What Shall I Do?

[Neen]

I would say Rosabel, don't say anything to your folks. It's going to fall on deaf ears at the moment.
Just try to let the silly unparentlike comments (I am seething on your behalf about those I'm sorry) go in one ear and out the other. No parent should put conditions on their love or emotionally blackmail their kids...I'm pretty sure we wouldn't do it to our kids so why on earth are they??
Same goes for you Yorkiegirl and if I can do anything to help you as well, please say.
I have some good hypnosis girls, that covers things like self esteem and emotional eating.
I would still try and consider putting your foot down and taking a rain check on some visits...just say you feel ill if you have to..but that constant undermining of your self worth is not helping and I wish I could give your parents a piece of my mind.
I get very angry as I have had similar from some of my family years ago and it really yanks my chain to hear it happening to others.
Get your daily intake and thoughts down in a diary on here so we can keep an eye on you both xxxxxxxxx

 

[Rosabel]

Thank

 

[dottychic]

Wishing you well with your new eating plan hun.....I hope you are feeling a bit better (HUGS) XX

 

[Rosabel]

Thanks Dottychic,i am a little better xxx

 

[Neen]

You know what Rosabel, I have been worrying so much about you. Unfortunately I know your Dad is wrong so it's very difficult for me to answer you tactfully.
I do want to help you though and I can see from what you've put and how you write that this man has a huge impact...I am pretty sure he's a lot more robust than he makes out.
I am afraid I find what he is doing appalling.
I think you are going to have to find the courage to put your foot down, either he stops badgering or you refuse to see him.
You are a grown woman and it comes down to this...do you want to lose weight or do you want to keep him sweet?
I think you are going to have to say again that his help is having the opposite effect and if he can leave you to it you will do a lot better.
All this emotional blackmail is far too damaging and he should know better, I'm sorry x

He is not an expert on weight loss and certainly needs to realise that unconditional love for your children means he should love and support you even if you are 30 stone and blue with pink spots.


I am going to help you as much as I can but unless you can find the courage to say enough is enough then you are going to have extra emotional pain all through an already difficult process.
Any health or emotional problems your dad has or suddenly develops are NOTHING to do with you or what you do directly...you must get that clear in your head because it is so important to your ability to succeed with this and anything else.
He is responsible for his own state of health and mind and damn well old enough to realise it and I think know full well that this is hurting you

 

[Rosabel]

Thanks

 

[Neen]

Hmm...OK well you are going to have to make him aware that stress actually makes the body hang onto fat as a survival mechanism and also maybe use the excuse that you are going to do some exercising and need to postpone so many visits to fit them in.
Honestly none of the above is just an excuse either...the stress bit hampering fat loss is true.
Tell him you eat when you are stressed and his constant asking what you are doing and checking and telling you that you haven't done enough is causing you to eat to calm down
...which is true I'm guessing x