confused!!

[December Girl]

Hi - Firstly thanks to CharlieGirl and Shelbell (hope I have spelt this correctly) I really need to talk to people who have had the procedure (gastric bypass) and I have so many doubts but in the back of my mind I am determined to do it. I will be self funding and I have been quoted £9,000 - which appears to be a fair price. I would have it at a Spire Hospital which I have visited and it looks great. My husband thinks it is a dreadfully drastic measure (he is slim!!) I tried to explain it like this...... everytime we get an invitation to a party/wedding/function of some sort, the first thought that passes through my head is not oh goody a night out but how much weight can i lose before then and i start to cut out food immediately and then if I havent lost a stone in a week i think oh what the hell may as well stuff my face. I have two small children and I really dont want them to have the same relationship with food as I have. Finally, the thought of spending the rest of my life on one diet or another is just not an option. So....... any help you can give me regarding gastric band versus gastric bypass would be great.
Thanks again - you are all an inspiration

 

[cazbandy]

I think the simple way to look at the difference is this:-

Gastric Band - Easily reversible, adjustable, slower pace of weightloss, no malabsorption of nutrients from food, less recovery time. Will need fills everynow and then and you have a little port on the belly that feels odd but you get used to it.

Gastric Bypass - Can be reversed but no so easily, not adjustable, you have to watch your fat and sugar or you get a rather nasty surprise, will need to make sure you get all the right nutrients everyday and will need supplements, no port, no fills. Longer recovery time but faster results in the first year.

Gastric Balloon - 6 months maximum in the body, will allow you to eat smaller portions but can cause nasty nausea and sickness to start. A starting block treatment.

I had the band done. When I spoke to my surgeon he showed me figures that over a ten year period bandsters gained back the same rate as bypassers, so overall the two methods have similar results. I liked the shortness of the op, 40 mins as apposed to 3 hours and I want to be able to enjoy every kind of food, which I do but in restricted quantity.

And I really did not want my anatomy changed but that doesn't mean I think anyone who has a bypass is odd, what is right for one, might not be right for another and we are free to make those choices for ourselves.

I think you should sit sown and write a pros and cons list, how each procedure will affect you and your family in your recovery and ongoing journey.

But whatever choice you make it will be right for you and I wish you all the best for your oncoming surgery - whichever it may be...:character00238:

 

[December Girl]

Thanks for all that information - why cant the docotors put it so easily! I have a further appointment for next week so will spend the week making notes and pro's and cons as you suggested. Well done on your amazing loss - are you missing eating?

 

[Silver Shoes]

Hi December Girl,

I can totally relate to how you are currently feeling. I had the bypass 3 1/2 months ago and have never looked back!
My husband is slim also, and although he did think I was crazy at first I had his full support, especially when I reached rock bottom with my battle against my weight. He is amazed at how well I have done and couldnt be happier with a more slimmer me! I have 2 young girls and my bad eating habits were rubbing off on them. I was always on a diet, and I do not want them going through what I have all my life. I now just eat healthily and do not have any food issues, and food does not rule my life, which is a fantastic feeling!

I'm assuming you know the differences between the bypass and band? I chose the bypass as I knew I would cheat my band at some point. Also statistically, the bypass has better long term weight loss results. I thought if I'm gonna do this, I may as well do the best for me personally! I needed a permanent solution with the fact of knowing that if I ate too much sugar or fat, I would be ill! Good old dumping syndrome!!! Its great not to have the temptation I guess. Obviously the bypass is major surgery which changes your anatomy. You will also need to take vitamin and mineral supplements for the rest of your life due to the malabsorption aspect of the bypass. the band is far easier to reverse than the bypass, but the bypass can be reversed if needed. Its a personal decision, and only you can make it. Research as much as you can, the good AND bad of both procedures, so there are no shocks if you decide to go ahead. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide,

Take care,

Kel xx

 

[charliegirl]

Think Cazbandy has covered it all. You also need to take into account what your surgeon recommends for the way you eat. I eat little and often which ended up a lot and often, and therefore the bypass was recommended to me. I have been told that there is no reason at all when fully recovered that I can eat more or less what I ate before but much less. As I was more a savoury than sweet person I wont have the trouble with the sugar cravings. So before you make a final decision speak to a surgeon and get some advice....good luck and I think your doing the right thing I cant remember enjoying a social engagement for such a long time because the panic sets in...xx

 

[wobbles]

What made me decide to go with the bypass instead of the band is the problems my uncle has had with the band. My BMI was 49, and i was around 23stone to start with. My surgeon also confirmed my thoughts, that considering i was so big, the band would not be as effective as the bypass. That on the bypass i would lose a larger amount of weight, bringing my BMI down faster meaning less health problems. Where as the band was not a guaranteed weigh of lowering my bmi quickly. Also that it's easier to slip up with the band, you can still over eat and eat the wrong things (my uncles problems) whereas the bypass, over eating isn't really an issue as it's just physically not possible (eat too much, and it will all come back up) and you can't absorb as much fat which means if you eat something too high in fat, you're sick!

