new knees please

[cherylxx]

hi everyone,

i did a post a few weeks ago about my bad knees and the fact i was scared i may end up in a chair and put even more weight on.
well i was back at docs today. i have used a stick for the last 2 weeks and today she confirmed that i have osteo-arthritus and also suspects i have ligament damage.
she has referred me for some physio to try and keep my knees bending to some degree and has spoken to the social services and asked them to come and assess me for a downstairs toilet.
she wanted me to have a ct scan . she was umming and arrring and then she typed on her screen. i shouldnt have looked but i did. she typed ' patient may be too big for ct scan :cry:'. Am i really that fat that i wont fit into what is often a needed piece of medical equiptment?. how did i let myself get like this and why is it even though i couldnt really have much less of an opinion of myself i still cant find the bloody willpower to diet whilst i wait for my referral to develop .
im so mad at myself. if i was carrying less weight i wouldnt be in this position.
For some reason that i do not know my health is less important than the food i eat..... How sad!

 

[Taz]

Aww no hun it's not sad, it's a very hard routine to break. When I had my knee trouble I had already lost 3 stone. Every time I went to see the consultant he told me I should try to lose weight. I could barely walk so exercise was out of the question but he made me feel 10 times fatter than I was and I wasn't able to do much about it at that time.

The MRI scanners are a bit of a close fit but the CT ones (the Polo's as they are known) are much bigger.

I do think it's shocking though that in a time that is described as an obesity epidemic that some medical equipment is inadequate for us larger people.

Just out of interest, having noted that down did your doctor then offer you any help or advice for losing the weight?

 

[cherylxx]

hi taz,
my doc knows how many diets i have tried in the past as she has celebrated the losses i have and despaired as she watched me put it all back on. she did say she was going to chase up the weight management team and find out how long i am likely to have to wait (she seemed to think it will be a few months 'sigh')
funny how i am feeling fed up because im angry at my weight and yet that makes me want to binge. thats crazy.
i have a cupboard full of slimfast, tesco lighter meal replacements, atkins bars and a few cambridge products.
i need to get a grip and do something. i cant just sit here and wait until my surgery as i could be waiting so long i will have gained another few stones.
sorry, i feel like an attention seeker right now but i just feel so mad, if only i could swap anger for willpower :sigh:

 

[Taz]

You are not an attention seeker you are just like the rest of us! We are all here because we have weight issues. Meal replacements are great if you have the willpower not to eat but I don't so I can see why you have the left overs in your cupboard! Throw them all out!

I used to be exactly the same and hopped on every fad bandwagon going only to fail very quickly. I didn't believe in slimming clubs as I thought they were only out to make money and wouldn't work so I was surprised when I found one that suited me down to the ground. All you can eat pasta and potatoes? Still have chocolate? Now that is my kind of diet!

Seriously though, different things suit different people. While some people excel on CD it would be my idea of hell. SW was the only plan that ever suited me and it may have taken a long time but I am happy doing it and feel much more in control. When you find what will be best for you th willpower will come flooding back x

 

[cherylxx]

i have been on sw several times (u might even remember me from the sw forum, i was the one with the rescued battery hens).
for me sw works short term. i can lose weight at around 1-3lbs a week for about 12 weeks or so then i start to sabotage my own diet by having extra syns. eating something high in syns and thinking ' i wont count that one' , then, thats it, the dowward slope returns.
im not sure if there is a diet i havent done at this point to be honest.
ive even contemplated buying the new acai berry plan but am holding back with caution as the reviews are very mixed on that one.

 

[Taz]

I will PM you with my secret! Of course I remember you, I was trying to think the other day who had the hens! How are they doing? have you asked your doctor to help with the self sabotage issues? I think CBT would work well for that

 

[cherylxx]

the hens (the herby girls) are doing just fine. we get a regular 3-4 eggs a day from the 4 of them and they now have all their feathers back and no longer look oven ready, lol.
whats CBT? probably gonna kick myself when u tell me. hehe

 

[Taz]

Aw that's great! I'd love to have chickens. CBT is cognitive behavioural therapy, it deals with habits etc

 

[margaretmc]

