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BAD DAY PLEASE HELP.....

gaelic girl

gaelic girl

Loving Being a Loser
Hi everyone
Decided to tell my best friend and Mum of my intention for bypass surgery and the expected date. Got the reaction i expected from Mum worry do i have to etc wasi sure?. However what threw me was my friend's reaction, she proceeded to tell me all the side effects( she's a medical textbook, and a recovering anorexic) the worst possible scenarios, loose skin and all the trimmings no expense spared! She accused me of rushing into it and that the surgeon would tell me anything cause he was getting paid.Given that my consultation is this Saturday and i'm travelling 220 miles to do this i found myself in floods of tears! I was worried but positive up until now now i'm upset. Am i being silly?
PS sorry for the moan!
Allie x:cry:
 
Maybe if you hadnt mentioned anything to your best friend before, she was just shocked. Shes your best friend, so of course shes worried about you.
Its a big change in your life, maybe shes a little afraid also. you decided to undergo this life changing thing and made the decision all by yourself! Although her reaction maybe wasnt what you expected, try to see that she meant the best. After she has time to digest everything, you will see she will be very supportive.

Be brave, keep your head up, it will be all worth it in the end xxxx
 
I know what you mean, Im actually from Ireland, but I moved to Abu Dhabi about 5 years ago.
I still hate missing things that happen in my best friends life. Sometimes a couple of weeks will pass before I hear about something that happened in work or her family. Its just we have different things going on in our lives.
I suspect her reaction was a little strong cos shes feels a bit left out now that your seperated. Youve maybe got a little more independant now that shes farther away, maybe she felt you dont need her same as before.
 
Hi GG, sorry that yr friend has upset you - as others have said, she is probably worried - but being a recovering anorexic maybe she is coming at things from a different angle as her relationship with food will have been v different to yours. I think it is hard for others to understand I think, how we get to the point where we feel WLS is our only option. Try and be confident about the informed decision that you have made. Best wishes to you x
 
Hi GG...I was worried about what reaction I'd get from family & friends, but now realise that some of the negative reactions I've had (from family btw) are not really negativity but worry on their behalf...you have to do what's best for you :hug99:

good luck for your consultation

Red xx
 
Thanks again guys. I've got a cheek to moan SB about dublin it's 35 mins on a plane from Glasgow and there is you way out in Abu Dhabi that can't be easy at time. You are right Jenni about my friends relationship with food she has managed to put on a stone in 6 years gone from 6 and a half stone to 7 and a half and if and when she eats she can tell you every calorie etc that goes into her mouth. We really are like Little AND Large He He! Seriously guys Thanks it's so much better when you can hear it from a neutral point of view. I'm still inspired by eveyone's journey on here and once again i came to the right place to feel better:thankyou:
Allie x
 
Hi GG, I feel sad that this had upset you so close to your consultation BUT I think your freind is hurt that you had'nt discussed this with her before hand and probably found it a shock you'd considered this on your own. Your mum is bound to worry, all us mums do, its a natural feeling. Explain to them both the reason why you're doing this ie the healthier life you will have after and how much better you'll feel about yourself and all the things you'll be able to do that you can't do now. You go ahead with the consultation and tslk with the surgeon. You will be fine and I'm sure when you've had your op your Mum and your freind will be there for you. Good luck on Saturday xx Gaynorxx
 
It's a shame that she did it the way she did but it is important that you realise just how serious this op is and everything that it entails. You will end up losing weight but there's no garuntee's that you won't suffer from a host of other problem's. I'm sure your friend is just overly concerned about this as she is obviously in the know.
This op must only be taken as an absolute last resort. Sorry if that's a bit negative but unfortunately there are negatives involved in this.
 
Hi GG - i have a good friend who when i told her that my GP had said that WLS was my final option she went into a churchill dog impersonation oh no no no no no!!!lol So now she doesn't know that i have accepted this option and am awaiting my surgery date and as far as she is concerned if she asks what type of op i've had i'll tell her it' was my gall-bladder cos if she knew the truth i would NEVER hear the end of it.

If this is something you truly want then that's all that matters - as we have said before where parents are concerned they worry about you which is only natural. Take care sending hugs with fairy dust to keep you positive
 
Hi Guys
Have had the day to think about it now and can prob see where she is coming from her personality is such that she looks at worst pos scenario and anything else is a bonus! Not negative at all would much rather know the truth before than find out later. Will see what Mr Ammori says on Saturday but still sure i'll go for it.
Allie x
 
gaelic girl said:
Hi everyone
Decided to tell my best friend and Mum of my intention for bypass surgery and the expected date. Got the reaction i expected from Mum worry do i have to etc wasi sure?. However what threw me was my friend's reaction, she proceeded to tell me all the side effects( she's a medical textbook, and a recovering anorexic) the worst possible scenarios, loose skin and all the trimmings no expense spared! She accused me of rushing into it and that the surgeon would tell me anything cause he was getting paid.Given that my consultation is this Saturday and i'm travelling 220 miles to do this i found myself in floods of tears! I was worried but positive up until now now i'm upset. Am i being silly?
PS sorry for the moan!
Allie x:cry:
Click to expand...


No your not being silly.

Maybe when your friend has time to think, she'll see she overreacted and could of expressed her concern more tackfully.

My mum was very worried about me having Bypass, but came round to the idea when I said I felt if I didn't I wouldn't make it to possibily see my daughter marry or be around to enjoy grandchildren as she has done.
 
Last edited:
sharbear said:
I know what you mean, Im actually from Ireland, but I moved to Abu Dhabi about 5 years ago.
I still hate missing things that happen in my best friends life. Sometimes a couple of weeks will pass before I hear about something that happened in work or her family. Its just we have different things going on in our lives.
I suspect her reaction was a little strong cos shes feels a bit left out now that your seperated. Youve maybe got a little more independant now that shes farther away, maybe she felt you dont need her same as before.
Click to expand...

My best friend of almost 24 years move to Ireland 10 years ago for a man. After a couple of year they split up. She decided to stay in Ireland for the kids.

I use to speak to her once a fortnight and visit her yearly and she would do the same. Sometime I'll text her and days or a week can go by before I hear anything.

I hear less from her now as she is now married to someone I dislike and cause her nothing but trouble before her marriage and continues to do so, they are separated a month ago.

Just when I think we have drifted to far apart she'll have me in tears by sending me a heart wrenching letter or card.

I haven't told her about if and when I'll have my Bypass. I haven't decided if I will or not yet.
 
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