Sick & tired of THIN people telling me not to have WLS

[waynetta]

Hi everyone, I'd just like to say that reading about everyones experiences and feelings is brill. I am sick and tired of all my thin family and friends telling me i'm doing the wrong thing, by having surgery. I'm glad to be able to chat to people who actually understand and don't judge me for not being able to lose weight on my own will power. Sooooo thankyou all for chating with me, it really means a lot. Thankgoodness I found this wonderful site!

 

[misscheeky]

Hi allie, best of luck with your wls. sod them hun its your life i hate it when people get on with that just ignore them hun xx

 

[waynetta]

Hi Becky, I do try to ignore them, but sometimes they all gang up when they are all together, its hard. I must say that the only person who is 100% with me is my hubby, cuz he sees my unhappiness everyday, so I guess I'm lucky with him. Thanks for that chuck.

 

[tesmaralda]

Hi everyone, I'd just like to say that reading about everyones experiences and feelings is brill. I am sick and tired of all my thin family and friends telling me i'm doing the wrong thing, by having surgery. I'm glad to be able to chat to people who actually understand and don't judge me for not being able to lose weight on my own will power. Sooooo thankyou all for chating with me, it really means a lot. Thankgoodness I found this wonderful site!

I was told on saturday by really close friends that i should just cut down stop eating crap and exercise as wls is such a drastic step and the reason other diets have failed is because i was eating to much or cheating. Its a good job i was in someone elses house otherwise I might have just blown my stack. Surely to god if it was that easy i would have been skinny a long time ago,and not be resorting to such a "drastic" measure. Then in the next breathe she said well of coursei dont really know anything about dieting cause i can eat what i like and still look like this. *****

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

hey allie, you do this for you, dont listen to what others say, they are probably ignorant to the facts of what wls is all about, as long as your happy and your hubby is happy thats all thats important.

i wish you good luck on your weight loss journey !

liz x

 

[waynetta]

OOOOh Tes, dont they just wind you up, that is exactly what I get, If I could have done it on my own I would of years ago, before all the backache and such like ailments started. They really just do not understand, they have never experienced the difficulties to everyday living that being overweight brings and the misery! Thanks chuck.

 

[waynetta]

Bless ya Liz and thanx for your comment. I do try and think that this is for ME and my son & hubby, cuz they will also benefit from my new lifestlye, especially my 4yr old who is picking up my very bad eating habbits already!

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

Bless ya Liz and thanx for your comment. I do try and think that this is for ME and my son & hubby, cuz they will also benefit from my new lifestlye, especially my 4yr old who is picking up my very bad eating habbits already!

my son was 4 when i had my op, hes now 8, my op has benefitted him to as i can now play with him, go swimming ect which i would never of done b4. i was honest with him even though he was very young. he understands why i had it done, and he knows how a band works ect, he also knows now whats healthy food choices and not so healthy, its been a good thing for him growing up around wls, as my sis now also has a band like me.

liz x

 

[mermaid2708]

i know exactly how you feel...i lost upto 6 stones in the past...my problem is not the actual dieting...but maintaining, a problems im sure a lot of us have. my mother is thin and aways has been and thinks bulling me into going for a walk with her will help me...NO!!!...i have tried to explain to her that she would not be able to go walking miles carrying herself, and that is what it is like for me...and she is even worse now i have lost weight on my pre op optifast liquid diet...her solution?...why cant i just do the optifast for a week every month for the rest of my life!!! honestly i dont think anyone knows what we are going through internally with our emotions etc let alone our dislike for what is on the outside...thats why i find this forum so good...in the main it is welcoming and encouraging and full of people going through the same weight loss journeys, including 'falling off the wagon' and restarting...and all stories are treated with sympathy and acceptance. i have decided that the time has come that i am infact the most important person that i have to please and i am going to go for it! luckily i have my lovely son (nearly 17yrs old) who is beside me all the way...and i love him for it...thanks spud!!!xxx

 

[Loll]

I delayed my surgery for a year listening to other people. Then I realised I was doing it for me NOT them. What a wasted year

 

[waynetta]

i know exactly how you feel...i lost upto 6 stones in the past...my problem is not the actual dieting...but maintaining, a problems im sure a lot of us have. my mother is thin and aways has been and thinks bulling me into going for a walk with her will help me...NO!!!...i have tried to explain to her that she would not be able to go walking miles carrying herself, and that is what it is like for me...and she is even worse now i have lost weight on my pre op optifast liquid diet...her solution?...why cant i just do the optifast for a week every month for the rest of my life!!! honestly i dont think anyone knows what we are going through internally with our emotions etc let alone our dislike for what is on the outside...thats why i find this forum so good...in the main it is welcoming and encouraging and full of people going through the same weight loss journeys, including 'falling off the wagon' and restarting...and all stories are treated with sympathy and acceptance. i have decided that the time has come that i am infact the most important person that i have to please and i am going to go for it! luckily i have my lovely son (nearly 17yrs old) who is beside me all the way...and i love him for it...thanks spud!!!xxx

Hi Mermaid,Wow not long to wait for your surgery, you must be really excited now?
I know how you feel I try explaining about the carting another person about, but I think they just think i'm making excuses for not walking places. They don't understand how blumin painful and embarrassing walking is. I get sooo annoyed because they don't even try to understand, they just think your a greedy useless waste of space and unfortunatly thats how i feel most of the time! Roll on my surgery date.