Hi Cherly
I`m sorry to hear about your knees . I`v got it as well in my knees , hips , elbows and even my hands gets sore with it . And I`v been told that I have frozen shoulders . I`m 50 and about 24 st red faced I can`t wait to get the surgery to see if I cant get a better life without as much pain as now . I to have to use a stick and I`v got a wheelchair . Its not very often I got up the town but some times I get the lend of a shop mobility scooter to help me get around . Its easier said than done sticking to diets I know I`m killing myself slowly with the overeating that's why I`m going for the surgery . Keep your chin up hun and I hope everything goes alright for you . Good luck and take care .
MARGARET XX

 

[brett30]

hiya Hun sorry to hear about ur knees .......

about ct/cat scans ...... its mad but the largest they take on normal machine is 17 stones ... it does not sound like much does it ..

how ever one thing i was pleased to hear was i was to large for it also and cause of that i went to another hospital few more miles away but they had a new one and it took larger people up to around 30 stone i think ...

but the best part it was all open and it was not like a coffin cause i hate cat scans they scare me to hell .. i was a nurse for many many years and i know what it was like taking people across for them how scared they where of them ...

so be happy ur larger cause u wont have to do the closed in one lol xx bet of luck with it Hun xx

 

[Taz]

The open one being the 'Polo'? I went through one of those for my head to be scanned and I was so relieved! I am really claustrophobic so I would have freaked if I had to go in an enclosed one

 

[margaretmc]

Hi Taz
You see the polo one do they use that one for the dye test for the heart as well . Good luck and take care .
Margaret xx

 

[brett30]

theres a ct and thats like a polo they can move u up and down and around ... and then theres a cat scan that is like that but a lot larger and u only go in and out .. and its huge and open xx

 

[cherylxx]

thank you for the replies.
margaret, im 36 and currently weigh 22stone 6 (hangs head in shame).
i also have hip, ankle, back , wrist and fingers pain but the knees are by far the worst and the most debilitating.
i also dont go out much but when i do i now use my stick. i look in envy at people using the shopping scooters and i know i could hire them but im soooo self conscious and paranoid and think everyone would stare and would be sniggering and saying ' she is too fat to walk'
i have only recently realised just how low my self esteem and confidence really are.
i made the mistake of trying to do the grocery shopping with hubby last week.
only took my stick and used the shopping trolley to lean against but by the time i got home i was in tears with my knees, it was like a red hot poker driving through them.

 

[margaretmc]

Hi Cheryl
The first few times I was worried about people looking at me but to hell with them if I was walking they would be looking as well . The first time I hired one out in Spain we were out there for 3 weeks and my daughter said mum your stuck at the hotel or getting taxis here and there . Get a scooter it cost 95 euro for the week and its the best money I have ever spent . We could leave the hotel in the morning and be out all day long we went for miles along the beach it was fantastic . Even when my little granddaughter got feed up walking I use to put her on it with me and she luved it to . So dont worry about people just get out and live the best you can .
MARGARET XX

 

[thinkbethin]

Hi Cheryl, why is it that because we are larger we don't have the confidence to help ourselves?? If we were 8 stone and suffered with the pain we wouldn't think twice about having a mobility scooter but being the size we are we suffer for other peoples little minds.I bet when you've had your op and lost weight you would use one wouldn't you?? I have had both CT (polo) scans and the MRI (tunnel) and I fit in that. It was a bit chlostraphobic as I weigh over 19 stone but if you close your eyes as you go in and dont open them till you come out its not as bad. There's a fan blowing inside and music playing so time inside seems to pass pretty quick. Good luck and I hope you get sorted soon. Take care xx Gaynor xx

 

[Taz]

That's interesting Gaynor, I think we are made to feel guilty for any other problem we have just because we are overweight. This is not helped by the medical proffession ramming it down our throats all the time. I always found that they were quick to blame everything on my weight but never offered me any help to lose it. Rather hypocrytical I thought!

 

[cherylxx]

hiya,
i completely agree with u.
if i were a tiny little mini me i wouldnt have any psychological issues with using a scooter at all.
the biggest difference is that a little slim woman in a scooter would gets looks of concern and general sympathy for the situation she is in (although she would still prefer not to be given any attention from the fact she is using a scooter) whereas someone who is large does NOT get such looks from strangers in the street. they are more likely to get looks of disgust and disapproval.
i know in an ideal world i wouldnt care what such people think of me but unfortunately i do care.
i often see larger people wearing shorts in the summer or no sleeves tops and short dresses and i soooo wish i had their confidence.
i even struggle using my stick (psychologically) as i feel people stare at me but i have no option but to use it anymore as i physically can not go anywhere without it.