After all this time..still feel awkward being trendy!..does your head ever catch up?

[emma-louise]

With this warmer weather we have had I now rub my hands with delight,as I can wear a dress!
Before my bypass this was something I would never dare do,being a size 24/26 a dress=tent for me.
So I had to spend many many warmer days in sweaty hot jeans and my thighs rubbing together...no fun!
The feeling of air circulating around the body is great!

Anyway...I bought a trendy midi dress a bit ago..nice I thought but don't know if I've got the guts to wear it.
I told myself "this is a skinny Minnie's" dress I'll just save it just incase.
Well I was going shopping with the kids and my partner,and it's warm...mmmmmm have I got the guts to wear that dress I ask myself.
I normally wear maxi dresses as they cover all my " bits of loose jelly skin" on my legs and belly,my arms are quite good as I've been lucky(thank god)

Ok..I'm gonna be brave and put it on...looked for a fat suit to smooth out the jelly belly and thigh area,put a nice longer necklace on and found some little sandals.
Looked in mirror and thought "that's not me"
I walk downstairs wondering what my partner response would be..lol
He looked and said "wow" he said I looked great.

I mentioned to yvessa on another thread,whilst out wearing this dress,even though it was nice to wear I felt awkward and thinking people thought I was "too fat" to wear something slinky and trendy as this.
But why can't except I'm not big anymore I'm fitting in size 12/14 sometimes small clothes..whilst out shopping I found a "monsoon" strapless trouser all in one in small.
And it was gorgeous (very African looking) if I fit into this how can I still be big?
I think when I look in the mirror I see my loose skin so it's harder to get your head round to being able to fit into smaller clothes with the excess skin.
And I'm never have plastics,had enough of operations,and I couldn't afford it anyway.

I've noticed just recently people on the forum talking a lot about trying to except your new smaller size,and it's very hard not to still see that "fat" person looking back.
Another lady posted does it get easy with time excepting your new size?
Well I'm 4 years in sept and I'm still struggling at times,like I said to yvessa,it's still very surreal at times.
I never ever thought I'd see the day I could walk out into the world wearing a midi dress.

 

[Butterfly_lady]

I'm only 6 months out and still a size 16/18 but I still do things I really don't need to do like when I come out of my shower cubicle I poke my head out first then my boobs them my belly then my bum and lastly my legs :8855: I also walk thru the utility room door sideways as thats the only way I used to be able to fit in (its on an angle)

 

[Lincs Lass]

I am now a size 16 and being (genuinely!!!!) big boned I won't get to the 12's etc but I struggle not so much with 'can I wear' but 'should I wear'.

I'm 46 years old (as of midnight!) and spent Saturday in London with my 15 year old son (We saw Miss Saigon ...... fabulous!) and with it being warm I wore knee length cropped trousers, mid sleeved t shirt, flat shoes etc but spent half the time asking my son if I looked ok ......... because I just don't know what middle aged, thinnish women wear.

I know anybody has the right to wear whatever they want (did struggle to be charitable about the portly gentleman in Leicester Square who was wearing tight denim shorts, braces, sandals and nothing else) but I'm a wallflower so happy to be unseen

 

[ThinnerJemima]

Same here, even though I'm a bag of bones at the moment. I've found it easier to see the smaller me since I had my skin done. But I have now done full circle, used to wear tents to hide my lard, now have just bought some loose summery (and short) dresses from Primark to hide my thinness

 

[emma-louise]

I am now a size 16 and being (genuinely!!!!) big boned I won't get to the 12's etc but I struggle not so much with 'can I wear' but 'should I wear'. I'm 46 years old (as of midnight!) and spent Saturday in London with my 15 year old son (We saw Miss Saigon ...... fabulous!) and with it being warm I wore knee length cropped trousers, mid sleeved t shirt, flat shoes etc but spent half the time asking my son if I looked ok ......... because I just don't know what middle aged, thinnish women wear. I know anybody has the right to wear whatever they want (did struggle to be charitable about the portly gentleman in Leicester Square who was wearing tight denim shorts, braces, sandals and nothing else) but I'm a wallflower so happy to be unseen

Sorry I did laugh when you said you asked your son all night if you looked ok,
This is what I was doing to my teenage daughter all day and my partner!..lol
Glad you enjoyed watching miss Saigon I love shows!

