how did your kids cope

[tray]

i really need some advice . my 11 year old son is so scared of me having this op . i have talked about it to him , and shown him this web site to show him that loads of people have the op . but he has started losing his temper, and mouthing off. and crying . how do you reasure them that your not going to die . even tho you cant promise that. did anyone elses kids go through a bad time when you were having the op?

 

[BlueDiamond]

Hello there

I did tell my children about me having the op , but my children are alot older then your son and I guess that made all the difference. Hope he doesnt play you up for too long ,bless him his just worried about his mum.

All the best - MeJulie x x

 

[rybens]

My son was nearly 15 when i had my op and asked loads of questions but was fine about it so cant really help, and my youngest two who were 6/8 never knew as they thought id gone away with work for a few days. Good luck with him hun it must be really hard when you have all the worrys of the op for your self without having to reasure him im sure he will come round its so scary for them to think mum is having an operation x

 

[Sambucca]

Its difficult knowing what to say to the kids as they are all at different ages, maturity levels etc. I was honest with my eldest daughter who was 12 when I had surgery, but with my youngest who was 5 at the time I just told her mommy had to have an operation on her tummy without telling her any of the risks.

If he is "mouthing off" then I would actually take that as a good sign - at least he cares enough to show some emotion. If he has some specific questions, post them on here for him and show him the answers you get. Get him to look at Bospa site which is very factual and contains some stories, and importantly tell him what health problems you face now and in the future if you dont get your weight under control. The risk of you dying from obesity related disease is higher than the risk of you dying on the operating table. Also, see if you can find yoru surgeons stats re complications and mortality rates.

 

[tray]

thanks for your comments . my older kids are worried about it to there 21 and 19 but they know i have to have this doen to improve my quality of life .. i wish i had never told my youngest , it breaks my heart to see him cry and say how scared he is of losing me ......

 

[J-Mo]

My eldest who is 16, said I don't think u need an operation there is nothing wrong with u as u are but if it makes u happy then do it! My youngest who is 15, asked what there chances were of dying during the op & I said about 5% which I had read somewhere. His reply was that was too high a risk & HE was not prepared to take it. It made me chuckle although its a serious subject.

So we sat on net & went thru the risks I have of dying thru being obese to which he replied I was no where near obese (I wish) but if I wanted op he would support me.

I think honesty is the best policy or at least it has been for me up to now. Don't know if that will change once I get my op date.

 

[karenlouisemee]

Children are sensitive to the word fat or obese. when i told my niece that i was going to have an operation on my tummy to make me slim she was quite matter of a fact in telling me your not fat your mine. children who have been brought up around you or a larger person dont see fat they see you.

 

[phatmomma]

Tray, my girls are 12 & 10 and they were worried initially but as others said i told them that if i didn't i could well end up dying of obesity related diseases or with my diabetes i could end up having toes/fingers even feet amputated... Luckily for me i had 2 friends who have had the surgery, 1 who is at goal and one well on the way on her journey so my girls were able to ask them questions which helped them.

If you're on my facebook page ( so many people on there, gawd knows who they are lol) then feel free to give me a shout if you see me on there and put your little lad on i'll answer any questions he may have to the best of my ability xx

 

[tray]

thanks julie. xxx