what sort of reactions have you had to the news of you going for WLS?

[Red 42]

I've just arranged band surgery today (25th May at Dolan Park) and both myself and my Husband, who came with me to the consultation are very well informed on what the process will entail.
When he told his Brother tonight of my intended surgery, his reply to my Husband was 'how can you let her do that?!!! bearing in mind that my Brother -in-Law is verging on 25 stones in weight, I would have thought that he may have been slightly more sympathetic to the cause!
what have you all experienced in your journeys?
I'm sure I'll have the last laugh

Red xx

 

[ditsy_dame]

My real friends backed me but were worried because I have liver disease which made wls more risky, in fact it postponed my surgery for an extra year while the surgeon researched the risks. When I got diabetes, it then made the risk of not having the surgery more than having it. A lot of people said stupid things to me like "why don't you just eat less" as if I hadn't been on diets half my life. Now my weight loss is becoming really noticeable, I'm not sure whether I will tell people I've had wls. A lot of people are very snippy about it, say it's "cheating" or taking the easy way and it isn't. It so isn't, it's one of the hardest things I've done and I've had to wait 3 years from first referral by GP to finally being 5 weeks post op with a sleeve. Best thing I ever did for myself but it is NOT an easy option, and I hate it when people say it is.

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

i told everyone and i had mixed responses, the negitive comments either came from ignorant people that do not understand wls and have only ever read negitive articals in magazines or programmes on the tv, or other negitive comments can come from people around you that are jellous, or want to keep you fat as it makes them feel better thro there insecurities, i say stuff them, do this for you and only you, what other people think isnt really important.

on the other hand my family has been really supportive, my mums 80 in june, she has me and my sister with bands and a grandaughter with a bypass, shes very supportive but doesnt understand the ops fully but has been brilliant with the 3 of us, wls also brings out your true freinds and you will find out who they are very soon by how they react to your news.

 

[yasmine-samara]

I totally agree. When you decide to have WLS it is because you have exhusted all other avenues and have committed to making massive changes for the rest of your life. people can be too quick to comment when they know very little about WLS or the reasons people opt for it. My sister made me sooooooooooo angry when she said she didn't agree with me having surgery when there are people waiting for surgery who can't get funding. She thinks it is cosmetic surgery and shouldn't be funded by the NHS as it was a waste of resorces - and that was my sister!!!!!!!!
stupid b*tch. She smokes and has done for 20 years and she also drinks to excess but gets very defensive if you tell her so and when I told her that she will end up costing the NHS more in the long run due to her poor lifestyle choices she went balistic!!!
I was a county standard athlete and I gave my athletics up partly due to a re-occuring shoulder injury and partly cos my dad had an affair with one of the young athletes who happened to be my best friend at the time!!
He was stripped of all his coaching certificates and was told to leave the club and I was tarred and feathered too even though I knew nothing about what was going on. Nevertheless, I piled weight on due to the drastic lack of activity and I was comfort eating to mask the pain and the isolation of it all.
I was a right daddy's girl at the time and he was my world. I felt so betrayed and vunerable and it is only now that I have been through councelling that I can actually talk about it.
I also ate my way through a very unhappy marriage and due to my very low self esteem I stayed in the relationship cos' I felt I didn't deserve better. 11 years later and with two little girls aged 1 & 3 at the time I found out my then husband was actually GAY so then the unhappiness continued and I continued to comfort eat and the viscious circle carried on!!!

So............ I say to all those people who are quick to judge and throw their two penny's worth in - please take a step back and examine you own life first before you even consider to pass comment and try and see things from the other side for once in your very shallow lives. People who become seriously obese actually do have underlying reasons as to why and how they became so large and what right do you have to make them feel uncomfortable, worthless, failures who can't stop eating!!!!!!!

there.....my rant now well and truely over!!!
so sorry to highjack your thread.....lol


xxx

 

[Red 42]

thanks for your replies

I've struggled with my weight mainly since I was 21 and sustained injuries after being run over by a 14 yr old joyrider ...I was sick for 4 months and comfort ate my way through those months after the accident...like everyone else on here I've done just about every diet going, but had most success with the Cambridge diet and got down to 14st (my lowest weight since around the age of 17)

My Brother in Law also did the CD at the same time as me (well, once he saw me succeeding on it ) so he knows how difficult this weight loss thing is...what I find hard to understand is why he turned it around on my Husband :copon:

anyway, regardless of what he or anyone else thinks, I've got to do this for my health and it was MY choice...my Husband has always loved me any which way I 've been and has never complained, not once:love: , he's fab!

