Self image and other folks' perceptions

[slimmerkay]

I have now lost nearly 3 stone, I hit the gym regularly and I had to buy all new clothes recently. I am now 15st 3lb. I feel really good and I'm so proud of myself.

But here is the sting ....

Other people look at me and still think "Fat cow!"

I think even people that know me look and think "Yeah she's done well and looks good but she still has a LONG way to go."

I know those that don't know me at all don't know of my acheivements so you can't really blame them I suppose. It's just sometimes I feel like wearing a T-shirt that says "Hey! I've lost 3 stone in 2 months!"

Mind you, then you would get the nasty beggars that will shout out "Yeah well, only another 10 stone to go eh fatty?"

:sigh:

 

[Bev]

For goodness sake... just say to yourself you ignorant so and so, and do what you are doing FOR YOU!

Regardless what other people think it your time and turn the other cheek, you'll soon be showing them and it's time to say... to yourself... I'm doing what I can and my best, it doesn't really matter what other people think.

Go for it and keep positive! xxx

 

[tranquil_butterfly]

It never used to bother me being big until perhaps the last year or so. My hypertension meds are behind the decision to have surgery. It wasn't until my mobility got so bad that I had to start using a walking stick earlier this year that I got very self conscious and noticed people were staring as I hobbled around.

You have done really well. I think you have to develop skin like a rhino and learn to ignore the stares, the sniggering and the comments. You are doing this for your health first and foremost. 'Fatism' is growing at an alarming rate in this country- and like all other prejudices is borne out of ignorance.

Part of this process for all of us is about learning to love ourselves. It is also about getting a little selfish too - and for once concentrating on ourselves and what is good for us.

Just keep on doing what you are doing. We will all get to where we want to be eventually.

tranquil

 

[Bev]

It never used to bother me being big until perhaps the last year or so. My hypertension meds are behind the decision to have surgery. It wasn't until my mobility got so bad that I had to start using a walking stick earlier this year that I got very self conscious and noticed people were staring as I hobbled around.

You have done really well. I think you have to develop skin like a rhino and learn to ignore the stares, the sniggering and the comments. You are doing this for your health first and foremost. 'Fatism' is growing at an alarming rate in this country- and like all other prejudices is borne out of ignorance.

Part of this process for all of us is about learning to love ourselves. It is also about getting a little selfish too - and for once concentrating on ourselves and what is good for us.

Just keep on doing what you are doing. We will all get to where we want to be eventually.

tranquil

That is absolutely so true Tranquil and it's a case of developing a thick skin, I live in hope of getting my foot through the door of a gym... or swimming pool... and if I do so, it will be for me!

Love and hugs Tranquil.... xxx

 

[dottychic]

Karen, even when I lost nearly 10 stone years ago on SW I still got the stares and the nasty comments and I weighed less than 13 stone so it will happen no matter how much weight you loose. Out there are people who are ignorant and cruel and have nothing better to do than pick at other people, they are not worth bothering about (easier said than done I know) Usually people are like this because they feel inferior themselves. Like Bev said, you do what you can.........for you! Good luck hun XX

 

[Grace]

I do what I do for me and I honestly don't care what other people think. Even those who are thin may suffer with other vices or addictions: alcohol, smoking, drugs, shopping, who knows? We all have our issues. Unfortunately, as with colour of skin or obviously disability, obesity is highly visible and thus able provoke prejudice and nastiness in the ignorant and the plain wicked.

But we all have a soul, we all have feelings, we all have sensitivity. As Shylock says in The Merchant of Venice :"prick me, do I not bleed? Hath a Jew not sense, feelings, emotions?" paraphrase as I can't remember the exact speech......but it makes the point.

under the skin, in our case under the fat too....we're all the same.

Its the kind of viciousness of thinking which allows prejudice which enabled The Holocaust, apparteit, ethnic cleansing...we can go on.
When will we as a race learn, to love and not to judge?
Here endeth my sermon for today!

.....and LOL Yes, I am a preacher!

 

[dottychic]

Wow....I bet your a good preacher too Charis.........very nicely said XX

 

[Bev]

Well said Charis and Jacqui....

