You know what ?

[elffie01]

I must be the most selfish cow on this planet
Here I am moaning to myself and whining about getting an open surgery instead of lap surgery, went outside 5 mins ago and see a neighbour and her kids getting into a funeral car !
That has just given me the biggest smack in the face I could ever have had. I have never sat in tears because I am disgusted with myself but now I am as Im gutted and ashamed with my whole attitude.:cry:

 

[phatgirl]

Hun, there is nothing wrong with knowing what you want. I know I would have been discouraged if I was only given the option of open surgery, however it would have NEVER stopper me from going forward. The surgery has saved my life and given me back my health. I know that I would have willingly let them cut me open with 2 long cuts with Frankenstein's monster type stitches if that meant I could be where I am now!

Not wanting to have open surgery is understandable and does not make you a selfish cow but turning down your opportunity for surgery because of the type would be throwing away your best chance at a new life. Please don't do that!

Hugs,
Nic

 

[SOON SLIM SUE]

What happened to your neighbour is going to happen to all of us sooner or later and thats a fact.
I wouldn't say your selfish, you just know what you want and don't mind say so.this is just being human.



I'M SORRY I DIDN'T KNOW YOU DIDN'T HAve a choose, but they wouldn't offer you an opp if they didn't think it was worth it.

 

[elffie01]

thanks, I know what you mean Nic, it just hit home that Im worried about a poxy scar and it pales into comparision to some peoples issues.

Sue seems I dont have an option with the surgeon Im going to see on Thursday as he only does open. There is no way in hell Im letting anything postpone my op. I just hope he puts my mind at rest on Thursday

 

[SOON SLIM SUE]

i'm sure he will, these doctors are very clever people, and they have their reputation to think about. i'm sure he has done loads of these opps with compleat succsess (if not he wouldn't be allowed to perform these opps anymore).
good luck and keep in touch sue.

 

[Twiggie]

thanks, I know what you mean Nic, it just hit home that Im worried about a poxy scar and it pales into comparision to some peoples issues.

People often say there's always somebody worse off than you! and yes, that may be true but knowing it doesn't make make you feel any better about it. At least that's my philosophy on the matter

Just because there are other people in the world in more pain and suffering than you, it doesn't make your pain or suffering any the less!

 

[Bonita]

Elffie its more than a poxy scar though isn't it. If there is a chance that you can get this surgery done via a lap then my advice is to push for it because its a lot safer all round that way.

Also don't feel guilty about wanting whats best for you, whats happening with your neighbour is sad but it comes to us all at some point.

What would be wrong however is to not make the most of the opportunities that are presented us in life, so if this surgery as Nic says gives you the chance of a better life in the long run and its what you really want then you must go for it and not feel guilty about anyone else.

WLS is a journey that (with the help of your bariatric team) you and you alone must take, so you really should only be thinking about yourself right now.

 

[marky v]

thanks, I know what you mean Nic, it just hit home that Im worried about a poxy scar and it pales into comparision to some peoples issues.

Sue seems I dont have an option with the surgeon Im going to see on Thursday as he only does open. There is no way in hell Im letting anything postpone my op. I just hope he puts my mind at rest on Thursday

it's me again, the bearer of bad news :wave_cry::wave_cry:

i will say that i could be wrong, he may offer the surgery via keyhole, but from when i asked him if i was having keyhole or open he said open as he saw it as safer, i quote from his letter to me

''I prefer the open to the laproscopic bypass on the basis of lower re-operation rate for complications, particularly anastomotic stricture and leakage, although i have stressed that this is a personal view, but based on safety''

just make sure you ask him lots of questions, i feel really bad now as my experiences with him, altho fantastic have soured yours so far, i must admit i ideally wanted laproscopic surgery, but when told open, thought, well beggars can't be choosers, a 6-8 inch scar on my belly is a small price to pay for my well being and better health

here's a bunch of flowers to try and cheer you up :flowers::flowers::flowers:

 

[lamornamiss]

elffie01
Sorry for the slap earlier :hug99:Hope you are feeling ok now

I think i am going to need a tummy tuck when i lose my weight and they cut an inverted T so either way i will have a scar, but like my strech marks it will tell the journey of my life and how hard it was to get there.
Some of my friends have had their c section scars tattooed one had a zip fastner done and it looks great she said it celebrated the birth of her son without it he wouldn't be here
I was thinking of having something the same done with my WLS scar.
Hope you feel more positive now
LUVS YA

 

[phatmomma]

Your not been selfish wanting laporoscopically as opposed to open! But as others before me have said, explore the options but if you have to have it open then wear your scar with pride. It's a reminder to you of where you let your body take you to both physically and emotionally but also its a key to a new life.

As for your neighbour and her poor kids heading off to a funeral, that is also a message. Take life by the balls and grab it and don't let go. Take back your life and achieve all that you want and all that you can be.....

But most of all...............enjoy the ride, cos life is a one trip ride!

 

[elffie01]

thanks all I will hold out and ask on thursday. I dont want to delay the process any longer but Im not making any decisions till he says No.

Marky no worries I would have found out soon enough lol. I did ring and speak to Louise his secretary and she says he only does them open I hope he does make exceptions, seems a bit strange him being one of the top UK surgeons and not offering open.

Ill let you all know on thursday, thanks for the words of wisdom

 

[marky v]

Take life by the balls and grab it and don't let go.

let your hubby know 1st tho!!

 

[elffie01]

elffie01
Sorry for the slap earlier :hug99:Hope you are feeling ok now

I think i am going to need a tummy tuck when i lose my weight and they cut an inverted T so either way i will have a scar, but like my strech marks it will tell the journey of my life and how hard it was to get there.
Some of my friends have had their c section scars tattooed one had a zip fastner done and it looks great she said it celebrated the birth of her son without it he wouldn't be here
I was thinking of having something the same done with my WLS scar.
Hope you feel more positive now
LUVS YA

thanks hun i needed a slap tbh. funny thing is i was thinking about the scar this aft and I know Im getting a new tattoo when the surgery is over to celebrate, but i had seen a tattoo on someone in a mag the other day of daisies and thought it would be nice to have a daisy chain, maybe that can cover it and I'll feel better. Was thinking of one flower for every stone lost or something like that.. Anyhow we shall see on Thursday

And if he offers me a date Im asking for the 24th Aug so I can fling Marky round the carpark in a wheelchair for causing me stress !!!

 

[elffie01]

let your hubby know 1st tho!!

haha im not sure he would agree with that one lol

 

[lamornamiss]

You might find that they only do it open because of the cost
You could ask him if you could pay the difference and have keyhole(i know someone has asked this before on another thread but can't remember which one)

 

[lamornamiss]

found it cut and paste this

www.minimins.com/.../78406-how-much-extra-does-keyhole-cost-can-you-pay-difference-yourself.html -

 

[thinkbethin]

Elffie you're not selfish just concerned for yourself. This being how must of us have felt at one stage or another. Having a scar from the weight loss surgery is something I'm proud of (even though I had keyhole) because this is the birth mark of a new life for me. Its a "badge" to say "I took control of my life" and did something about my weight.

 

[elffie01]

thanks Wendy going to have a nosey at that in a min.

Gaynor - i never thought of it like that to be honest. Makes you think though,nice thought for a scar lol. Thanks
I think Im definately going to see what he says but Im not going to say no to surgery over a scar. Need to look into it more and if i do have open then I need a tattoo lol

 

[thinkbethin]

Good for you Elffie. If it has to be open then so be it!! If you need this op (and obviously you do) then don't stress over a scar that can be covered if need be. Good luckxx