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Honesty about WLS

Oh God, I am useless at this, just poured my heart out in a reply and lost it! I think!

Well...... What I was saying was that I am very gratefull for all your replies and that they are helping me a lot. I think that some of my hesitance comes from a feeling of guilt. I have three children who need me around and although I know my health will be affected by my weight in the future, right now I dont feel unhealthy at all. Having said that I have been clinically obese for 25 years so maybe I just dont know what healthy feels like. my husband is very supportive and wants me to be happy but he would prefer me not to have the op and thinks I dont need it. So really I am only doing it for myself. I want to just walk into river island and buy a pair of jeans, I want to be able to horse ride again, I want to be able to make love to my husband without feeling self concious (sorry if that too much info), I want to be able to walk into a room full of strangers without feeling they are judging me on my size, I dont want to be afraid of ill health, I am sick of thin people giving me diet advice like it is that simple, I never want to go to a diet club again, I want to stop the eternal yo yo dieting and be proud that I have achieved something and I fantasize about these things all the time. But they are all for me. Did or does anyone else feel guilty?

Leesh x
 
hi leesh
yeah i feel guilty, mines a bit different as i feel guilty that ive cost the nhs a fortune and also that ive caused my surgeon so much grief but guilt all the same.xx
 
you may feel well now but being obese in its self iks so dangerous and taking this one chance to make life better for not only you but for the future with your children. Seeing them grow up and being able to live to a ripe old age is the reward for doing this big thing. Yes guilt is there but it is the same guilt that you will have if you dont do anything and end up a burden to your children with some kind of illness or just not be here at all. God sorry that was a lecture and a half but it is just the way I see it and I am only one person so ignore me if you wish but I just wanted to tell you how I feel. Good luck with your choices xxx
 
hi i am weeks post op and ve lost about 3st and can honstly say its the best thng i have ever done. was so frghtend about the op for all the reasons you say but there was nothng to be scared of honstly. the anestatst put in the canular n my hand asked me to breath in some oxcgen whle he ftted the thngs to it and secured t with tape to my hand and as was listnng to hm someone started to tell me to wake up t was all over. i could not belive it, i have had no pain at all just uncomfatable a bt at first wen i walked or sat down but certanly not pain. i have dumped because ive eaten to fast or not chewed enough its all a learning thing some are beter at it than others . i can have the odd choc no probs but i wouldnt push it and try to have more ive not had a drink yet as i dont drink much anyway.you wll be fine im sure..........kath x
 
I am having a band on the 11th of January, guilty god yes..this is for me for my feelings for my look for my health. What if I die ?? I leave a husband three young children, a mum a dad a brother and friends. But I need to do thsi for me, I have wasted too much fo my life saying oh i cant i'm fat...I want to start to live and hope to god I can make this band work x helen
 
I've yet to have my bypass and at the moment can say dying from the operation or even complications post op doesn't scare me...

What does scare me is living in this fat body forever. At the moment its okay, i'm mobile and apart from diabetes fairly healthy..... But this won't last forever, in 20 years i'll be 62 and without surgery i'll still be fat. The thought of my son trying to pall bear my fat carcass in the local crematorium scares the hell out of me. Any slight twinges in my chest area scares me.

Life now is not living to the full, its getting by... So in answer to the question i think the thought of doing nothing is more scary than doing something...

As for chocolate (booze don't bother me) i pray for the day i wake up and don't want some...

hth x
 
The bypass is a lifestyle choice - when I was deciding what to do, I made the choice that I had gone 47 years eating what I liked and look where it had got me - over 24 stone, with high blood pressure, sciatica and numerous other weight related issues.

Im 8 months post op, have lost 9stone 2lbs and feel wonderful. Ive had no problems at all post surgery - no dumping, no hair loss, no sickness. My sweet tooth seems to have disappeared for now so not having chocolate and cake is not an issue but should I get the urge, anything that is diabetic friendly is ok but I find that a tiny bit satisfies me now. On Saturday I went into River Island and tried on stuff just for the hell of it. I havent looked back since April 16 - only forwards. What I would say is that whatever surgery you decide to have - follow your surgeons instructions and dont try to cheat or buck the system - there is no point. Its a last chance option but so so worth it.
 
Hi Leesh,

Before I had my op I put up a post just like yours with the same worries, fears and feelings...was I doing the right thing? Would I be the one in 200 that didn't make it? Would my three children be left without a mum?

Did I feel guilty? Yes of course I did, especially as I had to borrow a huge amount of money and put a financial strain on the family to have the surgery.

