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What was the last straw?
- Thread starter LBD
- Start date
quetiapina
Bumps along somehow
I'd been umming and ahhhing for a couple of years - but it seemed like something only celebs had. I made up my mind when I gained back a lot of the weight I had lost with support of the Weight Management clinic on a down phase of my bipolar. I realised then that I was always going to be hovering around 22-25 stone and that it quite simply could not go on. I was 40 and morbidly obese, I didn't want to be in a mobility scooter by the time I hit 45. Despite my weight I am very active and couldn't handle the aching feet and legs, the sheer exhaustion of carrying my weight along. I hate being the woman mountain in photo's ( even worse as my friends are all short and thin). And I hate that I will avoid seeing old friends and relatives because I am so ashamed of my weight and worry what will be said when I'm not there.
Anyway, I started researching and the Consultant was supportive but warned me that he'd never successfully referred anyone to the Welsh Assembly Health Comittee thing. Even on one person with a BMI of 80+. I knew then that somehow I was going to have to get the cash somehow, and by the next week I'd fallen beneath the minimum for referral of 50 BMI anyway. I continue to get support from the Specialist Weight Management clinic. The psychologist is particularly helpful, helping me to challenge my relationship with food which has it's roots in childhood etc. Sorry, have rambled a bit!
Anyway, I started researching and the Consultant was supportive but warned me that he'd never successfully referred anyone to the Welsh Assembly Health Comittee thing. Even on one person with a BMI of 80+. I knew then that somehow I was going to have to get the cash somehow, and by the next week I'd fallen beneath the minimum for referral of 50 BMI anyway. I continue to get support from the Specialist Weight Management clinic. The psychologist is particularly helpful, helping me to challenge my relationship with food which has it's roots in childhood etc. Sorry, have rambled a bit!
tesmaralda
New Member
I have been looking into this for a while (about 18 months) after injurying my back and being told by drs that it was my weight that was the problem. I looked into the cost of private because I never tought for one minute that I would qualify on the NHS and couldn't afford it so put it out my head.
I was sent for an MRI scan as Physio, Accupuncture and medication were not releiving the pain. The Consultant at walsalll manor refused to send me for one as he told me my problem was bsically that I was lazy and needed to get out more and not sit watching tv. OMG what an embarrassing palava from start to finish. They had no gowns so gave my pair of blue scrubs the largest they do, after shoe horning myself into bith the top and bottoms I was afraid to breath let alone sit down or move. Neither the top or troussers would cover what they should and looked like they had had a falling out with each other and my belly was there in the middle as referee. I just wanted to run away, hide in a dark place and cry. The woman who does the scans came out and said she would be about 15 mins if I could take a seat, to which my reply was I don't think the troussers would be able to take the strain. She looked at me then with horror looked at what I was wearing and said "you should have been given a gown" I told her there weren't any and was given these to put on. She ran and found some gowns and I had to then prise myself out of the clothes. I nearly didn't get into the machine as I just about managed to go in with lot of positioning of elbows and arms etc. Then I nearly got stuff coming out and suffered friction burns not nice. Arthritus has been sort of dianoised as a result however...
At my pain clinic I was told by the jumped up old physio that my problem was general wear and tear and loads of people my age have it with out pain and that it was infact my weight that was the problem, I sat there and took it all in, she tut tutted when I got on the scales as I had put weight on scince seeing my gp the weeks before. Her answer was to send me on a six week exercise programme to show me how to take gentle exercise, and show me relaxtion techniques to help with the pain, aand that I needed to be more active, and not sit watching the tv all day (how with a 2 year old i manage this is beyond me). Then I saw the dr who again was going on about my weight and proceeded to tell me that because my big belly was pulling me forward it was putting enormous strain on my lower back. I lost the plot big time and went off on a spiel about how none of the drs took my requests for help seriously and just kept handing out tablets which incidently I had put on 3 kilos in just over a week. I had asked one of the gps in my practice about wls and he literally laughed in my face and gave me reductil. The pain clinic dr is also a gp at my practice and was very apologetic about the whole experience I had had and if I came to see him in a week or two he would refer me. The rest they say is history and I have my bypass on 20th May as an NHS patient.
Sorry for rambling but once I started I realised that there were many things thart broke the camels back.
