Taking 'the easy way out'

[tiarasandtantrums]

My sister went on her first diet ever just before Christmas and managed to lose over four stones. (Well done!) She has also exercised like a demon and now has arms like Madonna!

On the other hand, I have been on and off diets pretty much for the last thirty years or so and have lost hundreds and hundreds of pounds. At the end of February I had a gastric sleeve and have lost 74 pounds since then (Well done me!)

My sister loves to tell me how she has done it the 'healthy way' and I took the 'easy way'. She is six years younger than I am. We visited them the other day and both hubby and I were shocked at how old she looks! My DH said that she looks a good ten years older than me now. I'm pretty sure he's right too. She has also been told to stop dieting (by her doctor) and to stop doing so much exercise (by her chiropractor).

When I walked into her house the other day, the first thing she said was - wow, you look so healthy!

Ok, I know I've had surgery which has been a great tool and I wouldn't have been able to make the changes I have without it, but I am eating so much more healthily now. Plus I'm doing at least an hour of cardio exercise each day.

So, my question is, should I feel guilty that I have 'taken the easy way out?' Or should I just revel in the fact that I am feeling so healthy for the first time in decades?

Answers on a postcard please (or you could just reply on here ) xx

 

[cherry]

Hi, im sorry i feel very strongly on people saying wls is the 'easy' way out! what easy about choosing which surgery to have or having dieted for the majority of your life to constantly be back at square one... wls is not the easy way out, its a huge desicion... i think lovely you should be damm proud for the weightloss you've achieved through your hard work and determination alone! well done you xxx

 

[jaxx]

Has your sister seen the hard work you've put into losing weight? Ok you've had a tool to help you do this but you still did the work yourself and not only that, went through the surgery as well! Does she not realise that it was the only way you could have done this? That if you could have done it with diet and exercise you would have done that years ago?

Her way is obviously not the healthy way otherwise why would her doctor and chiropractor tell her to stop?

You've worked hard for your weight loss so enjoy it and don't allow your sister's jealously to make you feel guilty.

 

[phatmomma]

If only your sister had had an operation that she could well have not come out of the other side maybe then she wouldn't call it the 'easy way'.

Well done to your sister for losing weight the 'conventional' way and losing the weight... Let's revisit her in 2 years and see if she is still at that weight ay?

Support and love each other and when she gives you the sly comments just rise above it. You are wonderful, you look fabulous so balls to anyone who says any differently xx

 

[tiarasandtantrums]

Thanks ladies. I have to admit to feeling a little peeved that she couldn't appreciate my work. I'm pleased that she's lost her weight (although I find it quite remarkable that she decided to diet the very week that I was offered surgery). She is now at least a stone underweight and I am worried about her. However, she is an adult and I can't make her choices, I can only offer her support and that is exactly what I do. On the other hand, she just disparages all my efforts and results.

Maybe we should both just 'get over it' xx

 

[Neen]

Don't dismiss what you have achieved!!! It's OK to feel good you know!!! Embrace the feelings of self worth and enjoy being comfortable in your own skin at last! You've done it in the way that was right for you as an individual and what matters is you feel and look so much better now...you know it wasn't that easy and you have done your time with conventional dieting and doing it the hard way in the past and suffered more than enough!..you have learnt to eat well and exercise and as long as you have those two down for life now, it doesn't matter how you learnt them

 

[cherry]

i think thats best hun otherwise you ll only get yourself upset and angry about it, chin up xxxx

 

[Tracey ( eyore)]

Be proud of what you achieve and how you look hun..................you have done so well !!! a true inspiration.

Easy way out my a**e ! whats easy about the decision to go wls way, then deciding on which op to have, then all the appointments at hospital to convince them this is what you want and need, the pre-op diet then the op itself, the post op diets, and possibility of dumping ................

no you feel proud ......you have done great x

 

[jaffa_cake]

This is where I differ from everyone else because I do find it the easy way out!

I'm not saying its easy its just easier than any diet I have ever been on so for me it was the 'easy way out'

I find over weight people seem to have a problem that no-one can open their mouths to them without them taking offense to everything being said, my mum couldn't say anything about what food I was eating before I was jumping down her throat and going on a complete psycho!!

We all know that dieting is hard which is why everyone one of us has failed at it which is why we have went the wls route.........why.........because its easier than trying to stick to a diet, you can butter it up any way you want to but at the end of the day bands stop us from over eating and bypasses stop us from binging on sweet crap which is a hell of alot easier than us trying to tell ourselves ......dont eat that chocolate bar or packet of crisps or that 2nd helping of left over dinner

Its not easy i'll be the 1st to admit it, I always want more than what is on my plate...trying to eat it is a different story though so for me my band was the easier route than trying to stick to a diet with just will power alone.

No-one wants to put themselves through surgery and endless appointments but if it means we dont have to rely on willpower alone then its easier in my eyes

This is just my opinion obviously alot of you wont agree with me but we are all entitled to our opinions and this is just mine, I havn't said it to upset anyone its just how I see it

Jaffa

 

[ladylite]

So, my question is, should I feel guilty that I have 'taken the easy way out?' Or should I just revel in the fact that I am feeling so healthy for the first time in decades?