I too was a chocoholic and I too was going to opt for a band until I started researching the other options. I went to my surgeon and told him I wanted the bypass and he agreed it was my best option. He told me (I asked!) that 2 of his patients (out of over 400) had died from the surgery and for a while this was all I could focus on. It scared me silly and I found myself really questioning my decision.

But I soon realised it was a risk I was prepared to take and before I knew it my surgery was booked in and the assessment phase under way.

That was 6 weeks ago and already the operation has changed my life. Since the beginning of my journey in September I have gone from over 20 stone to 16.5 stone, a size 28/30 to a size 22 and my confidence and self esteem have already rocketed. :D

No longer do I automatically think people are looking at me thinking 'God she's fat', now they look and I smile to myself that they may be thinking 'coorrrrr I'd av some of that'!! ;):D Who knows what is really going on in their head, but the difference is I don't care, cos I feel so good in myself. :D

I wish you luck with whatever you decide and well done for finding this forum, it will give you all the information you need to help you along the way.

Merry Christmas,
Cuppa xx
 
phatgirl said:
It was always the bypass for me, I know myself and knew that I needed to do something drastic about my weight. I wasn't really concerned about dying because at my weight with my health problems and the amount of heart disease in my family, I was not looking at a long life anyway. However I was concerned that I would be one of those unlucky few that would experience post-op complications like stomach or bowel leaks, damage to internal organs, infection, gallstones. These things are all possible after the bypass and do happen. Make sure you fully understand what the risks are before you decide. Also many of the complications I listed can happen with bypass, sleeve or band.

My personal experience has been outstanding, I have lost all of my excess weight in a year. I have resolved all of my major health issues (hypertension & diabetes) and am now planning on getting pregnant. I am coming up now on my second Christmas as a bypasser and I can honestly say I don't feel deprived. I can have small amounts of chocolate and the occasional glass of wine, but this does vary from person to person. I have learned some low-sugar recipes for holiday treats so I can enjoy without fear of dumping but I have not dumped over the 13+ months I have been a bypasser. I have only had to be sick after eating one time because I ate too fast & did not chew enough, learned that lesson quickly I tell you! I have been able to keep my love of food (love to eat & love to cook) by making healthy choices and learning a new way to eat. My bypass is the best gift I have ever received and I would do it over and over again.

Best of luck making your choice,
Nic;)[

thanks,

that was a very positive and informative response. It is posts like that make me feel I am doing the right thing. It is great that you have experienced positive benefits to your health. Please keep posting and dont vanish as we need you and your positive outlook on here. Thanks again
Click to expand...
 
Cuppacocoa said:
Hi Leesh,

Before I had my op I put up a post just like yours with the same worries, fears and feelings...was I doing the right thing? Would I be the one in 200 that didn't make it? Would my three children be left without a mum?

Did I feel guilty? Yes of course I did, especially as I had to borrow a huge amount of money and put a financial strain on the family to have the surgery.

I too was a chocoholic and I too was going to opt for a band until I started researching the other options. I went to my surgeon and told him I wanted the bypass and he agreed it was my best option. He told me (I asked!) that 2 of his patients (out of over 400) had died from the surgery and for a while this was all I could focus on. It scared me silly and I found myself really questioning my decision.

But I soon realised it was a risk I was prepared to take and before I knew it my surgery was booked in and the assessment phase under way.

That was 6 weeks ago and already the operation has changed my life. Since the beginning of my journey in September I have gone from over 20 stone to 16.5 stone, a size 28/30 to a size 22 and my confidence and self esteem have already rocketed. :D

No longer do I automatically think people are looking at me thinking 'God she's fat', now they look and I smile to myself that they may be thinking 'coorrrrr I'd av some of that'!! ;):D Who knows what is really going on in their head, but the difference is I don't care, cos I feel so good in myself. :D

I wish you luck with whatever you decide and well done for finding this forum, it will give you all the information you need to help you along the way.

Merry Christmas,
Cuppa xx
Click to expand...

Great response! You go girl!
 
You are all such honest, inspirational people. I have to admit when I first thought about weight loss surgery I did not fully understand the risks involved and part of me wishes I was the sort of person who would just put negative thoughts to one side and just get on with it. Today though I feel positive and inspired and I just cant bloody wait to get rid of this body and start life again. I am a very lucky person in life, I have a lovely family, three beautiful, healthy kids, a job I love and yet I am not truly happy. This is the answer for me and my only hope and I am going to go for it.

just got to play the waiting game now and keep my fingers crossed for the funding. Cuppa, thank you for your reply, It was just what I needed and Caroline too. Just cant wait to get in River Island and spend money I havent got, its going to cost me a fortune!

Lecia x
 
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