Hope this helps xXx
I was sent for an MRI scan as Physio, Accupuncture and medication were not releiving the pain. The Consultant at walsalll manor refused to send me for one as he told me my problem was bsically that I was lazy and needed to get out more and not sit watching tv. OMG what an embarrassing palava from start to finish. They had no gowns so gave my pair of blue scrubs the largest they do, after shoe horning myself into bith the top and bottoms I was afraid to breath let alone sit down or move. Neither the top or troussers would cover what they should and looked like they had had a falling out with each other and my belly was there in the middle as referee. I just wanted to run away, hide in a dark place and cry. The woman who does the scans came out and said she would be about 15 mins if I could take a seat, to which my reply was I don't think the troussers would be able to take the strain. She looked at me then with horror looked at what I was wearing and said "you should have been given a gown" I told her there weren't any and was given these to put on. She ran and found some gowns and I had to then prise myself out of the clothes. I nearly didn't get into the machine as I just about managed to go in with lot of positioning of elbows and arms etc. Then I nearly got stuff coming out and suffered friction burns not nice. Arthritus has been sort of dianoised as a result however...
At my pain clinic I was told by the jumped up old physio that my problem was general wear and tear and loads of people my age have it with out pain and that it was infact my weight that was the problem, I sat there and took it all in, she tut tutted when I got on the scales as I had put weight on scince seeing my gp the weeks before. Her answer was to send me on a six week exercise programme to show me how to take gentle exercise, and show me relaxtion techniques to help with the pain, aand that I needed to be more active, and not sit watching the tv all day (how with a 2 year old i manage this is beyond me). Then I saw the dr who again was going on about my weight and proceeded to tell me that because my big belly was pulling me forward it was putting enormous strain on my lower back. I lost the plot big time and went off on a spiel about how none of the drs took my requests for help seriously and just kept handing out tablets which incidently I had put on 3 kilos in just over a week. I had asked one of the gps in my practice about wls and he literally laughed in my face and gave me reductil. The pain clinic dr is also a gp at my practice and was very apologetic about the whole experience I had had and if I came to see him in a week or two he would refer me. The rest they say is history and I have my bypass on 20th May as an NHS patient.
Sorry for rambling but once I started I realised that there were many things thart broke the camels back.
Hope this helps xXx
katstofat
New Member
how awfull that youve been put to such bad behavour from people who are there to help us with healh problems if it was as easy as they say we would all be a size 10. i have always been fat from about 5 years old but ive always been very fit and active walking everywere so the straw for me was wen walking was sudenly very painfull and from walking everywere i have troble walking to the garden gate. the pain then goes into my back and i just want to curl up and never move again
unlike you ive had nothing but suport of my doctor and the practise nurses they have been great not pushed me into anything or naged me about my weight just let me know that they would be ther if i wanted them .i asked for and tried zenacol and reductol ,both not for me wen the pain finally got me down i asked for wls and they were very suportive and put me forward for it imediatly. that was in september 2008 and hopefully i will be having it at salford royal in april i wish things had gone as smoth for you
unlike you ive had nothing but suport of my doctor and the practise nurses they have been great not pushed me into anything or naged me about my weight just let me know that they would be ther if i wanted them .i asked for and tried zenacol and reductol ,both not for me wen the pain finally got me down i asked for wls and they were very suportive and put me forward for it imediatly. that was in september 2008 and hopefully i will be having it at salford royal in april i wish things had gone as smoth for you
tesmaralda
New Member
waynetta
I'm on the losers Rd.
It was when I could not stand myself any longer. I hated myself so much that I was turning to drink, just so I could like myself just for a while. I would'nt go out unless I really had to and I was so unhappy and depressed, even with all the good things in my life, like my husband and son, I still did'nt feel happy or want to be here really. So I knew I had to get help and my GP was wonderful and here I am now post op.
Until four years ago I was slim ate healthily and exercised regularly, then out of the blue I was hospitalised with chronic abdominal pain. Many months and tests (plus lots of time off work) later I was diagnosed with adhesions from previous abdominal surgery.
Basically my right ovary is stuck to my bowel by scar tissue, my left is imobile. I also have patches of endometriosis around my abdominal cavity (but not in my womb).
My life has been that of just existing since then. I have tried everything my GP and Gynea suggested from monthly hormone injections to various pills. The pain is awful but over the years I have learnt to live with it but not the way it has affected my life.
So six and half stone gained later I feel drained physically and emotionaly, struggle to work and somedays cant even cuddle my daughter.
Anyway back to the question, well six months ago my gynea said I should have a pelvic clearence (everything out ala hysterectomy) but she would not do this until I had lost at least 4 stone. I tried everything but on the 16th March I went back to the hospital having lost the grand total of zero pounds. She has given me another six months, I feel therefore that WLS is the only way to free me from this pain and get me back to the old me!
Maz x :sigh::sigh:
Basically my right ovary is stuck to my bowel by scar tissue, my left is imobile. I also have patches of endometriosis around my abdominal cavity (but not in my womb).
My life has been that of just existing since then. I have tried everything my GP and Gynea suggested from monthly hormone injections to various pills. The pain is awful but over the years I have learnt to live with it but not the way it has affected my life.