For me, it was black and white. If i was going to have surgery, it had to be all or nothing. I wasn't willing to mess around with the band, giving myself opportunity to 'cheat'. On the bypass, i have to have a low fat diet for the rest of my life, which ensures i will never be this size again.

My son is 15 months old, and like you, i don't want him growing up with the same relationship to food as i have, how can i teach him to be healthy and eat well, when i'm not? I also want to live long enough to see him grow up and get married and give me grandbabies.

I want to be able to look in the mirror and be happy with what i see, instead of being disgusted. I don't want to be afraid of catching myself in the mirror. I want to be able to look forward to weddings and events and nights out, and get excited about going clothes shopping, knowing i can get something off the rack from a normal shop.

I want to be happy in my own skin. And right now, i feel like i'm someone who's been wearing a fat suit as a disguise my whole life. The real me is inside, but i've been hiding for so long i don't even know who the person inside is. I want to get to know me. And i want to be happy with me. It's time to shed that awful suit that means i get discriminated against, picked on, ridiculed, stared at, laughed at, humiliated, and is in constant pain and fear of dying early.

I suggest getting your hubby to read how the surgery has changed peoples lives, he may understand a little more.

Good luck, and if you decide to do it, it will be the best 9 grand you spent, and well worth it. it will give you back your confidence, happiness, and most importantly, your health. xx

 

[Frosty]

Hiya

I had a bypass done for the simple reason it can do more for you. not only making to eat less but when you eat you do take in as many calories, as they shorten your intestine.

I feel that if you suffer from wieght gain badly then a bypass would be better.

As for support im sure your husband will give you full support as my wife did after i made the choice.
But if he doesnt change his mind about having a operation, ask him if his penis was going to drop off leaving him affriad to go out and withdrawn and gets the feeling everyone is talking about him and looking. Would he have the operation to keep his penis or would he let it fall off.

Ive got a feeling what route he would take and thats how we feel so you go get it done and dont look back


Best of luck

Mark

 

[gingernutter]

Thank you everyone for such clear and easy to understand details. I will show this to anyone I feel needs to know more as it is very helpful.

good luck with your weight loss journeys.

 

[December Girl]

Thank-you all so much, it is really amazing to me that people are prepared to take time out of their busy days to help me make such a huge decision and I thank all of you for your support. I think part of the problem is that my husband looked up Gastric Bypass on Wikapeadia and only seemed to read the risks/after op problems etc - he is concerned that someone is messing with my insides, but as I said to him, pick up our two children, strap them to your back and walk around with them for ten minutes. Thats the extra weight I carry with me every day every night....... I am becoming more and more convinced that the bypass is the way ahead. Did any of you have complications with your bypass, did you become depressed after the operation, was it a dreadful experience. My surgeon suggested the bypass because of my eating habits (grazing all day) he said I would be in hospital for 2 days and that after 6 weeks I would be eating small amounts of food and soups and soft foods for the initial 6 weeks. How quickly did you start to cope with everyday life - apologies if you have all answered these questions before!! Frosty, I loved your analagy about the penis, how very true!! Thanks again DC xx

 

[Brunetteandred]

What made me decide to go with the bypass instead of the band is the problems my uncle has had with the band. My BMI was 49, and i was around 23stone to start with. My surgeon also confirmed my thoughts, that considering i was so big, the band would not be as effective as the bypass. That on the bypass i would lose a larger amount of weight, bringing my BMI down faster meaning less health problems. Where as the band was not a guaranteed weigh of lowering my bmi quickly. Also that it's easier to slip up with the band, you can still over eat and eat the wrong things (my uncles problems) whereas the bypass, over eating isn't really an issue as it's just physically not possible (eat too much, and it will all come back up) and you can't absorb as much fat which means if you eat something too high in fat, you're sick!

For me, it was black and white. If i was going to have surgery, it had to be all or nothing. I wasn't willing to mess around with the band, giving myself opportunity to 'cheat'. On the bypass, i have to have a low fat diet for the rest of my life, which ensures i will never be this size again.

My son is 15 months old, and like you, i don't want him growing up with the same relationship to food as i have, how can i teach him to be healthy and eat well, when i'm not? I also want to live long enough to see him grow up and get married and give me grandbabies.

I want to be able to look in the mirror and be happy with what i see, instead of being disgusted. I don't want to be afraid of catching myself in the mirror. I want to be able to look forward to weddings and events and nights out, and get excited about going clothes shopping, knowing i can get something off the rack from a normal shop.

I want to be happy in my own skin. And right now, i feel like i'm someone who's been wearing a fat suit as a disguise my whole life. The real me is inside, but i've been hiding for so long i don't even know who the person inside is. I want to get to know me. And i want to be happy with me. It's time to shed that awful suit that means i get discriminated against, picked on, ridiculed, stared at, laughed at, humiliated, and is in constant pain and fear of dying early.