another question for you all is...those of you that have Kids (we have a 16 year old Son)...when did you tell them about your op? before or after the event?

thanks for listening..Red xx

 

[hopelesscase]

i have been open with everyone and havent had any negative comments. I have to laugh though as when i go in the office now a few of the girls will say dont stand next to me you skinny mini but they always add you look absolutly fab.
My friends have been so supportive both pre op making soups etc and post op giving me clothes as i have gone through size barriers.
Two of my dearest friends have had a complete overhaul of their eating habits and have both lost nearly 2 stone as once i had had my op they realised that surgery wasnt for them but knew they needed to address their weight.
ignorance is an awful thing but i can truly say i havent encountered it to date

 

[hopelesscase]

i have a 20yr old and i told him before. He in effect is my next of kin although i have my sister down but feel that to be honest for me is the best policy.

 

[yasmine-samara]

I have two little girls that will be 3 & 5 in june and I told them last week that mummy will be going into hospital for a few days cos' I will be having an operation on my tummy to help me lose weight and feel happier and my eldest daughter asked me "will it make your tummy straight down like mine" as she is very slim and I told her that it would eventually but not right away and that I will have to be careful and not eat too many sweeties and that I will have to do my exercises and she said " ok mummy, I will help you". It made my eyes fill up and I had a big cry to myself once she had gone to bed. I always try to be as honest as possible with my kids as sometimes white lies can have a habbit of bitting you on the bum!!
It has paid off and I have great kids for which I am thankful. When I was taking them up to bed my youngest asked me to carry her and the older one told her that once I have my op she won't be able to be carried to bed for a little while until my tummy gets better - how cute!!!
I have my duodenal switch op on thurs.

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

another question for you all is...those of you that have Kids (we have a 16 year old Son)...when did you tell them about your op? before or after the event?

thanks for listening..Red xx

hi red firstly im sorry to hear about the hard time you have had hun xxx

i have a son but hes only little, he is 8 and 1/2 now but was 4 when i 1st had wls, ive always been honest with him prior to surgery, i explained what i was having done at the time and why in terms he could understand for his age then he's now 8 & 1/2 and has been brilliant, since then my sister has been banded and his cousin has had a bypass, i feel its benefitted him as hes very aware and understanding towards larger people and has grown up with knowing nutritional values of his food intake and is very healthy.

thats my experience with telling my son but i dont know how to deal with telling teenagers, as i have that part to come yet lol.

liz x

 

[ditsy_dame]

My husband and kids were aware that I was going for wls all the time. They were supportive, especially as the first attempt was stopped when i was already on the table and under a general because of how my liver looked. I got so depressed after that, that when the chance came up again with the same surgeon, they were happy for me. I didn't tell them about the 5-10% extra risk of my dying on the table because of complications until after it was done. I knew I wasn't gonna die, and they didn't need to think I might. My kids range form 29 to 13. I have 5, 4 girls and 1 boy. They were and are great.

ETA - Yasmine Samara good luck for your op!!

 

[Red 42]

thanks all...I'll be telling our Son probably this weekend, he's a sensible lad but my initial thoughts were not to upset him before his exams (he's in the throes of GCSE's) but he's not daft and would figure it out

Yasmine - good luck for Thursday

Red xx

 

[corrine82]

I to have been really lucky all my friends and family have been supportive and helped me along the journey !!
I have two children age 5 and 2 my oldest i told him mummy was going into hosital to help mummy get rid of her fat belly he is still to young to fully understand but they have noticed the differance just this morning my son said to me mummy you are looking very pretty i almost cried ..... This was yes first of all for my me and my health but i also did this for my children and anyone dare give me any negative attitude towards my decision and i would tell them i did this so my kids grew up with a mum lets see them come back on that !!

 

[yasmine-samara]

I to have been really lucky all my friends and family have been supportive and helped me along the journey !!
I have two children age 5 and 2 my oldest i told him mummy was going into hosital to help mummy get rid of her fat belly he is still to young to fully understand but they have noticed the differance just this morning my son said to me mummy you are looking very pretty i almost cried ..... This was yes first of all for my me and my health but i also did this for my children and anyone dare give me any negative attitude towards my decision and i would tell them i did this so my kids grew up with a mum lets see them come back on that !!

Well said!!!