So six and half stone gained later I feel drained physically and emotionaly, struggle to work and somedays cant even cuddle my daughter.
Anyway back to the question, well six months ago my gynea said I should have a pelvic clearence (everything out ala hysterectomy) but she would not do this until I had lost at least 4 stone. I tried everything but on the 16th March I went back to the hospital having lost the grand total of zero pounds. She has given me another six months, I feel therefore that WLS is the only way to free me from this pain and get me back to the old me!
Maz x :sigh::sigh:
Mrs_CakeyBun
Joy's the best makeup :-)
for me this picture of me at 17stone was the last straw..I hide it after it was taken I saw so embarrassed by it...even now I hate it deeply...I knew that I had to change what I was doing to myself...
I looked like this 17 years ago when my daughter was baby and I had comfort eaten my way to the size of a small shed in the intervening years. My whole family suffers from massive health problems related to weight...and it scares me to realise it will be me too in an early grave. I researched for a year and recently decided I wanted a Gastric band and will be having it fitted exactly this time next week, I think the decision is a very private thing and what you decide should be only for yourself as I believe if you try and do it for other people that gives them some "control" over your weight loss and it can be much harder emotionally.
Thanks for listening
Brunetteandred
Officially a loser
Terri, I'd rep you for your honest post, but it won't let me. Harrumph.
Same here, great post Terri, but I need to spread the love. xx
Great thread. I was asked the same question on my diary just a few weeks ago so have copied and pasted what I wrote there. Incidentally if anyone is interested, the link to my diary is in my signature. Its very boring though lol but you are all welcome to take a peek.
What a great question. Im sure there are lots of people who think they could never put themselves through surgery, or worse that I am taking the easy option, so thank you for asking me this.
There was never a straw that broke the camels back moment as such. Just a slow and steady realisation that I couldnt carry on life as I was.
As I said before, I have tried every diet under the sun and I cant do it. Ive failed each and every time. Some people can do it and some cant. You only have to look around Mini's to see how few people actually manage to reach their goals and many of us are on the 3rd 4th... or 20th attempt to lose weight. Its just too hard.
The brilliant losses like Porgeous, or Summerskye are so few and far between... so Im not the only one who can't do it, and I dont feel bad for taking the decision to have WLS.
For me, I have come to the conclusion that the only thing that can work is the physical restriction on the volume of food and the type of food that a bypass can bring. I cant do it with willpower alone.
And I have kidded myself so many times that its OK to be fat. Its not. i dont mean from a visual point of view as I always make the effort to look nice, and I know lots of bigger women who are beautiful.
For me, this is a totally health related decision. My knees cant cope. My back cant cope. My lungs cant cope. I am in so much pain with my knees that it makes me cry some days. Every aspect of my life suffers because of my weight. I cant do things I want to with my kids. My sex life is not as good as it should be (how can I put this tactfully... I know my husband adores me, and we have enough sex, but I wish I was more erm... energetic/agile)
So this is my chance to get my life back. to get my health back. To be a good mum and good wife.
What a great question. Im sure there are lots of people who think they could never put themselves through surgery, or worse that I am taking the easy option, so thank you for asking me this.
There was never a straw that broke the camels back moment as such. Just a slow and steady realisation that I couldnt carry on life as I was.
As I said before, I have tried every diet under the sun and I cant do it. Ive failed each and every time. Some people can do it and some cant. You only have to look around Mini's to see how few people actually manage to reach their goals and many of us are on the 3rd 4th... or 20th attempt to lose weight. Its just too hard.
The brilliant losses like Porgeous, or Summerskye are so few and far between... so Im not the only one who can't do it, and I dont feel bad for taking the decision to have WLS.
For me, I have come to the conclusion that the only thing that can work is the physical restriction on the volume of food and the type of food that a bypass can bring. I cant do it with willpower alone.
And I have kidded myself so many times that its OK to be fat. Its not. i dont mean from a visual point of view as I always make the effort to look nice, and I know lots of bigger women who are beautiful.
