How did you partner feel???

[AngelEyezHoney]

I know I'm asking a million and one questions but you are the ppl to ask so I apologise!!! lol

I met my partner at a BBW club, he likes bigger women. His ex was a size 14 and by his own admission 'too thin'. I am terrified that I will lose the weight and then he won't fancy me anymore, even though he said that won't be the case. Initially when I told him I was having the op he said he didnt mind as long as I still had some 'wobbly bits' lol but after seeing some of the pics on here alot of you post oppers are really little now and, apart from excess skin you've said about, you don't look like you have any of the aforementioned 'wobbly bits'!!!

Just wondered if anyone else had/has this concern and what the outcome was. I don't want to lose my partner but obv I want to live and be smaller!

 

[BlueDiamond]

I know I'm asking a million and one questions but you are the ppl to ask so I apologise!!! lol

Dont apologise hun - its the way u find out things by asking xxx

I met my partner at a BBW club, he likes bigger women. His ex was a size 14 and by his own admission 'too thin'. I am terrified that I will lose the weight and then he won't fancy me anymore, even though he said that won't be the case. Initially when I told him I was having the op he said he didnt mind as long as I still had some 'wobbly bits' lol but after seeing some of the pics on here alot of you post oppers are really little now and, apart from excess skin you've said about, you don't look like you have any of the aforementioned 'wobbly bits'!!!

Just wondered if anyone else had/has this concern and what the outcome was. I don't want to lose my partner but obv I want to live and be smaller!

My husbands only concern was the actual surgery, the thought of me being cut open or not making it through the surgery etc, but his been dead supportive and I couldn't ask for better support. As for your predicurement, ask your self why your having the surgery in the first place??? Overweight? Health related problems?? unhappy?? etc etc.....at the end of the day I had my surgery for me, husband or no husband, if my hubby had sed if u get thinner I wont want you anymore ( not saying that your partner has) I would have sed ....Have a nice life theres the door !!! Surely anybody's partner would want them healthier/happier , well thats my tuppance worth LoL - All the best hun xx

 

[suepat10]

My partner and I have had a conversation along these lines.

My partner has a 'thing' for larger, brunette women (and if they are also an Irish nurse he is over the moon!!). His ex was a larger woman (I was going to say lady but that's one thing she ain't!) and I was about the same size I am now when we met.

We've been together for just over two years and during that time he has supported me through numerous failed attempts at losing weight. He has seen me frustrated, he has held my hand when I've been in tears at my helplessness, my feelings that I look like a beached whale.

I told him the doctor was going to refer me and he spent the evening looking at the rsks of the operation as he wants me happy but he also wants me healthy.

I mentioned that I was worried he wouldn't fancy me after the op and his words were 'I love you for you, what's in your head not what you look like. I'll fancy you no matter what you look like as you make me laugh. I'm happier than I've ever been in my life'.

Thank goodness it was dark as I had tears in my eyes. He then went on to say 'You know I love these (grope under covers!) and I'll miss them if they go but if your happy then I am'.


I really don't think you need to worry - though I DO understand your fears. The initial attraction was the physical side of things but now he knows the real you, that's what he wants to be with,

xx

 

[Deets]

To be honest Angel, you may have met through a BBW site but if hes into you, im sure theres a million things he finds attractive

x

 

[Big an Bouncy]

He will love you through thick and thin!Just think how supple and adventurous you will be in the future!And you will have wobbly bits though they may be under your arms or belly!

 

[AngelEyezHoney]

Lol thanks all. He's never said that he doesnt want me to have it although, like your partner Suepat10, he spent days looking at the risks, the long term effects etc and is a little worried at the lack of food and vits etc but have said to him it either that or I could be dead in 10yrs!!!

We only been together 6mths so not hit the love stage yet which is one of the reasons I think I'm scared!!! lol If we were in love with each other would be easier for me but...I guess time will tell!

Thanks again all, think am just trying to get all the panicking etc out of the way asap so I can concentrate on the gd things!!

