anyone have opposition from friends?

[blueeyes]

Sometimes people who react badly just don't have the necessary information about the surgery. They don't know how the procedure is done and works and they probably don't know what is required after surgery. Whenever I do encounter someone who thinks this is the 'easy way out' I take the time to explain why it isn't easy (if the person is worth it mind, some people are just not worth my time and effort) and what kind of commitment is required before and afterwards to make it work, and lose weight.

Anyone who genuinely cares about you should be applauding you for taking measures to improve your health and prolong your life.

It is true that relationships change, some break off completely, new ones are built, once you lose a lot of weight. It's part of the deal and I was told this pre-surgery, that it could well happen to me afterwards. People don't like change.

I have always been 'the fat friend' and have had fat friends myself, and there is comfort in that. Not in a bad way, but just because you know they're struggling with the same things and there is empathy there. You don't feel so along in the world if you have a friend who goes through the same thing. When you lose your 'buddy' like that, it's difficult. I went through that before I lost weight, and would have found it difficult, had I not lost weight myself later on. I'm not saying what your friend said is okay - by far - but maybe she just hasn't found a way to express her fears correctly. If she's a close friend and you care about her, I'd talk to her some more to try and get to the bottom of this.

 

[Snow White]

I don't know what to think. I'm not gonna be put off. She could quite easily have the surgery if she chose to. No waits, no pct stuff. We had talked before about us both having it. So, some of the venom just seems misplaced.

 

[vonny]

Oh my im so sorry your going through this its not very nice at all. I haven't kept my surgery a secret at all in fact i've plastered it all over facebook as i'm proud of having the surgery and for loosing as much weight as i have so far.
All of my friends have been very supportive unfortunately i can't say the same with some members of my family, my brother and his wife (my old best friend) who are about the the same weight as i was before surgery have reacted very badly to my surgery (even though they promised to be supportive) my sister in law actually said its not fair because now im the FAT friend and not you and my brother constantly says the only reason for my weight loss is because i had the surgery but as everyone on here will tell you thats only a small part of the battle the rest is hard work and determination.

I say if your health is at risk then you have to put your life first and if she can't handle that then she's not a very good friend at all.

Good luck with your decision xxx

 

[Snow White]

Thanks, I don't know why people don't get the health thing. I have been lucky so far that I'm not diabetic or have high bp. YET! I struggled to get pregnant cause of Pcos. Luckily my pregnancy was fine. But, that was after several miscarriages and years of heartbreak. I cost the NHS much more than your average prego cause of all the extra precautions they took for the delivery.
Now, my body feels like its coming apart. I can't be the kind of active mum my babies deserve. I take painkillers like sweeties just to function. So, for someone to not understand my need for surgery is insulting. Is it a crime to just want to feel normal? I hate going to unfamiliar places like restaurants. Eyeballing the booths to work out if I will be able to fit. The list goes on...

Thank you all for being so welcoming!