Dating after wls for men

[jasonslaphead]

Now my turn for a question, if you like these people you date and decide you want to get 'jiggy' will you explain about your wls then? Or make up some (excuse the pun) cock n bull to avoid sharing? xx

Its not telling people that im really concerned about I really couldnt care less about that and if they dont like it they can bog off

Its more that I dont want to take some lady out on a date and let the fact that I have had an op effect things and potentially make her feel uncomfortable. I have already met one potential date and told her all about it but she has snakes so Im not sure if anything will come of it as im a bit scared

 

[rybens]

Its not telling people that im really concerned about I really couldnt care less about that and if they dont like it they can bog off

Its more that I dont want to take some lady out on a date and let the fact that I have had an op effect things and potentially make her feel uncomfortable. I have already met one potential date and told her all about it but she has snakes so Im not sure if anything will come of it as im a bit scared

Aww bless dont worry about the snakes , unless she keeps em in her bedroom! lol

 

[jasonslaphead]

One of them escaped and it was hiding behind her dvd player and she wanted me to go to her place and catch it because she said it tried to bite her. Luckily I was unable to meet her for a couple of days by which time she had recaptured it

 

[rybens]

OMG be very carefull you dont want to get biten , could be a very embaressing visit to a&e ! lol

 

[hopelesscase]

hi jason being new on the dating scene after 20 yrs and having met 6 men over the the past 4 weeks i will let you know what i have done that has felt safe for me as a female but in this i also aknowledge that i am now 12 months post op, I also have major hang ups about my skin and the thought of someone seeing me undressed.
But here goes
my first date with most of them has been in a coffee shop. the reason for this is i had never met any of them before i have met them through a dating web site and hence met them during the day on my turf. the other 2 i met at a bar in the eve one of them at a bar where my sons friend is the manager and the other one had shared loads of personal info about his company web site etc phoned him on the number on his website etc and felt very safe meeting him in town for a drink. i have only drank fresh orange juice when i have been out and neither of the guys that i met in the eve drank alcohol as they were driving.
a second date with one of them was another coffee in town on his turf so to speak and with another we went for a meal but shared a platter at a harvester. all of them have known about my surgery and although im not having a relationshp with any of them 3 of them are turning out to be good friends.
Personally id say be upfront and honest that way the understanding is clear. and you wont be digging yrself out of any holes.
cinama isnt a good early date you want to be able to talk and if a fella took me to the cinema on an early date id be questioning his motives.
bowling is good unless yr competative and then sack it
museum/art gallery /aquarium id be happy in any of them.
On one of my early dates after coffee we just went for a walk to the local park and sat an talked.
HTH
carole

 

[Glenville]

Thanks Carole, very helpful post. You are a very sensible yound lady, you can never be to sure who you are meeting.

The best of luck with your new friends.

John xx

 

[hopelesscase]

John thank you very much for yr kind words.

I have found out that the futher along the path of the journey you are the more self discovery you find.

For me that is realising that i do have very high standards wont settle for second best, have self respect and integrity.

My standards dont stop me from having fun and enjoying myself but i know instinctivly when something doesnt feel right.

i know what i dont want out of life which also makes me very choosy.

im discovering the older you get and the older the opposite sex gets the more diverse your expectations become lol (not painting all you males with the same brush honest)

But more importantly take each day as it comes dont put all yr eggs in one basket and enjoy discovering who you are before committing to someone else.
carole

 

[Meggie]

John thank you very much for yr kind words.

I have found out that the futher along the path of the journey you are the more self discovery you find.

For me that is realising that i do have very high standards wont settle for second best, have self respect and integrity.

My standards dont stop me from having fun and enjoying myself but i know instinctivly when something doesnt feel right.

i know what i dont want out of life which also makes me very choosy.

im discovering the older you get and the older the opposite sex gets the more diverse your expectations become lol (not painting all you males with the same brush honest)

But more importantly take each day as it comes dont put all yr eggs in one basket and enjoy discovering who you are before committing to someone else.
carole

Carole,
I thought it was lovely reading this post as I think I have realised on this weird and wonderful journey towards WLS how little self esteem and self respect I have. I haven't really felt like I don't have that much confidence but often felt like I didn't deserve it either. Weird ol' thing!! Things will get better I guess!!!

You're looking fabulous by the way!! Bet you're beating them off with a stick!!!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[gillabean]

I know what you mean Carole, I will only settle for George Clooney or Mr Pitt! Wish me luck!

 

[phatmomma]

Ladies who are internet dating (please accept advice off this old pro - now ex serial internet dater)... Carole your doing everything right, the website numbers altho turned out to be kosher there's no reason why someone couldnt put a number down and it be there number but not safe...so be careful! I used to date day/evening, i'd always want a registration of the car and make/colour and i'd pass these details onto a friend. I always rang a friend to say i was okay and the bloke wasn't a weirdo and let them know when i was leaving to come home. Basically all the things we tell our kids to do when going out lol....

Good luck all of you daters and Jason? it's okay i was going to make a totally inappropriate 'snake in the bedroom' comment but i have refrained as i'm a laydeee x

 

[Meggie]

Ladies who are internet dating (please accept advice off this old pro - now ex serial internet dater)... Carole your doing everything right, the website numbers altho turned out to be kosher there's no reason why someone couldnt put a number down and it be there number but not safe...so be careful! I used to date day/evening, i'd always want a registration of the car and make/colour and i'd pass these details onto a friend. I always rang a friend to say i was okay and the bloke wasn't a weirdo and let them know when i was leaving to come home. Basically all the things we tell our kids to do when going out lol....

Good luck all of you daters and Jason? it's okay i was going to make a totally inappropriate 'snake in the bedroom' comment but i have refrained as i'm a laydeee x

Haha me too!! Sooooooooooooooo tempted to make the joke...............I'll be good!!!

 

[Ulidia]

We Irish have it all sussed.

Starters: soup with two spoons (she can have the bread roll)

Main: Extra plate for me and two knives and forks. Oh, and some more gravy please

Sweet: I'll just have the ice cream and maybe a spoonful of her whipped cream.

Coffee: Yes please but no sugar and some skimmed milk.

After a treat like that she'll pay for the taxi!

Did I mention the wine? No, well not to her anyway.

Women, they just love us Irish blokes!

Can't for the life of me understand why either.

U

 

[hopelesscase]

 

[Glenville]

I know what you mean Carole, I will only settle for George Clooney or Mr Pitt! Wish me luck!

Well it has been said in the past that I strike an amazing resemblance to Mr Pitt, can't think by who, it might have been me. Anyway, it is probably Pitt the elder.

John xxx

 

[phatmomma]

Well it has been said in the past that I strike an amazing resemblance to Mr Pitt, can't think by who, it might have been me. Anyway, it is probably Pitt the elder.

John xxx

I think you could well be taking the Pitt, John.... But you're so adorable you could be forgiven almost anything and everything xxx

 

[Glenville]

But you're so adorable you could be forgiven almost anything and everything xxx

Ahhh Julie, it's nice to know I have at least 1 fan...

Errrmmm... what do you mean "almost"?

xx

 

[phatmomma]

Ahhh Julie, it's nice to know I have at least 1 fan...

Errrmmm... what do you mean "almost"?

xx

Oh John if only i wasn't a newly married woman i'd tell you x

 

[wannabeslimagain]

i know this has nothing to with to do with this but my maiden name is Pitt ha ha ha ha

 

[emergingbutterfly]

What a good idea. Think how cheap the date would be.

I like this thread. Please post back here when you had your date and let us know where you decided to take her and how she reacted.