Hi You lot.
Its been a hellish week or so. Approx 6 weeks ago I had my 1st fill. They put in 4.5mls. I was told that Mr Ammori had also put in 4mls in surgery. So I am thinking - lets go! I have good restriction etc and after 1st fill I could clearly hear signals my band was giving me to stop eating/chew more etc Over teh past two or three weeks my restriction has dropped drastically. I was feeling horrendous. I was almost eating/binging the same amount as pre op. I was so low feeling like the band isnt going to work for me, I cant even feel it anymore etc I called teh dietician and explained and went a few days ago to have all the fluid removed to "double" check exactly how much was in there. Turned out it was 6.5mls. And the nurse was shocked at my upset. She asked me if anyone had explained that it could take possibly 3 plus fills to reach my desired restriction? And its v common for ist and 2nd fills to gradually feel "slacker". I cant believe it. I cannot describe the upset I have felt over the past few weeks. I thought "I must be doing this wrong".
At the same time too, I was learning to live with the clear signals that the band was giving me initially after the op and especially after the first fill. I was for the first time in my life feeling full, stopping, eating out of hungar etc like "normal" people. What an AMAZING experience. So when this began to rapidly go I went into melt down and blamed myself for being a failure - yet again - with my food dependancy/additction.
So - i have had another ml inserted. I pray to God that this, and the next one of needed will bring me back those signals loud and clear.
In those few weeks I felt that restriction, I was belly laughing, out dancing, socialising because I knew I couldnt harm my body like I used to. And that every single day I was getting better and better. I began to accept myself. Having had a taste of that burst of life and joy of living, I was gutted to have that taken away again.
Sorry folks - needed to let off steam and get that all of my chest.
Anyway - heres to luscious liquids today!
lol I wish you all well wherever you are and however you feel today xx
Its been a hellish week or so. Approx 6 weeks ago I had my 1st fill. They put in 4.5mls. I was told that Mr Ammori had also put in 4mls in surgery. So I am thinking - lets go! I have good restriction etc and after 1st fill I could clearly hear signals my band was giving me to stop eating/chew more etc Over teh past two or three weeks my restriction has dropped drastically. I was feeling horrendous. I was almost eating/binging the same amount as pre op. I was so low feeling like the band isnt going to work for me, I cant even feel it anymore etc I called teh dietician and explained and went a few days ago to have all the fluid removed to "double" check exactly how much was in there. Turned out it was 6.5mls. And the nurse was shocked at my upset. She asked me if anyone had explained that it could take possibly 3 plus fills to reach my desired restriction? And its v common for ist and 2nd fills to gradually feel "slacker". I cant believe it. I cannot describe the upset I have felt over the past few weeks. I thought "I must be doing this wrong".
At the same time too, I was learning to live with the clear signals that the band was giving me initially after the op and especially after the first fill. I was for the first time in my life feeling full, stopping, eating out of hungar etc like "normal" people. What an AMAZING experience. So when this began to rapidly go I went into melt down and blamed myself for being a failure - yet again - with my food dependancy/additction.
So - i have had another ml inserted. I pray to God that this, and the next one of needed will bring me back those signals loud and clear.
In those few weeks I felt that restriction, I was belly laughing, out dancing, socialising because I knew I couldnt harm my body like I used to. And that every single day I was getting better and better. I began to accept myself. Having had a taste of that burst of life and joy of living, I was gutted to have that taken away again.
Sorry folks - needed to let off steam and get that all of my chest.
Anyway - heres to luscious liquids today!
lol I wish you all well wherever you are and however you feel today xx