 

[charm55]

When i met my husband i was a size 14/16, last year befor i had my bypass i was a size 30/32 but my husbands love for me has always been the same he was worried for me when at my biggest because it was affecting my health and was 100% with me when i said about the surgery now i am back to about the same size i was when we got married nearly 38 years ago only then the body was firm now its going south and wrinkly.

 

[AngelEyezHoney]

It just worries me that he'll trade me in for a fatter model lmao never thought I'd have reason to say that!!!
I guess if he doesn't like it then we not meant to be!

 

[suepat10]

They reckon that 6 months is the 'cut off' point which shows whether a relationship is longterm or not, and you've passed there.

I reckon if he was only interested in you for your size he would have made his excuses and scarpered when you started mentioning surgery xx

 

[AngelEyezHoney]

They reckon that 6 months is the 'cut off' point which shows whether a relationship is longterm or not, and you've passed there.

I reckon if he was only interested in you for your size he would have made his excuses and scarpered when you started mentioning surgery xx

I hope you're right! He a really great guy and am really happy so would be horrible if I lost him!!!

 

[blueeyes]

My partner also loves the fuller figure, and I needed to have that conversation with him as well, before the op. I was a size 32 at the time. My partner reassured me that my health is what matters most and he is fully supportive of me having the op and the lifestyle that comes with it.

I guess I know that I am never going to be skinny, and don't want to be either. I know what weight I am going to be happy with and that's definitely still very chunky, so I am not concerned that he won't find me attractive.

 

[phatmomma]

Check my diary out and see how i worried about this too. My hubby loves the fuller figured woman and would love to walk past you in the street. He'd think it was his birthday lol... I decided when contemplating surgery (and not yet having married Mr Phatmomma) that my life and health were the most important thing...

Luckily, despite concerns, my husband still fancies and loves me as much now as he did at almost 300 lbs, however i have another 60lbs or so to go so lets see. I will say that i never regretted going for this op and if he decided i wasn't for him anymore then c'est la vie and bon voyage...

You do what you need, and stuff the others xx

 

[AngelEyezHoney]

Very true Phatmomma! Will have a look at your diary, glad it not jus me panicking about it!

 

[magicbeans]

i agree with charm....i was a lot slimmer when my hubby met me. now he has seen me go up by 5 stones! and its horrible for me but he has had eyes for noone else.

the surgery was my choice and yes he is enjoying seeing the results but hed be there regardless...... true love really is about how well u connect personality wise, attraction does play a part but its not the be all and end all xx

 

[LisaG]

Mine has seen me go up and down 10 stone or more either way. He was incredibly worried about the whole thing but kept saying it was about the actual risks of surgery not what I looked like.

After the surgery he was amazing though....so relieved I think. He was worried at first about how quick I was shrinking and didn't want my wobbly bits to disappear. Now the weight has slowed right down (just a couple of pounds off in last few months) and I'm still 13 stone so I think it's safe to say I'm still going to have plenty of wobbly bits and cuddly bits for him to enjoy for the rest of my life!

Other wonders have come along though that he enjoys....all my nice new clothes, wearing sexy high heels all night without pain, being able to lift me up...etc. I'm sure your man will find plenty of new things about you to keep him interested too

Sent from my iPhone using WLSurgery

 

[Neen]

Mine first met me when I was just under 9 stone and a size 10, we started dating when I was about 11 stone and a size 14/16.
We moved in together and I just steadily got bigger and he never treated me any different.
My top weight was nearly 26 stone (and I'm 5'2") , still together even then despite 2 kids with special needs and me becomming a recluse due to the troubles with kids and my weight.
I had the surgery in 2008 and I am now under 16stone and still want to lose another 5 or 6 at least.
He has seen me at my worst and best and everything in between and we have been together for almost 17 years.
It's you as a person that he should love, not a particular body size that you have at any one time.

 

[Clare*]

Dear Angeleyezhoney...

As a costume designer , ive made many a fatty suit , so if you fancy having some wobbly bedroom antics ... i'll make you one ! hee hee ...xxxx

 

[AngelEyezHoney]

Dear Angeleyezhoney...

As a costume designer , ive made many a fatty suit , so if you fancy having some wobbly bedroom antics ... i'll make you one ! hee hee ...xxxx

:8855: lmfao excellent!!!!