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Disrespect in shops.

Tyraboots

Tyraboots

New Member
Has anyone experienced it. I find I am continually disregarded in shops. I seem to find that even though I am 24 stone and 5 ft 10, other people get served before me, or will push in front of me. I've caught people looking in my trolley to see what I buy. I asked a shop assistant to get me a size 14 cardigan (I'm size 32, it was a gift for a friend) only for the assistant to announce that the cardigan didn't stretch!
I was completely ignored in the Louis Vuitton shop when I visited to treat myself to a purse for finishing my degree.They served everyone except me, and when I asked them to serve me they acted like I was something they had stepped in. And recently I burst into tears in a mobile phone shop, due to being mucked about my them for 4 days.
I have the 'what are you doing in here?' stares in some boutiques also.
 
unfrotunately, there is a lot of ignorance and predijudice out there... some people can and do judge others so very quickly and easily...
 
I think that you may be slightly paranoid - with regards to the mobile phone shop, I have had to complain about my local T Mobile shop to Head Office several times as all the kids in there do is talk about football. As for Vuitton - they treat everyone like they are scum - they are shop assistants nothing more and should remember that!

Complain about the people that genuinely are horrid (like the cardigan woman) and hold your head up high and ignore the rest - they arent worth you getting upset over them as their ignorance knows no bounds.
 
I would agree with Caroline there Tyraboots, please don't let it get you down. You're a lot braver than me , I get everything online at the moment.
 
Tyraboots said:
Has anyone experienced it. I find I am continually disregarded in shops. I seem to find that even though I am 24 stone and 5 ft 10, other people get served before me, or will push in front of me. I've caught people looking in my trolley to see what I buy. I asked a shop assistant to get me a size 14 cardigan (I'm size 32, it was a gift for a friend) only for the assistant to announce that the cardigan didn't stretch!
I was completely ignored in the Louis Vuitton shop when I visited to treat myself to a purse for finishing my degree.They served everyone except me, and when I asked them to serve me they acted like I was something they had stepped in. And recently I burst into tears in a mobile phone shop, due to being mucked about my them for 4 days.
I have the 'what are you doing in here?' stares in some boutiques also.
Click to expand...

I can totally relate to how you feel. Whether your being paranoid or not its horrible to feel self conscious when your out. I have got everything from the internet for nearly a year now because I feel everyone stares at me.

I have only just started going out again after starting the pre op diet and losing 12lb. I am still big but it's given me the confidence to go out again knowing i'm having the op very soon.

Keep your chin up and try not to let it bother you if you can. Soon enough you'll be strutting around the shops looking for size 14 for yourself ;)
 
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You know what I do ladies/Gents,

I clench my fist, and extend my middle finger and say b*****s to em ......but I understand not e1 is the same . xx
 
I have come to the conclusion that you cannot fight the world. Yes it hurts but we should be safe in the knowledge that our size issues are temporary whilst these people, whose knuckles scrape along the ground, have issues that will take years if ever to iron out. There is such a thing as Karma and I truly believe that what goes around comes around - Ive been proven right on several occasions.
 
Caroline101061 said:
I have come to the conclusion that you cannot fight the world. Yes it hurts but we should be safe in the knowledge that our size issues are temporary whilst these people, whose knuckles scrape along the ground, have issues that will take years if ever to iron out. There is such a thing as Karma and I truly believe that what goes around comes around - Ive been proven right on several occasions.
Click to expand...

Very true.... I love Karma lol

Well done on your weight loss too Caroline. I hope I do as well as you have. :D
 
thats really sweet of you - and there is no reason at all why you shouldnt. Good luck for Friday and well done on your preop loss so far - its hard work that pre op diet!
 
Hi,

I completely agree. Back in 2003 I embarked on an Interior Design Course to study to BA Hons level with a well known college( I had already got an A level at evening college). I joined an online forum set up by one of the student's which was highly popular and used by most of the English Students and some International.

I was on there most days and a meeting was set up in london to go to a Design fayre and for a meal afterwards.

I went and although at the time I was a size 28 and weighed about 20 stone ( I was still smoking then).

I felt completely out of place, they were all nice enough although I did feel that some were giving me the your kidding yourself stares the thing that got me the most was I was made to feel stupid and inadequate and I gave up the course.