I suggest getting your hubby to read how the surgery has changed peoples lives, he may understand a little more.

Good luck, and if you decide to do it, it will be the best 9 grand you spent, and well worth it. it will give you back your confidence, happiness, and most importantly, your health. xx

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

 

[shelbell]

I have had no complications, no issues, fast recovery, and visible health benefits already. Today, nearly 4 months post op, I've been on a training course were I sat and had lunch with 2 people who were strangers when they walked in to the course, but I befriended during the day (I'm confident enough to do that now), without them noticing any problems etc. Tonight, hubby's taking me out for dinner to yo sushi, which I'm really looking forward to. So post op you can lead a normal life and eat foods similar to other people, just less.

Dumping syndrome is my friend. I've dumped twice, both horrid experiences, but I'm soooo glad I did. Now, I don't want to eat high fat/high sugar foods, as it's not worth the horrid feeling afterwards. I don't feel deprived of anything, I don't feel like I'm on a diet. If I want chocolate, I have chocolate, it;s just that it's a fun size milky way instead of a family size bar of galaxy!

Am busy right now, but if you want to chat on MSN any time mine is [email protected] so feel free to give me a shout and I'll happily answer any questions you have.

 

[tammy]

Hi december girl. i initially was referred for the band but after discussing my eating habits with the surgeon they advised that the bypass would be the best option for me. I had the bypass done at the end of may and although i have had ups and downs i have not regretted my decision at all. i am healthier and happier and i can enjoy my children more.

i would recommend the surgery to anyone. i have had very few problems following the bypass and have found that socially i have not suffered at all.

good luck with your decisions x

 

[wobbles]

I'm not that far into having my bypass as you can see by my ticker but i've not had any complications. If anthing, i have to remind myself i've had it. Today i had soup and a piece of toast for lunch, and tonight, i've had most of a tesco light choices macaroni cheese. I have been shopping and intend to eat a nice healthy, low fat, low suger diet, which surprisingly, i'm quite excited about.

As for depression, i have severe depression/bipolar II which i take medication for. My mood has lifted enormously already, and i've not had any manic or depressive episode since afew weeks before the op. I do have bad days now and then, as you'll read on my thread 'feeling quite hurt' and i've wanted to comfort eat, but i'm also very proud of myself for how i've handled those moments. The changes are happening, it's not happening over night, but it is happening.

I can't believe how much weight other people have lost, and it has not sunk in yet that that will be me in a few months! BONKERS DUDE!!

 

[December Girl]

Morning
I have been speaking with a dear friend of mine who is an addict - she has not had a drink for 18.5 years but still needs the support of AA every week. Although she understands my reasons for having the bypass, she is concerned that this is not getting to the route of the problem and that as an addict (mine is obviously to food) I need to have proper counciling to make me better - what are your thoughts - have any of you ever attended Over Eaters Annon or anything similar.
Thanks Decemeber Girl

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

having weight loss surgery doesnt make our food addictions go away, it always stays with us in our minds, wls just helps to control the food addiction, a good wls providor will offer counciling in there package to help people come to terms and cope with the change better.

 

[shelbell]

Hi DG

Your friend sounds very wise. A lot of PCTs put prospective patients through psychological assessment pre-op as part of the funding process, and offer psychological support for after. I see a psychologist regularly and benefited hugely from the pre-op assessment. I also had a year of weight management on a one to one basis with the local bariatric co-ordinator pre-op which helped me break food habits and acknowledge my triggers and falling points. All in all, it meant that while I had a long wait for surgery, I felt truly prepared mentally for the procedure and for the changes I would have to make post op for it to work.

I would recommend seeking a similar service to anyone pre-op, even if it is just part of what I had. Your GP will be able to tell you what psyche help there is available, even if it's just counselling to let you look at the roots of your food issues.

 

[hopelesscase]

couldnt of put it any better.
HC

 

[December Girl]

Hi Liz why are you feeling crappy today? - I have spoken to the surgeon and there is a year long programme after the op and then they suggest you join a support group. I hope you are feeling happier DG XX

 

[December Girl]

Shelbell, thanks for that - there is a chance I can have the surgery next Friday but I did do 8 months of Lighter Life where we looked at Cognitive behaviour and triggers etc. I have been thinking the surgery for a long time and I am off work at the moment and it seemed an ideal time to have it done - and in some ways I dont want to have too long to prepare for the surgery, I just want to get it done. You would not believe the amount of food I have eaten whilst reading and replying to all of you - it is complete madness that I am reading all of these inspirational and supportive messages and I am stuffing my face. I have just been looking at your start date/weight/bmi and where you are now......amazing - you must feel incredibly proud of yourself - and again, thanks for all your sound advice x

 

[shelbell]

Anytime DG, and thanks The Lighter Life prep will stand you in good stead, and the year aftercare will be good too. There are support groups all over the country and being in London I'm sure you'll have no problem finding one thats close by. There is a lot of emotional support on sites like this too so that all helps.

Friday would be very exciting, let us know when you find out!