I am doing this journey for 2 reasons:
My kids
for me

My partner sent off a few pictures to a website called see www.yourselfslimmer.com as I said once in jest that I couldn't remember myself slimmer at all and when you have been big for a long time it is hard to think back. So..... secretly he sent some pictures of me to them via email and had them airbrush me slim and I was amazed when I came home one day to find them stuck on the kitchen wall. I will try and upload a few later so you can see.
When my little girl saw them she said that she like the picture when I was straight down better(meaning without the lumps and bumps...lol)
The honesty of young children splits my sides at times!!!!

Doh.......I posted that my op was thurs but it is actually tues!!
How could I get that wrong....lol!!!

 

[shelbell]

I haven't had any negative responses at all, but I think part of this is down to the fact that were WLS is concerned, I won't take cr@p from anyone, which shows in your face when you're talking about it!

My best friend put things the best along the journey, she said for her it's like seeing me go back to the old me that she first met when I was slim and healthy (and age 9 lol).

 

[teen]

I also have had no negative responce Freinds and family were worried because it was mager surgery but all stood by me. Peter didnt want me to have it done but also stood by me cause its what I wanted, he was worried cause of the op and lost 2 stone with worry prior to me having it done

 

[brett30]

every one i have told have been behind me 100% there has been worries but its the same of any operation.

but i found i had heart issues and breathing probs so the operation is going to help my life so much ..

everyone around me says they would jump at the chance of weight loss help.

i come from a family of a mum and 2 sisters who have fought with weight all there life's and all of them would love a band or bypass.

so i guess i have been lucky .. as well as showing them what the process is and the operation on you tube .. as well as before and after of people.. they think its fantastic im doing this.

and all my friends are supportive and wish me well..

however there is people out there who are nasty toward this kinda thing and think you should not of got your self this way in the first place.. but i couldn't give a flying F*** what others think and how rude they wanna be thats there sad life and im not in it..

so i guess im a lucky one .. and plus i don't hide it i explain it in full if anyone asks to let them know this is not the easy way out..

 

[phatgirl]

I have had only positive reactions when I have told anyone. I was prepared for more resistance but it didn't happen. I have told anyone who wants to know that my health was way in the danger zone and this was my shot at getting a nice, long life. The only person that said anything remotely negative was one of my sister's friends. When my sister told her she said 'why would she have that surgery?' which made me laugh. You see this girl struggles with her weight and self-image and always looked up to me as someone who made big okay. She just couldn't image why I would want to be thin, but when my sister started talking about the health benefits she said 'okay, now I get it' and was very supportive. Lol, it was a real pleasure to find people so supportive. It has made it easier for me.

Nic

 

[Brunetteandred]

I have two teenage daughters who are well aware of my struggles with my weight and the ongoing physical & psychological issues that go with it all.

I told my OH and my girls first of all. I sat them down and went through it all with them and my reasons for wanting to go through with it. They were afraid for me for the op itself, but have been incredibly supportive and watch me like a hawk regarding my medication! lol!

I research everything to the nth degree, so they knew it was not a flight of fancy or on the back of Fern Britton.

As time drew nearer, I told my brother, my nephews and nieces and also my closest friends. They were all massively supportive as again, they knew I had made an informed decision. They asked lots of questions about the procedure and what it entailed, which I welcomed!

I have not told my colleagues yet and am not sure I will to be honest. I am a very private person and believe that once you tell someone something, it is an invitation for them to take part in your life in that respect. As this is a part of my life that is intimate, I reserve the right to be choosy who shares it with me!

 

[Mazza]

I havent really had a chance to tell many people yet as I am still at home after the op. Also the turnaround time between 1st appointment and op was so quick only my nearest and dearest know. My lovely mum was so pleased I decided to go for it and has even helped with funding it, she is too ill to have WLS but would have loved to have it.

I have chosen not to tell my daughter, she is 6 and is allready body aware and thanks to her dad (ex husband) worries about 'being fat', she hasnt got an ounce of fat on her at 4ft and 4 stone. I have just told her I am on a healthy diet and she seems happy with that.

When I get back to work I may tell the people I think need to know.

 

[Red 42]

thankyou all again...I think I'll have to be up front at work as I'd much prefer they hear it from the horses mouth than by chinese whispers, but not sure yet how to go about it...perhaps a global e-mail may do the trick.
I don't think my parents and in-laws will understand why I'm doing something more drastic as they couldn't understand why I did the Cambridge Diet, but I may be wrong and am just anticipating their reactions.
its good to hear that most of you have had mainly good responses to which ever wls you have had and hopefully I could also be one of those good responses once I get the courage up to spill the beans

Red xx