Btw - dont be to hard on urself...focus on weight loss as this will benefit ur health so much - skin is skin, u can sort that at a later date (if it does become an issue) xxx
I do count myself so very fortunate as I know there are so many people out there my size who are practically house and/or bed bound. I'm still able to get around pretty well, I don't really suffer from any aches and pains, apart from my right knee when I stand too long. I'm not diabetic... yet. The only real co-morbidity I have is high blood pressure. Having said all this, I know that my mental health and all that is associated with it has suffered from my weight. People would be hard pressed to tell it, but I have practically no self-esteem and my inner dialogue with myself is pretty horrible at times. I feel a bit paranoid when out and about as well. But you're completely right. I need to take it one step at a time.
Ooooh and one last thing, if ur "friends" or family dont like ur weight loss then its coz theor jealous! My family have been amazing and so have my friends. Just the odd person who goes "why? Wht dont u just diet?? Pfft seriously??? Go away!!!
People who actually care, understand my weight gain has a massive impact on me and know i have struggled for so long and that i am tieddddd of dieting - hense WLS xx
I haven't told too many people yet, but I've had some very interesting reactions. My oldest is somewhat indifferent at this point, one of my twins is pleased about it in that shoulder-shrugging 13 year old boy way, and the other twin is absolutely ecstatic but he's my little hypochondriac and is hyper aware of health issues!
My husband was as surprised as me when I was referred, but I think he's pleased overall. We have talked some about what this could mean for us, but so far largely only the positives (travelling will be easier, we can go to see plays and musicals because I'll be able to fit in the seats - side note - the seats at Drury Lane Theatre are minuscule for anyone who isn't an anorexic midget!
) but we will need to discuss the other side of the coin. I think he's reluctant to talk about it too much at this point because, well, I've only gotten as far as being referred. He's a practical sort, he likes hard facts. He finds hashing over maybes frustrating.
I've had two people apologise when I've told them that I was referred and also discovered that my weight is a bigger issue with one of them than I ever thought possible. Another person actually cheered and gave me a massive hug. My mom cried tears of joy and I cried with her. My sister isn't pleased, not so much because she doesn't want to see me lose the weight and be healthy, but I think she's worried about the procedure and what might go wrong. She's such a cheery, positive person!
My mother in law is kind of in the same boat as my sister with a healthy pinch of, "you don't need surgery, you can diet and exercise and..." blaaaaah. So, yes, I will need to learn to deal with other people's crap as well as my own during this!
There is a lot of change that happens when you go through surgery other than just the physical changes - a lot of psychological changes too and practical changes.
Confidence changes, what you like/want to do may change - you might want to be more active and do things you haven't been able to do, this could be difficult for a partner if they are happy with how things are now - they might not want to be more active so that might mean you going out without them or changing how you spend your time. They might worry you are not going to want to be with them, or worry that others might find you more attractive.
Your social life might change - if you currently go out a lot for meals or drink a lot you might not want to do this so much after surgery, your priorities might change and sometimes it isn't much fun looking at people eating 3 courses whilst you push a small portion around a plate at the same time as dealing with people's comments or worrying about having to explain to a waiter why you have only eaten a minute amount, or why you want to see the childrens menu. Add to that explaining why you can no longer drink the same or eat sugar/ have dessert and it can make going out stressful.
There might be friction over shopping - your wardrobe will change/be replaced multiple times and even buying cheap that can add up - new underwear, work clothes, gym clothes, jeans, going out clothes, summer clothes, coats, and even shoes as your feet shrink width wise! You will also feel better about yourself and even start to enjoy shopping so it can become addictive! Shopping can lead to friction!
Also transfer addiction is real - no longer on food it could transfer to shopping or alcohol or exercise as we use alternative methods to control our emotions.
I think the important thing is to be open and honest with your partner......... do they understand how your weight makes you feel? Really? The whole truth? Do they understand what you hope to achieve after surgery? Do they know info like above re. Changes that you both may need to make to fit your lives around WLS and how you need things to be to be successful?
If they understand the impact WLS is going to have on both your lives before you go through it then hopefully they will be prepared enough to support you as needed. And you will need their support and understanding.
The important thing is to be true to yourself and to do the right thing for you, hopefully your partner will support you through it all as well!
Good luck!
Hannah, thank you so much for your reply! There's a lot there to consider and remember for the future. At the very least, my mom has already promised to take me on a shopping spree at some point! In some ways I'm very fortunate because my husband and I met on the internet back in 1998, our relationship was founded on talking which is something we still do to this day. I'm hoping that this will help us get through what could be some difficult changes.
... xxxx