 

[waynetta]

my son was 4 when i had my op, hes now 8, my op has benefitted him to as i can now play with him, go swimming ect which i would never of done b4. i was honest with him even though he was very young. he understands why i had it done, and he knows how a band works ect, he also knows now whats healthy food choices and not so healthy, its been a good thing for him growing up around wls, as my sis now also has a band like me.

liz x

Yeah Liz thats why i'm happy he is so young, it's not to late to change his bad habbits! As for hubby he follows my example if i'm bad he is, if i'm good so is he. He will eat whatever I put in front of him....except I don't think he would eat poo, well I hope not!!! lol

 

[waynetta]

I delayed my surgery for a year listening to other people. Then I realised I was doing it for me NOT them. What a wasted year

Thanks Loll, your right we should'nt listen to others. Take care chuck

 

[Lou1973]

My experience isn't of wls but of having a tummy tuck post weight loss - i discussed having a tt with my mum 2 years ago and she put me off - the consequence was i put some of the weight back on coz i hated my body.

This time having relost the weight i decided i was going for it regardless and didn't tell anyone but 2 close friends. I'm now 3 weeks post op and confessed all to my mum over xmas - you know what? she was amazing - once she could see i was safe and well she was really interested and wanted to see the scar/ my new tummy and even started to talk about how she hates her tummy saggy skin and if she was brave enough she'd go for it and a face lift.

It was a bit of a moment for us as although we are close I thought she'd kick off but when we really discussed it it turns out she was worried about me going in for a non medical operation that was driven by a bit of vanity and the possibility I would die, i would have complications etc - it turns out that it's coz she loves me so much that she was so against it she just couldn't express it very well.

Thought I'd share for a couple of reasons 1) if you really want wls go for it - only you can make the decision and know if it's right for you 2) for those that you don't feel are supportive maybe try and find out why - particularly if it's unusual as there may be an underlying fear that they just aren't very good at expressing

Hope you don't mind me crashing your thread - good luck with your decisions

 

[hopelesscase]

I was told by the endocrainolgist that without Wls no matter how much dieting i would never get rid of all my excess weight and secondly i wouls have a constant battle keeping it off. You have proffessional medical people advising that this is the right thing to do. Go for it and leave the doubters eating there words.

 

[Brunetteandred]

Tell the doubters that they don't walk in your shoes, live in your head or pay your bills; you do all of those things and until the day they do them for you (which is when hell freezes over), then they have no right to judge you or what you do.

 

[waynetta]

Thankyou everyone for your comments, they are really appreciated. x

 

[LizzieBee]

:family2:My family & close friends have been really supportive, just one big friend was negative (perhaps a touch of the green eyed monster?).

The 'thin' cannot possibly understand the amount of physical and emotional energy we spend on our weight/food issues.

:raincloud: I think fear and ignorance brings out agressive negativity in some people.

arty0011: Happily, there is this great forum filled with supportive, understanding cyber friends to pick us up when others pull us down!

Thank you all! :thankyou:

Lx

 

[waynetta]

:family2:My family & close friends have been really supportive, just one big friend was negative (perhaps a touch of the green eyed monster?).

The 'thin' cannot possibly understand the amount of physical and emotional energy we spend on our weight/food issues.

:raincloud: I think fear and ignorance brings out agressive negativity in some people.

arty0011: Happily, there is this great forum filled with supportive, understanding cyber friends to pick us up when others pull us down!

Thank you all! :thankyou:

Lx

I agree, this is a brilliant forum, thanks all. x

 

[weight loss hopeful]

Hi everyone, I'd just like to say that reading about everyones experiences and feelings is brill. I am sick and tired of all my thin family and friends telling me i'm doing the wrong thing, by having surgery. I'm glad to be able to chat to people who actually understand and don't judge me for not being able to lose weight on my own will power. Sooooo thankyou all for chating with me, it really means a lot. Thankgoodness I found this wonderful site!

We all know what it feels like to be fat and treated differently. Only someone who has gone thru it will understand. All your thin family and friends mean well, but dont understand what your going thru. Even the people who dont comment on your weight, are sometimes thinking why doesnt she go on a diet. There are very few people who dont have an opinion on people like me (fat people). They do exist tho, nice people without prejudice do exist, Im one of them.

Try not to let them get you down. You are going to do something about it, thats what matters and takes a lot of guts. Congrats on making the decision to get wls. I wish you all the luck for a smooth surgery and speedy recovery. Take care R x