A Depressed Kurvy Karen is back

[kurvykaren]

Hi Guys

I just wanted to say thank you for all your kind wishes and messages of support.

I am feeling really low, fed up, tearful and pee'd off. I feel like I'm in agony from a few holes in my stomach for no good reason, but I'm trying to convince myself that whatever comes back on the liver biopsy it's a good thing to know now rather than it never have being detected.

Thankfully there's not much shopping in the house as we were prepared for the post-surgery diet so I can't stuff myself with something nice to make myself feel better.

Lee is doing ok, he's thankful to be home and has been asleep since 10pm last night, just glad to get a proper night sleep without the nurses waking him every 2 hours to monitor his blood sugar levels so I'm leaving him to sleep as long as he wants.

I love Lee with all my heart and I'm not resentful that he's had his op but I can't help feeling jealous as he's in the place I wanted to be. I'm also trying not to be upset in front of him as I want him to recover well and not be worrying about me, I must admit I'm sitting here with tears running down my face right now before I put on my cheerful mask for when Lee gets up. I know this would annoy him too if he knew what I was doing but my priority is making sure he's ok first.

Mr Koak the surgeon did tell me that once the biopsy is back in 2-3 weeks and I see him again he should rebook my surgery for about 6 weeks later, but I'll have to do the pre-op for a full month beforehand again, so I'm going to try not to undo the good that I had done before. The official explanantion was that I have an enlarged liver with fatty infilltration, (he did say that I'd done well on the pre-op and it wasn't my fault) and it also showed multiple nodules up to 2cm big and early signs of cirrhosis so they had to weigh up the risk of continuing with the surgery and decided against it.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll get my head in a better place soon, and out of the 'Why does it have to happen to me' and I pray that I will be on that losers bench in a few months.

Maz - I'm glad your surgery went well.

Sorry for dumping all this on you guys.

Take care and love to you all

x x x x

 

[tranquil_butterfly]

I feel for you. Please do not lose heart. I hope the results come back positive and you get your op shortly. Hopefully by the time you are done and dusted hubby will be feeling a lot better and it will be his turn to look after you as you are doing for him right now. You will get lots of encouragement and support here and I am sure no one will mind you coming here and venting as much as you want.

The disappointment is hard to get to grips with right now. I know how I felt when I had my op and they could not do the bypass. At least they have explained what happened and are doing all they can to help resolve this quickly. Just give yourself time and try and rest as much as you can.

Best wishes

tranquil x

 

[Bev]

Hello Karen,

You have been uppermost in my mind and on the forum all week. I'm so disappointed too that there has been this delay.

I'm praying, hoping and willing a good result and then a new date for you very soon indeed.

We are always at your side and as Tranquil says, it's painful when we hit delays and disappointments, particularly after all of that preparation that you went through.

Sending a humungous hug and also to hubby, thinking of you both and wishing you both the very best of Everything.

Love and hugs Angel xxx

 

[dottychic]

Aww Karen dont feel bad for being upset, we would all feel exactly the same! We are all here to support you whenever you need us (((HUGS))) XX

 

[RoseA]

Don't be sorry for "dumping" on us - that's what we're here for ! I'm glad hubby is home and on his way to recovery but I understand how hard it must be, that something you thought you'd be doing together, hasn't happened yet. I say yet, because you WILL have your op in a few weeks, and what's a few weeks when you have the rest of your lives to enjoy your WLS journey together ?

Keep yourself focussed on the prize and come here whenever you need a shoulder... Take care Karen xx

 

[sugga]

Hello Karen iv just been reading up on the forum and come across this...am i right in thinking that you went down for surgery but they couldnt do it?

I am so sorry to this if its true and can understand totally why you would feel as you do. How terrible for you darling and i like the others I feel sure you will get to have your op in a few weeks time and it is better that they detected it now rather than later....life is tuff but im sure you will look back and see that it was just a little blip.

Thinking of you love and will do what i can to support you along the way. Huggs to you. xxxx

 

[Deets]

aww Karen cant imagine how you're feeling I hope the results come back in your favour and you can have the surgery soon. Hopefully by then, the other half will be up and about and he'll be able to attend to your every need x

 

[jo86]

Sounds like you have had a terrible time i hope they can go ahead with your surgery and you partner/husband?? makes a full recovery xx

 

[von]

I do so feel for you. You must be feeling very cheated and frustrated as well as the worry.

The only consolation I can possibly think of is that at least when you come home form your op, your OH will be there to take tender loving care of you as he'll be recovered from his surgery.

Thinking of you and bless you.

 

[Big an Bouncy]

Thinking of you hun,to be honest it may be a blessing in disguise,I dont know how you would of coped both feeling like I have the last 3 days.You will get your surgery and then the summer will be ours!Love to Lee.Maz x

 

[RoseA]

Maz is right - that occurred to me too. I just couldn't have managed without hubby's support after my op. Now you can be there for each other. xx

 

[zns]

You poor thing. I think its a good thing that they found it and have done whats best for you by stopping and biopsying. Its not going to feel like that to you for a while Im sure. Hopefully they results are back soon an you can carry on with your journey. Take care of yourself. Maybe see your GP to talk it over as that may help a bit x

 

[ravelling]

Karen, you must feel terrible, but I'm sure it will all be for the best in the end.
You need to allow yourself time to be emotional about this as well as being strong for Lee. Regardless of the outcome, you still had an aesthetic and surgery, which will make you feel very low and emotionally vulnerable. Add to that the worry and disappointment and it would be very odd if you weren't feeling low. Take time to take care of yourself too.
There is always lots of support here.
Gill
x

 

[Sarah Metcalf]

Huge hugs Karen, you must feel so disappointed. As the other ladies have mentioned, the upside of this is that you'll have hubby around to look after you post op, as well as receiving any treatment required on your liver. xx

 

[Linski]

Aw Karen I so feel for you. All I can say is hubby will be a dab hand by the time yours gets the go ahead and he will be there for you. You are entitled to be dissapointed and p***d off life has dished you an unfair blow. You know what though? You need to be in tip top condition to have the best chance of this bypass working to change your life. Hang on in there sweetie and I pray your tests come back soon and you get your date. Spoil that hubby of yours and you be able to call the debt in and more when your time comes lol! Seriously Karen all the very best to you.

Linski xxx

 

[emma ruth]

huge hugs and kisses hope results come back fine and you get what you want xxxx

 

[kurvykaren]

Guys - thanks so much for all your lovely messages of support.
I received a letter today to see the surgeon about the biopsy on 18 March, so 3 weeks to wait.
And I've had a good chat to my lovely hubby Lee today who's so supportive and trying to cheer me up, telling me at least I'll be off recovering from my bypass when it happens when the weather is nicer!
I know I'm going to have good days and bad days for the next few weeks but with Lee and all my friends at home and on here I'll get through it.

Love and best wishes to you all xxx

 

[keeley86]

heya hun - so sorry that your op didnt go ahead but least your well enough to be able to look after hubby and by the time your op comes around he will be well enough to look after you too so there is a bonus in this situation!
i hope and pray that everything comes back ok for you and your surgery goes ahead without any further problems!
thinking of you luv. keep ya chin up, it will happen! xxx

 

[Rebirth]

Karen, just sending you lots of hugs. Hope the biopsy doesn't show anything too drastic and that you will be joining us on the loser's bench soon. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

love and hugs
Rebirthxx

 

[sugga]

Thinking of you today Karen. xxx