REVEL, REVEL AND REVEL SOME MORE. Be proud that you are feeling healther I know how you feel and it is a wonderful feeling and dont let anyone take that away including you sister.

I too agree with Jaffa Cake to me it is the easy way out and I am not at all ashamed to say it. It stops people in their tracks when I say it first if anyone comments of my fab weight loss. As I said in an early thread if I was on commission for selling this surgery I would be rich now.

Really enjoy your achievements and have a tiny bit of symphathy for your sister she is struggling inside really otherwise she would be soooo happy for you.

Well done on your fab weight loss.

 

[scottyav]

Yeh i took the easy way out 12 months on still after the op and poorly and still another 12 months of ops and recovery it makes me mad listening to muppets who say that pathetic statement, I've yoyo'd dieted for 20 years and some of us are not perfect and need a hand sometimes in the right direction, best years of my life being on life support for three months! like hell it was!

 

[jaffa_cake]

Yeh i took the easy way out 12 months on still after the op and poorly and still another 12 months of ops and recovery it makes me mad listening to muppets who say that pathetic statement, I've yoyo'd dieted for 20 years and some of us are not perfect and need a hand sometimes in the right direction, best years of my life being on life support for three months! like hell it was!

So I'm a muppet!

If you didn't think wls was easier than dieting alone you wouldn't have gone for it, if you cant diet alone and need wls its because it is going to make eating less that little bit easier!! obviously no-one expected you to have the problems you are now having, you are one of the unfortunate people that have problems after wls and obviously thats not easy no-one said it was

If the muppet statement was directed at me you have a cheek!! I am entitled to my opinion, i'm not going to lie and agree with others to make life easier on here, if someone asks a question I will answer it honestly and how 'I see it' not how I think others would like to see it

Jaffa

 

[StephieAck]

I have come to the conclusion that it doesnt matter HOW you do it, just that you HAVE done it and you are better for it. You KNOW that you havent taken the easy way out and nothing that anybody says will change that, even if everyone in the world said you have YOU know better.
So sod them!!! You are doing fab and have every right to feel fabulous and incredibly proud of yourself xx
Steph xx

 

[Kerry Jo]

I just think it sister rivalry, jealousy. You may be have been the fat sister (sorry don't mean any offense) and now your becoming slimmer she feels insecure (that was her pecking order.)
Also when she goes on about her doing it on her own, just say to her in the nicest possible way that your sleeve has made your tummy the same size as hers.
Your doing fantastic, don't let anyone bring you down. It doesn't matter how you get to goal as long as you get to goal and have improved your life and health xxx

 

[marky v]

easy way out? wouldn't go that far, but it has given me my will power back so i can stop when i've had enough instead of gorging....if i use it right, i shouldn't put my weight back on as easily, so i guess it is easier, but putting ourselves thro life threatening surgery to combat obesity, nah that's not easy, it takes alot to finally admit you have a problem, and deal with it once and for all, your sister's done brill, but it sounds like a touch of sibling jealousy in all honesty

 

[petshell]

if this is the easy way then i hate to think what the hard way is. This isthe hardest thing I have ever done. 12 weeks post op still ainly on stage 1 and 2 with occasional 4. THIS IS NO WAY AN EASY OPTION X
Shells

 

[yorkshirelass74]

Isnt it funny that people feel threatened when we start to lose weight. I read an article about a woman who had a bypass, and a couple of her friends disapproved, and when she actually got to be thinner than them, they actually fell out with her. They were quite happy for her to be their fat friend, but when she was no longer that, they wouldnt return her calls or invitations, or told her that they didnt agree with her surgery as it was "cheating".

I have been on my pre op diet since last Monday, and my mum also decided to start a diet on that day, she rings me daily to tell me how little she has had to eat that day. She also tells me that she thinks i am selfish by going through with the op and how i havent given any thought to the kids as i could die while on the operating table. Me thinks she may be one of these "threatened" people. Maybe she likes feeling thin when she stands next to me. I am not bothered what people think, life is too bloody short, you are either with me or not, you cant please everyone all of the time.
Rant over!!!
Mona
xxxx

 

[lamornamiss]

I have been on my pre op diet since last Monday, and my mum also decided to start a diet on that day, she rings me daily to tell me how little she has had to eat that day. She also tells me that she thinks i am selfish by going through with the op and how i havent given any thought to the kids as i could die while on the operating table. Me thinks she may be one of these "threatened" people. Maybe she likes feeling thin when she stands next to me. I am not bothered what people think, life is too bloody short, you are either with me or not, you cant please everyone all of the time.
Rant over!!!
Mona
xxxx

Would she consider it selfish if you died due to being overweight and had done nothing about it ????

 

[Priesty]

HI,

I get that from my Mum, that I did it the easy way and although she tries to sound positive about what I have done she seems to always have a way of making it sound (in Bridgit Jones's way) like a jellyfish complement. It stings and makes you feel like even though you are doing well your a failure for doing it the way you have.

I think in a few years time when you still look youthful and the younger sister maybe she will have to swallow her pride and admit you did it 'your way' and are better for it!!

Take Care

Paula XX

 

[encore]

I haven't found it easy but it was the only thing that worked for me once it was sorted out. I think a lot of pre ops think it will be easy. Look at the people upset that they don't lose loads after one fill.