It is my biggest regret!! Apart from the cost it has been my lifes dream. So a few days ago I decided that if my hubby's redundency comes through (find out tomorrow nailbiting as I type) I am going to enrol on the course again. I shan't join any forums apart from the official one and any trips I shall undertake on my own.

However this time I will succeed!!

So 4 years study here I come!!

Take Care

Paula XX

P.S The moral of my story is don't let the *******s get you down and give up!!!!!!!!!
 
people can be so horrid and for no reason, I am a size 24 and dont feel big (if that makes sence) in my life untill i go outside my comfort zone and go to say the trafford centre where i feel very paranoid of the image around me.
I too put everything on hold and wait for the time i will be confident to go to college, get a job etc...
I also believe that what goes around comes around,
i love the phase be careful who's feet you step on, on the way up you might have to kiss them on the way down. x so so true
 
I find I don't complain because I don't want to draw attention to myself. In M&S at the weekend I tried three times to get to a shelf that was being filled. The girl saw me but just ignored me. Another employee noticed me struggling and asked if I needed help. I felt embarrassed ans said ' no,its ok.' I left without buying anything and I heard the shelf stacker say ' aren't fat people rude.' So M&S lost a small sale and I felt rubbish all weekend.
 
Ask them for the address of head office,that will shut the snotty so and sos up!And if they are talking say so sorry to interupt your conversation,but Im a mystery shopper could I speak to your manager please?
 
The answer is to move to Burton-on-Trent. Everyone is large here, something to do with the pies, beer and large portions I think...lol

On a serious note, I don't mean to make light of your problem and do know how uncomfortable it feels to be the largest person around, but what I can't relate to being ignored by shopkeepers or having them being rude like that. I've always found it to be the other way round. people tended to be intimidated by my weight/size and I would often get served first, if they were rude then they would get short shift.

I noticed a huge difference in the way people treated me when I put weight on and in my case I actually found it to be positive. For example, men in particular would never speak to me as if I had a brain when slim and women, well lets not go there. I was always this blonde bimbo that never got taken seriously. That changed a lot when I got bigger.

Now I feel almost as if, now the weight is going, I'm starting to fade into the background again and I personally don't like it very much.

Its funny how weight issues can be so different for everyone isn't it, or is it really a confidence problem as opposed to a weight problem?
 
I hate stuck up people who look at you like crap on the bottom of their shoes just because I'm not a size 8. I've been a size 8 after being ill when i was 19/20 and trust me I never want to go there again as I hated it. I have a large chest that never seems to shrink when I loose weight so men tend to talk to my boobs and women think that if I'm talking to a man I'm trying it on. But being large you get dirty looks, snide comments etc. etc. I walked in to a Gucci shop to buy a purse that goes with my bag that my hubby brought for an anniversary gift and got the "you can't shop in here" look. Went back a few months later with said bag and got all the help i wanted, needless to say I walked out without buying a purse and ended up in Tiffany's instead where they couldn't have been more pleasant and true. I now love Tiffany's and can't wait to walk into Gucci when I've lost all my weight and see what result I get then. I also find that some of the men my hubby works with have a problem with me because my size which i dont understand as what has it got to do with me as a person and my personality? Nothing, it's upsetting when people treat me like crap but the one thing that keeps me strong is having a loving hubby who loves me no matter what and having a few very close friends who are supporting me on the weight loss now. As for those with the problem, what goes around comes around and boy I can't wait to see how they act later on.
 
Its the weight that depletes the confidence/self esteem, coupled with the fact that you get 'fat person's radar' and become acutely aware of people looking and talking about you. As Ive said before, you cannot fight the world and whilst Im the first person to attack someone verbally if they have a pop at me, I think dwelling on it and letting it affect you is not the right way to go - you are never ever going to change people's prejudices so concentrate on doing the best you can for yourself and the rest of the world can go hang - hope that makes sense.
 
I have what my OH likes to call "Biatch mouth" lol anytime anyone says something or ignores me or just looks at me wrong Im going to say something sarcastic or Biatchy to them, thee other half likes to point out to his mates that everything that comes out of my mouth is dripping with sarcasim or disdain..

Which is true thanks to my gran who told me long ago... "there is no one in the world whose better then you"

just push yourself foreward and think your weight will go there personality or ugliness aint gonna shift anytime soon..

Berri xx
 
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