, finally, I've got my lightbulb moment!!...... And thanks!!! I've come in and you're right, the water's lovely!!! Thanks also for the inspiration!!! Xxx
 

los in it

Well-Known Member
I have nelgected myself for years now im paying the price for that,i lost a front tooth and its changing me im very smily but not of late have to visit the dentist to get the ball rolling but scared of the work I know will need doing after years of eating bad stuff &not taking care of myself but still scary I only have myself to blame I have to put on my big girl knickers and start getting the job done!
 
I have nelgected myself for years now im paying the price for that,i lost a front tooth and its changing me im very smily but not of late have to visit the dentist to get the ball rolling but scared of the work I know will need doing after years of eating bad stuff &not taking care of myself but still scary I only have myself to blame I have to put on my big girl knickers and start getting the job done!

Hi Los in it,

I totally agree with you and it's the same attitude I had about being scared of how much work would be involved and so I kept postponing it. I strongly recommend you go as soon as you can and avoid the mistakes I made of prolonging it and costing so much more!!
Our smiles are an important feature of our faces and I can totally relate to what your saying. I lost my confidence when speaking to people and even a silly thing like stop posing for photographs because I didn't feel confident!!! So get your "not so big girl's knickers on" and make the appointment!! :). Xx
 

BFB

New Member
Oh blimey, found your post hun. :)

What a nightmare that you're having to go through this. I know for me, I over ate, made the wrong choices, skipped meals, binged and I just didn't care. I was abusing myself. It is self harm. People tend to have sympathy for those who cut themselves or drink to much or whatever but people with weight problems are made fun or abused in the press etc and that really doesn't make you feel great. How can we love ourselves if all that's happening? Until people have a weight problem, how can they know how it feels to look in the mirror and hate what's staring back, to deal with people's nasty comments and to feel like total ***** as you eat the 5th donut out the pack.

But from somewhere we have to find the strength to love ourselves, or even like ourselves, to think that we are bloody worth it, to take care of ourselves and to try and grab that bit of happiness. Weight loss, whether it's surgical or not, brings with it so many emotions and struggles, but to feel healthier as a result surely will be worth it. And once we're on the road to success, or once we've made that decision to have WLS, then we've made that decision that yes, we are worth it. Your eyes become open and you see what else needs fixing.

In the last few weeks I've started growing my nails. I always used to bite them but now I want them to look nice. I've always worn what fitted, but now I'm looking forward to buying things that are a bit more fashionable. I want to get a bike and start getting fit. I want to look after myself like never before.

And you're right, it's better late than never. :)

You'll get your teeth sorted and anything else that crops up. You're on your way...... :) xx
 
Top