telling people

[sarahdia28]

How many of you have had people make remarks about you going for the surgery and how did you cope. My oldest friend has made me feel guilty for having op.

 

[Paula Garner]

If they make you feel guilty, it's their problem not yours. You have decided to do something that's going to improve your long term health, that's a positive not a negative thing. If your friends have an issue with it, so be it. Set them straight and take no notice xx

 

[sarahdia28]

Thanks that's what my other half says. I take thinks to heart and needs to stop letting people get in my head. I know I've tried everything over years. And life is going to be better after op.

 

[beckaboo]

Hiya I totally agree with Paula, it's her issue not yours!!! Good to hear your OH is supportive!
One of my friends didn't actually come out & tell me that she disagreed with the op but she really distanced herself from me before & after & I'm sad to say that our friendship has never really recovered I don't know if it was that she didn't agree with it (she's a total fitness freak) but she did ask me several times why i thought I couldn't do it "on my own"... I suppose if you've never been in our situation you'll never really understand x

 

[sarahdia28]

Thanks had a good cry and feel better now oh half been a star been with me every step of way. Think cos I've got my date to go see surgeon starting to feel real

 

[lyzzyanne]

I was careful with who I told, I told my mum the night before because I knew she would worry, I only told very close friends because I don't think its anyone elses business. The ones I told were supportive and have remained so throughout.

I had a couple of people at work start mumbling as they guessed what was going on and were some how upset because I hadn't confessed to them what I was doing, so I decided to write the two of them a note putting them in their place, admitting to having the op and strongly saying I resented the fact that they felt they could probe into my private situation and I expect the same frankness with me when something personal happens to them ! They squirmed!!!

 

[sarahdia28]

My mum and sister have both had op mum 10 year ago sis 5 so family are fine only told a few friends who I thought I could tell. Put me off telling people now. Guess some people will judge and that's there way. Other people I've told have been supportive asked questions about it and have been great need to focus on that

 

[ThinnerJemima]

Most people are so judgemental and not supportive in my world.

I told 2 friends, 2 gym staff that need to know, my husband (although not told him about bypass yet, but it won't be too much of a surprise with the problems I've been having).

Who else needs to know my personal medical history, certainly not work colleagues. Tell 'em you've had your women's bits sorted, that will get rid of the male comments, tell the women you've had your piles sorted.

 

[borogirl]

I have told anyone and everyone. Not had one bad word said and just immense interest and support from friends, family and strangers also.

 

[sharynt]

I was dreading telling my sister. She also has problems with her weight but due to a medical condition that she has she is unable to have any ops. I somehow felt like I was rubbing her nose in it. She was of course great about it! My mum (who has had eating disorders for as long as i can remember) just said "I cant imagine you being skinny"! Lol You can never be totally sure of what people are going to say. My hubby has been great.

 

[ClaireMarie]

The only negativity I've had really has been concern from my sister at the danger of the operation, she worries anyway. I'm surprised she doesn't risk assess my whole life.

My husband is a little worried too.

 

[sarahdia28]

My other half is worried but trying to hide it.

 

[ClaireMarie]

My other half is worried but trying to hide it.

I think it's natural that they worry.

 

[cazmic6]

hi im not bothered about telling people but have had lots of differant reactions mostly good and people understanding why ive decided to do it but people thinking im stupid, which to be honest is more family in laws mainly,they have alot of larger people in their family but still think its my fault and that if i really wanted to lose weight myself i could, my sister in law doesnt want me to have it but i think its because i wont be the biggest anymore and they wont beable to make jokes at my expence anymore. my mam was really scared at first but then when she relised its being done more and more shes really happy and wants me to do i for me i think as long as its what we want and need it it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks but it is easier with support x

 

[sarahdia28]

That sound awful in laws like that need a slap lol just enjoy the day you walk in looking fab and they all jealous. I've got my head round what my friend said and now think bugger her I've got my whole family behind me that's all that counts. Either way im having op and get married next year so got a positive to keep me going when im down.

 

[cazmic6]

congrats on getting married next yr and like i say it something ur doing for u and thats all that counts, i think my in laws r just the type of people who think medical intevention is wrong but my sister in law doesnt want me to be smaller than her i think anyway but my husband is very supportive and so r all my family so ive got a lot of people behind me good luck with ur journey hun x

 

[sarahdia28]

Thank u. We all know these ops are not easy option and been down all diet routes glad you got your family behind u. Do u know when u be having op or which kind

 

[cazmic6]

Im having the bypass hopefully ive seen the nurse and dietician and im meeting the surgeon on 28th may and have been told it will prob be end of june beginning of july but no date yet do u know what ur having and when

 

[sarahdia28]

See consultant on 22nd may bypass too so we be round about same time

 

[joujou]

so have such a lack of confidence for so long due to my weight I too care what people say and think, so my mum and my OH know and that's it.

now you ask me in 6 months time how I feel about telling people, maybe I'll be telling them all how its no 'easy fix' and yes I follow a diet every day of my life whilst my band is in.

maybe its a spot of envy or jealousness as boy oh boy are you going to look and feel great! and they know this!

why wouldn't these so called friends be happy for us and support our decisions ? imo its just down to sour grapes mostly. so tell the people you most trust and in time you may wish to tell the world?!?!