I am at the stage in life where I think exactly as you say in your post Charis....

In all honesty... if I were in the gym or a situation where I encountered this... I would be feeling like arranging an accidental 'left hook' in the direction of the person... haha...

Even if we don't it makes us feel better... but no one is worth getting arrested for... we have to accept what we are doing for ourselves and as you say develop a thick skin.

Loving hugs everyone... we most certainly will get there... we have no doubts or uncertainties... and it's our bodies we will do it in our time and our way too!

Don't let negativities eat at you... just do your best for yourself and as cheerfully as possible...

Thinking of you all xxx

 

[Grace]

LOL thanks Dotty! Well I have to say I do love it!

 

[dottychic]

@ Bevs "accidental left hook" .........Im not guilty your honour, I did break her nose but it was an accidental left hook Love it XX

 

[Bev]

Charis, you can preach to me... anytime of the day... any day of the year... it's always truly WONDERFUL to read your posts... you are not only always so cheeful and uplifting but you have many reasons to complain and never do... I really do admire you and if we had more of you 'preaching' in our world I would be so happy....

You are indeed an excellent and inspiring role model with your fantastic attitude to life.

Likewise with you too Jacqui...

Loving hugs and positive feet forward xxx

 

[Grace]

Charis, you can preach to me... anytime of the day... any day of the year... it's always truly WONDERFUL to read your posts... you are not only always so cheeful and uplifting but you have many reasons to complain and never do... I really do admire you and if we had more of you 'preaching' in our world I would be so happy....

You are indeed an excellent and inspiring role model with your fantastic attitude to life.

Likewise with you too Jacqui...

Loving hugs and positive feet forward xxx

ah bless you Bev. I was serious though, I actually do preach in church and at Christian meetings!

 

[Bev]

Give them a left hook! xxx

LOL thanks Dotty! Well I have to say I do love it!

Hahaha Jacqui... I really 'don't need anger management', I'm a calm and collected type of person...

but there are times when....cwhack:

hammering home a point can be a bit satisfying... hahaha....

Now don't let others in life get in your way no matter how they drag you down...

:clap: give yourself a huge clap and take no notice... it's your life and your body!

xxx

 

[Bev]

I know you do Charis... and I'm so very proud of you....

I also give the occasional 'left hook' with my walking stick... haha... love you so much it hurts me to laugh... xxx

 

[Grace]

I know you do Charis... and I'm so very proud of you....

I also give the occasional 'left hook' with my walking stick... haha... love you so much it hurts me to laugh... xxx

LOL I remember wanting to do that when a rather foolish Christian brother told me 'I wasn't walking in victory' as I hobbled on my stick!

I managed to restrain myself but it was hard!

doh time for eye drops! Yeuck I hate them!

 

[Bev]

Accidental left hooks... xxx

I also give the occasional 'left hook' with my walking stick... haha... love you so much it hurts me to laugh... xxx[/QUOTE]

Haha.. you have started me off Jacqui...

xxx:devilangel: haha.. xxxx

 

[Zionaka]

You've done really well Karen don't let the ignoramusses mess with your joy or your acheivement!

We live in a society that only seems to attach value to the waif like standard of beauty.

It is Childish of me, maybe, but but I always think (and often retort) "Yep, I can lose the lbs, but your stuck with that ugly noggin and stink personality", childlike satisfaction!

 

[Bev]

Very well said Zionaka... we must always rise above this sort of derogatory thinking and never be held back... love and hugs xxx

 

[lisa x]

Karen...
I think charis jacqui and Bev had covered this...
I have a thick skin and could not give a monkeys what people think or say about me....
Please have the mindset you are doing this for yourself xx....

 

[Grace]

You've done really well Karen don't let the ignoramusses mess with your joy or your acheivement!

We live in a society that only seems to attach value to the waif like standard of beauty.

It is Childish of me, maybe, but but I always think (and often retort) "Yep, I can lose the lbs, but your stuck with that ugly noggin and stink personality", childlike satisfaction!

LOL!:giggle: