Still not being totally honest

[ceecie74]

You're right Frankie, my best friend thinks I'm beautiful and says she just wants me to lose enough to be fit and active. I know she's not jealous or worried, she's 5ft9 and a size10!! Lol

My mother on the other hand, she's 21 stone and I witnessed her buying in more food and cooking all my favourite meals each time I went on a diet!! When I told her I was having WLS, she said "oh it would be nice if you could get down to a size 24! (She's size 22). Every time we talk about her weight and need to lose some for a knee op, she's says, "oh it's alright for you, you've had the bypass!! You couldn't do it on your own!! "

Charming eh!!

It's amazing how weight affects us women socially and how we seem to be lower in the pecking order the fatter we get. I don't understand women......whatever happened to sisterhood, support and mutual respect.

I've also noticed slim women flirting with my partner right in front of me, he is gorgeous and 6ft6, BUT COME ON!! It's embarresing! Even much older women look at me and sneer before they turn and bat their eyelashes at him!

One thing I hope; if I ever get to a point where I am "slim", I don't suddenly think I'm the bees knees and start treating other women like crap!!

X

 

[Lincs Lass]

One thing I hope; if I ever get to a point where I am "slim", I don't suddenly think I'm the bees knees and start treating other women like crap!!

X

I don't think you will - you sound much too nice for that.

I have to admit that as the weight has come off I have been eyeing up the local talent from afar (hmmmm, in this town that SURE don't take long!!!) but I am an affirmed singleton and would never dream of judging them, their partners or their relationships based on looks. Just a little bit of window shopping

 

[Yvessa]

I think we forget they've seen us start a new diet every month. We've lost a stone and then regained or whatever. And in a way, particularly with family they're managing their own expectations.

 

[Emma7799]

I think we forget they've seen us start a new diet every month. We've lost a stone and then regained or whatever. And in a way, particularly with family they're managing their own expectations.

I agree yvessa - I've lost almost 4 stone now and it's only my closest friends who've commented and supported - work colleagues not said a word about my weight loss.

 

[ceecie74]

I think we forget they've seen us start a new diet every month. We've lost a stone and then regained or whatever. And in a way, particularly with family they're managing their own expectations.

That's true Yve, I didn't consider that. They've seen all the highs and lows for 20 odd years!! Must be exhausting! Fortunately my parents they have gone to NZ for the winter, so haven't seen me since pre-op. hopefully they will have a nice surprise when they come back in April

 

[Dandelions]

Go for it ladies!!! The FAT is YOURS to lose!!!!

CHEESEY QUOTE;

"Nobody put's Baby in a corner!"

Now I know this is far from serious, but the ISSUE IS!!!!

Our friends like us fat!!!! We are safe, reliable and NEVER CHANGE!!!

HELL NO!!! NOT ANYMORE!!

This is sooooo true! One of my dearest friends said to me the other day that I wouldnt be 'me' if I lost anymore weight. I understand why she feels like this as when one of my friends lost several stone I found it difficult to relate to her anymore cus her personality changed. I knew it was my stuff and worked on it to make things right between us.

I've been the fat one with the pretty face for as long as I can remember. Both sisters were quite high profile child models and I was the ugly duckling/black sheep/odd one out for one reason only - I was fat. Always compared to my younger sisters, wasnt allowed to do ballet cus too fat. Couldnt go horse riding, unable to wear pretty pink dresses, always got the french navy 'smart' dress etc. Had to cover up my bottom with long baggy tops cus it was too big.....

Ok erm rant over

I'm not safe, not reliable, have changed and no-one would put this baby in the corner now :8855:

 

[ceecie74]

YESSSSSS!! LOVE IT!!

 

[Yvessa]

Also, one thing we do is we look at our slim friends and assume they're all tiny - if we look carefully actually many of them are also technically overweight. And so to them we do look slim and done, because they don't realise they're overweight. Remember that the average size for a woman in the UK is 16, and I would have killed to be a 16 when I was a 38.

 

[femfrankie]

Also, one thing we do is we look at our slim friends and assume they're all tiny - if we look carefully actually many of them are also technically overweight. And so to them we do look slim and done, because they don't realise they're overweight. Remember that the average size for a woman in the UK is 16, and I would have killed to be a 16 when I was a 38.

So true Yve

 

[Dilligaf]

I think a lot of the time, the comments are out of genuine concern. Sure, some are tinged with jealousy but not all: I've been overweight all my adult life (and most of my childhood, too), so my family, friends and colleagues have never seen me as anything but overweight. For them, seeing the change I'm going through is hard to get their heads around. My weight has reduced drastically in a short timeframe and when I look at side-by-side photos myself, I realise that I now look tiny in comparison so it must be even harder for them to take in.

