3 years post op and feel like a complete failure

[deepblue]

As the title says. I had my Gastric bypass three years ago and the first two years I had ups and downs but did well but this last year the weight loss stoped and apeitie returned big time.
I have no feeling of restriction and dont feel full anymore infact I find myself craving foods I dont even like.
I have completley fell out with my bariatric team who to be honest had been fantatstic up untill stopped looosing weight and now feel like a door has been shut in my face.
Its been ages since I posted on here but my lifes falling appart and I am hopeing somone can give me words of encouragment or some advice on getting myself motivated

 

[chrisa]

This is what worries me most I am almost 1 year post and am terrified of going back to where i started, I can sympatise with you and do understand, do you still only eat small amounts even though you dont feel any restriction? or are you eating like you used to, I have had cravings for a while now and am struggling to control them, if i give in just have very small amount, then feel guilty tho. I don't count calories just eat sensibly n try have fruit n veg each day 6 proteins 2-3 carbohydrates. x

 

[Bellydancer57]

Do you feel like getting back on the wagon? What about joining. Slimming world or weight watchers group to get started again with healthy eating & weight loss. It is too hard to do it on your own. Groups give great support. You know a problem shared is a polem halved. You have had success before so no reason why you can't in the future. Have you seen your GP, can he refer you back to another hospital to look at your weight issues? Dare I say is there any hope of making up with your bariatric team. They are professionals & do understand that we have major issues sometime. Aim for little successes don't try to run it. Think of how it felt when you lost weight. Listen to me amateur pschycologit not. Good luck.

 

[shelleymarie]

Oh deepblue, I really feel for you. This is my worse fear and I'm sure it was yours too. The thing is it is not too late, there are things you can do. First I would ring your team or write to them if it is easier and ask if they stop helping people who have gained weight as a rule as this is a time when you really need their help. Keep a diary of everything you eat and have a sit down with a dietician. If you team won't help you go to your doctors, ask them to refer you to a dietician and talk to them about counselling or cbt to help get to the issues that are causing you to over eat again. I feel once the initial weight loss slows down and people aren't experiences the highs of rapid loss any more, the old issues have a real possibility of creaping back in if they are not dealt with. This isn't anything to beat yourself up about, but it is something that you can take action to get back on top of things. Have you ever been to your local wls support group? speaking face to face with other people who have been through the same things might help too. Also have you heard of the five day pouch test? there are several posts about it on the forum, if you type it into the search section you should find a link to it. That can help test to see if you have any restriction left and help reset things.

This really isn't the end of your weight loss, you obviously really want to get back in the swing of things so that drive will help you find something that works for you. I know someone who lost all her weight through a bypass and then put on 60lbs but she has lost it again because she got some extra help. I think the thing is to keep positive and don't give up because it's not over yet. Best of luck to you x

 

[deepblue]

Thanks guys I realy want back on the waggon and have made roads to joining one of the local diet groups I am going to try again with my bariatric team but in all honesty its one of them that just seems to be hell bent on making me feel like crap

 

[chrisa]

Deep blue i hope you get all the help you deserve and more keep fighting and i will try and stay on track so that i don't end up down the same road, we have all come to far to start going backwards, onward sand upwards from now on. Chin up move forward, do what you have to get the help speak to the team tell them how people are making you feel. x

 

[Tracey1404]

I feel your sorrow, if you look at my join date it is 2009 when this site was part of another larger site. I started then at 18 stone, lost almost 5 stone on Cambridge Diet then put all back on plus another 4 stone. I watched others despair at me, but never more than I did of myself. Our choices are simple, change or remain unchanged. Like you I did not want to give up on me, so I have had a band fitted and I'm back to work my way to a slimmer, fitter me. Failure is just unrealised success ..... Go for it. Tracey xxx

 

[vanessawhinn]

Do the 5 day pouch test I can gaurentee that u will get restriction back after that

 

[CCPM]

Hi Deepblue

I'm 3.5 years out and can understand exactly where you are. This year has been the hardest by far for me just like you and it gets harder as restriction is not brilliant anymore. Its a head job now more than restriction alone. You don't say where you are in your weight loss not in actual weight but in terms of amount you want to lose and whether you made it to your target weight and then regained. These things I think can all make up our psychological feelings regarding further losses. I did lose all my weight and now struggle with 1-1.5 stones regain. I haven't let it go above that ...YET!! and hope I never will but any amount to lose is still a struggle, although I've done it successfully twice.

Like you I do it alone my team despite being one of the best in the country never followed me up unless I pushed and pushed so am like you struggling on alone. Going to a diet club may help as suggested because it makes you accountable but I think depends on the individual and key is not just doing it while you lose but doing it every day for the rest of your life. Sad but true and never got there yet. Also for all wlsers its a case of trying to remember the basics rules, protein first etc and cut out the rubbish. I read 'the world according to eggface' on the internet (she's 6 years out and very successful) and something she said stuck in my mind which was that yes she religiously sticks to the food she has planned and nothing more, she says she is often hungry but that's it she ignores it. Thats my problem when I can get to that place I'll be fine. Until then I struggle, I don't like being hungry and I hate planning. BUT I know that I MUST to really succeed.

Good luck with getting back on track you can do it, your pouch will help some but your head is now your most effective tool and boy is that a hard one.

