support

[pinkprincess77]

Can anyone both pre op and post op please tell me did you have the support of loved ones. I am in the process of getting a date for a gastric sleeve. However I have only told my mum and dad and my partener my plans. The problem is my dad and my partener are dead against it. My mum is not happy with it but she said she wants me to be happy which she know that im not currently and she respects my decision. My partener as said he will come to the hospital with me but he doesn't want me to have it done. My dad is saying it's not natural and too drastic. As anyone been in the situation? I want ut doing because I hate the way I am at the moment and don't want to die young but I also dont want to upset my dad and my partner. X

 

[Samsara]

I am pre-op. I don't currently have a partner but when I did, he wasn't keen and thought it was too drastic. He wouldn't have stopped me having it done though. My Mum is supportive. I haven't told my Dad yet. My best friend is supportive. I haven't told anyone else yet and probably won't tell anyone else now until I've had the surgery (with the exception of work as I will have to take time off sick and it will be written on the sick note :/) I'm pretty strong-minded and know this is what I want! I don't have a fear of surgery or death either so that doesn't worry me.

 

[Mr Doo]

Hi Pinkprincess77
My wife is 100% behind me & so are my 4 children ( thats who matters to me )
As for family & friends....why should others thoughts matter/affect you decision making about your future.
This is a huge step for you & 1 you didnt make lightly of, stay strong & focused
goodluck

 

[bubbaloo82]

Hi Pinkprincess77
I totally understand where your comin from! Although i have a partner that is 100% behind me... i also have others that r not quite so keen! my dad is dead against me have the bypass... an as much as i respect his opinion... this is my decision (which i might add has not been off the cuff) 2 make my future brighter... stay stong an follow your heart x jo x

 

[rickysmrs]

you have got to do what is the best for yourself regardless of selflesness its about health issues at the end of the day would u go for ur heart op if u needed one??? I personnaly have the support from my hubby and two teenage children they have seen the big change in my health these last few years and we are all hoping it will help. My mother in law is not so keen and keeps sending hubby news clippings from the paper of scare stories so ive started cutting out success stories and sending them back to her. at the end of the day they are just worried for you which i totally understand but like i said above your health out weighs the rest good luck xx

 

[pinkprincess77]

I know what you mean its only because they care but like you said its my health and happiness at the end of the day. Yes there may be complications but my weight problems will continue to cause health problems. I feel that I am putting my self at more risk being obese than I am going in for surgery. And im sure theyll be fine with it once im out of theatre anf my weight starts to go down. Xx

 

[ccoe]

It's so tricky isn't it. Family get worried for you but your already consumed with worry about yourself. We can only hope that as we become healthier they will see it was worth it x

 

[Beth72]

Know what you mean about lack of family support. I've got a surgery date booked for gastric sleeve & my husband & 1 close friend are the only people I'm choosing to tell. My mother is unfortunately very fattist & has always goaded me about my weight to the point where it's really affected my self esteem & ultimately made me gain rather than lose weight. The time I mentioned fleetingly that I was considering surgery, she was again very negative about it going wrong & risk could die etc, so I've decided it's best not to tell her as she hasn't anything positive to say, plus she'd tell everyone too - not a great relationship really. My hubby thinks she'd actually be really jealous if she saw me losing weight & would have nothing to pull me down about!

Hubby is supportive now he's come round to the idea & actually came along to see the consultant with me (after my initial consultation) & it helped to ease his anxieties & give me added confidence to go ahead too. Saying that, he still thinks my other option would be to go to slimming clubs as the preferred option, but as we all know, the weight loss is short lived & 9 stone to lose would take forever & a day!

I've chosen not to tell anyone I work with especially as I don't know how I'll get on with the sleeve & working in an office full of women, it can be *****y & gossipy sometimes & wouldn't want the added stress of being judged or deemed to have 'taken the easy option', which in reality is anything but! X

 

[pinkprincess77]

I think that is a common misconception it's the easy way out and people are quick to pass judgement. It is far from the easy way out. I have only told my parents and my partner and his mum to me that is the only people that need to know. I've choose not to tell my sister as she as always been slim and she once made the comment of surgery is for people who just don't put the effort in to losing weight. I think once surgery is over with and my dad and partner see that I'm happier and healthier they will be 100% behind me. I think the main concern with them is that I nearly died when I had my son due to complications with my c section. X

 

[Lincs Lass]

My parents were quite 'cool' about the whole thing, in the last week before the op began to be more supportive and since we have been closer than ever before.

I think a lot of the negative feelings they had was fear - maybe that is at the root of your fathers concerns? xx

As for siblings, pah! Mine are uninterested and in my younger sister's case very dismissive but I don't care - I will have many more years with my son than I thought I'd have!

 

[pinkprincess77]

Im hoping my dad will come round to the idea closer to the time. He just keeps saying you've done welk losing weught so far just keep on wuth it, surgery isnt natural. The thing is I've lost 5 stones before and then put it all back on plus a extra 3 stones. I know the sleeve will help me keep control. X

 

[bubloo]

stay strong hun

 

[Leda]

Hope you are all doing great x