I reckon many of them really do think I have lost more than enough weight because it's such a radical change but whenever I get the "don't lose any more" comments, I just point out that I'm working with a qualified nutritionist and surgeon, and they helped me set my goal.

 

[Jenny196]

I have now lost almost 4 stone and gone from a size20, to a very comfortable 14. I still have another 2 stone to lose, most of my close friends tell me how amazing I look now and that my goal is not too far ahead and that I can do it. But a few of them look me up and down and say things like 'oh there will be nothing left of you, that's too much to lose'. My 'real' reason for having the surgery was to get healthy, not skinny. I've never been skinny and probably never will be, and im ok with that. I had to have a lot of therapy for a eating disorder before the surgery and this more than anything has helped me get my head in the right space. Jealously is a nasty emotion, (one that im sure we have all been guilty of at some point), but you have to just think that you are in control of how you react to other people, but you can't control how other people feel, that's on them. Yes we have all been the 'fat friend' and they are comfortable with where we fit in, and our weight loss now changes our standing. It will make some people uncomfortable, especially if it means they are now the 'fat one' of a group. Just remember why you did it, the goals you set are in agreement with your doctor/nutritionalist, and are very achievable. Go out there and get them!! When I started my journey I said I was excited to start a new life, and that might mean i will lose a few friends along the way, then so be it. I believe people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime, and I will value them all, but that doesn't mean I have to listen to everything they say.

Good luck and I look forward to seeing your pics when you've reached your goal x

 

[WeightlossDreamer]

sue i just think you need to do what you feel makes you happy. Our goals are all personal to us. I dont think you should have to defend or lie for yourself because you want to be at a healthy weight. That choice lies with you. I know my mum wont want me to be much smaller than a size 14 but i am determined that this time i will reach a healthy weight and maintain. I have to be a healthy weight if i want to have a chance of having a baby. In my eyes this is my new life it is not a diet but a change in the way i live my life, and i am choosing to invest in myself because actually i'm worth something and i would like to be here for as long as i can! Sorry rant done! x

 

[princess4d4]

everyone just has to do what is comfortable for them and not worry what others say life would be boring if we all set the same goals we would just be like clones do we want to be clones no we want to be individuals so we set our own goals woth that in mind i may or may not hit say 16 stone or whatever but i will reach what i do decide in the future for what is best for me so just do the same forget the doubters and the green eyed monsters

 

[2nd timer]

I had lots of encouragement when I went from almost 20 stones to 13 previously with the band. Ppl knew n I told them I wanted to stay me n not be a stick as I'm tall. I was soooo happy n had a tummy tuck n lipo on stubborn bits. Size 14 n happy..
Once band was removed fir medical reasons, long story, I put it all back on suddenly, even without eating a great deal. Not one person has commented on my enormous weight gain to my face, they better not or they had better run fast ! Suddenly ppl are supportive of me losing weight again. Perhaps ppl are more understanding some times but don't know what to say? Or fear me bursting into tears?
This is me after I lost my weight...



This is me as I start my milk diet ((( so sad....




So folks, just do your own thing n don't let anyone or anything get in the way of your body decisions, unless ur unlucky like I was... Nw on the losing side again, hooray!!!

previous bander, now awaiting by pass or sleeve this year.

 

[borogirl]

Hi it's started happening to me now. I am a 14 now but happy at that and don't want to loose anymore because of my skin. Still it's funny to here people telling me I would look ill if I lost anymore, but they would hate to he a 14!
My parents and hubby are begging me not to loose weight but they do have my best interests at heart. Funny though because my mam is horrified to be 2 stone heavier than me and she is on a major diet!
My friends are very slim bar 1, but she is pregnant at the moment and has watched her weight throughout her pregnancy. She is conscious I am now smaller and is very focused on her weight.
I mainly get from people at work that I look great now but my face will get drawn if I loose anymore and it will she me. Charming! I am 38!!!

 

[Bookie]

The way I see it, I wil lbe 51 at my next birthday, so whether fat me or slim me, the days of being fresh-faced and young-looking are gone, so might as well be slim to make up for it!

 

[femfrankie]

The way I see it, I wil lbe 51 at my next birthday, so whether fat me or slim me, the days of being fresh-faced and young-looking are gone, so might as well be slim to make up for it!

My sentiments too except in nearly 53 xx

 

[princess4d4]

im gonna be 47 this year and prob by the end of it hope to be the thinnest i been for prob half of them years

 

[ceecie74]

I'm 40 in July and hope to be lighter than I ever have been in my adult life x

 

[ceecie74]

I'm