M

 

[sukay]

As the title says. I had my Gastric bypass three years ago and the first two years I had ups and downs but did well but this last year the weight loss stoped and apeitie returned big time.
I have no feeling of restriction and dont feel full anymore infact I find myself craving foods I dont even like.
I have completley fell out with my bariatric team who to be honest had been fantatstic up untill stopped looosing weight and now feel like a door has been shut in my face.
Its been ages since I posted on here but my lifes falling appart and I am hopeing somone can give me words of encouragment or some advice on getting myself motivated

I feel very similar to you

I am also around 3 years post op - have put on two stone in past two years. No restriction. Hosp doesn't see me now, appointments are over 8 months apart and as I had to miss one in January due to ill health, the next one sent was for this month, which they have postponed and now I have no idea when I will be going. Basically feel that they've lost interest due to my lack of a good result

having to have gall bladder removed in October with another bariatric team who say they will help me after that......

 

[Sharonimo]

I have completley fell out with my bariatric team who to be honest had been fantatstic up untill stopped looosing weight and now feel like a door has been shut in my face.

Deepblue,

Most bariatric teams only follow up for 2 years (unless complications develop like hernias etc). The Whittington told me they follow up for 2 years which I was quite pleased about -- in my mind I am thinking "year 1" to check that you get the weight off, and "year 2" to check that you maintain ..... but that ignores what happens to patients in years 3, 5, 10 and beyond.

However, I know that at the Whittington they do quite a lot of "revision" surgeries for patients who have lost restriction in either their sleeve or their bypass. As far as I am aware they are not too judgmental about it -- if after 2 or 3 years it is clear that a person has put back on a large amount and is nearly back up to their op weight, The Whittington take action.

My advice would be rather than approach your bariatric team direct, go back to the starting point:

(1) Go back to your GP and ask for a completely NEW referral for weight loss surgery. Your stats on your profile make it quite clear you are back above 300 lbs and a BMI above 50 -- you will qualify.

(2) You might be asked to do an extra weight management or psych assessment due to having had one previous surgery -- just go thru all the steps, turn up at all the appointments and you will be in the system and on your way to getting your second (revision) surgery.

I would not advise you "slimming world" or any of those options in your circumstances -- the slimming clubs (WW, SW or Conley etc) can be useful when things are going well and help patients who are *already* losing keep doing so and help with their accountability.

My advice at 3 years post op, would be to start from scratch as a NEW weight loss surgery referral (because diet clubs never helped me when I was over 300 lbs and had a large stomach with no restriction so I cannot imagine they would help you a great deal either).


There are several surgery "revision" options available to someone who has had a previous bypass (which may now be quite large and not the neat little pouch it once was):

(1) band over bypass ("Bob")
(2) re-make the pouch and add a fobi ring at the bottom
(3) just surgically "tighten" the pouch

Please please investigate these options with your GP (a new GP if you have to and possibly even a new bariatric team.)

 

[amanda577]

your post sharonimo has helped me enormously, as although only at the beginning of my bypass, I have wondered what would happen if it doesn't work, or if like deepblue I lose and then regain. It is so reassuring to know that there are revisions that can be done. I hope that this reassures you also deepblue xxx

 

[chrissy100]

Deepblue.... I don't know which diet you had to do before your surgery, Milk or the low colorie. But Have you thought of doing that for 2 weeks to try and kick start you again? Plus it may well shrink your pouch a little. You could then do the Slimming World (or which ever slimming club) diet to keep the weight loss going.

It was just a thought.... I hope you get back on track soon.

Keep posting, we are all here behind you and to help in any way we can.

((( Big hugs)))

 

[Big an Bouncy]

The thing is the surgery didnt fail,it has worked and it can again,get to a weight management or slimming world to get motivated again.
Look at what you are eating and when.
Cut carbs and slider foods,you know what is bad for you and only eat protien first.once a leg of chicken is in there isnt much room for anything else,two hours later do the same.keep topped up with good stuff so the bad stuff has no room!
Go back to drinking lots of water in between meals.
Snack on fruit and raw veg.
Get moving,we all start with good intentions,are you still exersizing?no me neither!
Going back to basics will get you off and running and make your pouch work again.Best of luck.Maz x

 

[gdlondon]

I can understand how you feel. When I started to put on a bit of weight, I went for only home cooked meals. Reduced the carbs and focus on meat on vegetables and it worked.

Good luck

 

[Fuffs]

My trust won't do any revision or secondary surgery unless the first op 'failed'.

So a failed/slipped band, bypass that doesn't restrict etc.

And even those people have to fight.

I think for most people its a case of having to get your motivation back. Easier said than done I know.

It's good to know some trusts are better on the revision front.

Good luck with sorting through all this. I really feel for you xxx

 

[amanda577]

I am definitely going to look into what my pct policy is for revisions etc just in case... Would be nice to know that there are options if surgery fails for some reason... Really hope you can find a way forward with this deepblue xx

 

[Fuffs]

I am definitely going to look into what my pct policy is for revisions etc just in case... Would be nice to know that there are options if surgery fails for some reason... Really hope you can find a way forward with this deepblue xx

If you lose weight and gain some back. That won't be considered a failure. Its only WLS 'malfunctions' that seem to be considered failed ops.

 

[amanda577]

well I suppose we all pray that we don't have a wls malfunction, but still, would be nice to know their policy just in case xx

 

[Fuffs]

well I suppose we all pray that we don't have a wls malfunction, but still, would be nice to know their policy just in case xx

Yeah defo. Always good to be armed with info for all eventualities