 

[emma-louise]

Same here, even though I'm a bag of bones at the moment. I've found it easier to see the smaller me since I had my skin done. But I have now done full circle, used to wear tents to hide my lard, now have just bought some loose summery (and short) dresses from Primark to hide my thinness

I hope you get things sorted jemima you've got it tough x
Wish I could afford plastics really,but on saying that I couldn't face anymore operations.
Due to me having problems since my bypass hospital visits is my 2nd home x

 

[emma-louise]

Well...I've done it again and bought something I wonder if I've the guts to wear..lol
My partner tells me to stop being silly,and I'm not big anymore..I wonder if our heads ever catch up?

 

[Yvessa]

Emotional Consequences of Weight Loss - Weight Loss Journey - Good Housekeeping

 

[femfrankie]

Brilliant thread Emma. I'm nine months out and really struggling with this same issue & I can't bring myself to go buy a dress or a skirt. I dId at size 20 but I've have just this minute put it in the charity bag .. Never worn and now too big .
I look and admire them in shops but I can't pluck up the courage to go buy I don't even try them on in the shop and I don't know why... I just can't. It's like a big mental block.
My mum in law gave me a few skirts last week after a month of haranguing me to take them and try. I truly felt like I was backed into a corner but it is becoming so evident from close friends and family that they are fed up with my leggings and baggy "hide it all away" tops and they constantly ask isn't it about time that I show off the new me? So a bit of self therapy this evening I tried those skirts on again and took pictures in an effort to get some perspective on it. On me ..Okay its probably still a warped view of me but it is still better than the crazily warped perspective I get with my reflection in a mirror. In one I am in a size 12 skirt and 14 top and my reaction when hubby showed it to me was very OMG I am a lot thinner aren't i? Yet in the others I still see a slightly bigger me. Crazy isn't it!

 

[emma-louise]

Brilliant thread Emma. I'm nine months out and really struggling with this same issue & I can't bring myself to go buy a dress or a skirt. I dId at size 20 but I've have just this minute put it in the charity bag .. Never worn and now too big . I look and admire them in shops but I can't pluck up the courage to go buy I don't even try them on in the shop and I don't know why... I just can't. It's like a big mental block. My mum in law gave me a few skirts last week after a month of haranguing me to take them and try. I truly felt like I was backed into a corner but it is becoming so evident from close friends and family that they are fed up with my leggings and baggy "hide it all away" tops and they constantly ask isn't it about time that I show off the new me? So a bit of self therapy this evening I tried those skirts on again and took pictures in an effort to get some perspective on it. On me ..Okay its probably still a warped view of me but it is still better than the crazily warped perspective I get with my reflection in a mirror. In one I am in a size 12 skirt and 14 top and my reaction when hubby showed it to me was very OMG I am a lot thinner aren't i? Yet in the others I still see a slightly bigger me. Crazy isn't it!

Frankie it's hard isn't it...I would have thought after all this time I would have gotten used to the smaller me.
And maybe to other people they'd think "get over yourself" your not big anymore and I'm being a bit dramatic(well that's the impression someone gives me)...but I can honestly say it still feels like another person when I look in that mirror.
I just cannot see what others see,I still feel fat,and I'm still too big to wear the clothes I do.
Unless we push ourselves to wear those skirts/dresses we are going to be stuck in this rut of thinking for a long time!

 

[femfrankie]

its totally weird Emma and yes if we dont get ourselves motivated out of it we are going to be wearing jeans and leggings in our 80's!
Today im back in my safe jeggings :sigh:.. its windy outside lol