For me, this is a totally health related decision. My knees cant cope. My back cant cope. My lungs cant cope. I am in so much pain with my knees that it makes me cry some days. Every aspect of my life suffers because of my weight. I cant do things I want to with my kids. My sex life is not as good as it should be (how can I put this tactfully... I know my husband adores me, and we have enough sex, but I wish I was more erm... energetic/agile
)So this is my chance to get my life back. to get my health back. To be a good mum and good wife.
serenitylove
New Member
for me it was a combination of putting my foot thru some decking breaking my friends sofa but mainly because i have bad pelvic pain and was told when id been in hosp for 2 days by some fat old codger dr who must have weighed 20st himself it was because i was so fat i was in pain! i ripped the canular out of my arm screamed a few rude words at him and walked out iv never felt so humiliated in my life although i do blame the morphine on my reaction lol so i asked my gp to refer me suprisingly 4st lighter i still get the pain but i doubt i will be listened to untill im thinner
tendersage
New Member
I rep'ed terri for you still had some left
for me the last straw was not just one thing it was a build up of things, weight piling on, feeling low as i could not do what i needed to in relation to getting around, struggling to do my job, and then being told i had to increase me thyroxine meds to a level i thought was above the max dose. I then found out that higher doses are given but usually because the patient has a cancerous growth on their thyroid gland. This really scared me and when a few weeks later the dr mentioned me being put forward for WLS i backed away really fast saying i had not considered it ect. Instead she refered me to the dietitian, an appointment i never ended up keeping because by then i had reconsidered as i KNEW WLS was the only way forward for me, i had already booked my bypass... the rest is all documented in my blog
for me the last straw was not just one thing it was a build up of things, weight piling on, feeling low as i could not do what i needed to in relation to getting around, struggling to do my job, and then being told i had to increase me thyroxine meds to a level i thought was above the max dose. I then found out that higher doses are given but usually because the patient has a cancerous growth on their thyroid gland. This really scared me and when a few weeks later the dr mentioned me being put forward for WLS i backed away really fast saying i had not considered it ect. Instead she refered me to the dietitian, an appointment i never ended up keeping because by then i had reconsidered as i KNEW WLS was the only way forward for me, i had already booked my bypass... the rest is all documented in my blog
thinkbethin
New Member
Hi there, I think the last straw for me was when I realised how much of life I was wasting sat in my bedroom.Part of this is due to being depressed.The depression was caused by my illness's and my illness's were caused by my weight. I worked for 70 hours a week before I got ill. My weight caused high blood pressure, my bp caused 3 strokes and these strokes left me with seizures.Going from being able to do everything to not being able to do anything caused depression. I was sat upstairs in my bedroom 1 day and I could hear my lovely family laughing downstairs and thought to myself "why am I here??? " I now have no life, just an existance. What a waste of space I am. After thinking like this for a couple of hours I then gave myself a stern talking to and come to the conclusion that if I could lose the weight I could win this battle.I have tried everything like all of you have and thought the only chance of WLS for me would be to win the lottery (never going to happen) as I didn't know NHS would fund this type of surgery. When I found they did I went to see my gp and he was great. So the last straw for me was "getting a grip" and wanting my life back. Thanks for reading and sorry if i've bored you silly
xx Gaynor xx
xx Gaynor xx
tesmaralda
New Member
Gaynor, its so nice to read other peoples reasons why, you haven't bored us silly, its all part of getting to know a little bit about the people we open our hearts up to on here.
thinkbethin
New Member
Thankyou Terri, I just felt once I'd started to ramble I'd gone off topic but reading back it wasn't too far off lol. take care xx Gaynorxx
for me
For me, i was a tubby child at the age of ten i was diagnosed with type 1 juvenille onset diabetes i never dramtically lost weight like most type 1 diabetics do i put it on!! anyway was put on a really strict diet the weight fell off me, went through secondary school a bit bigger than the other girls but i was never bullied and to this day i have never been bullied about my weight. College was ok, started putting on weight gradually, left and went into nursing fulltime, my father also being type 1 diabetic became very ill and i nursed for many years, but one thing i was was always sociable, then one day i found myself crying infront of the mirror, ashamed of what id started to become totally hated myself so many saying your just fine as yu are but i started to avoid nights because everytime i looked in the mirror the person looking back at me was saying your to fat to be liked let alone be attractive to the opposite sex. At 26 6 months after my father died i went off to uni only lasted a year as the grieving process took its toll and worrying about my mum living on her own.... i started really comfort eating and having way to much alcohol as i used this a coping mechanism dutch courage to go on a night out..I started working as an Occupational Therapy technician which i loved (born carer) think more of others than of myself another coping mechanism as if i had someone else to think about i didnt have to think of how crap i felt. Then i moved into the job im in now a mainly desk job... by this point i had tried pretty much all the diets around and all the tablets that were available a coupl stone here and there off but nothing major.My mum became really ill and i before she died had one appointment with a pschologist for the fact that i needed to be able to cope with the grief again, in that meeting the first thing she said was over weight people are normally bubbly happy people (YOU tell me of one person that really truelly is happy being fat?) something clicked and i thought id try slimming world after my mum died, i did and lost four stone but it platued, diagnosed with underactive thyroid a very high amount, it still didnt help shift any weight. i joined a couple of online dating site chatted to loads of blokes but i couldnt meet them i just hated myself, so i let them all down bar two that im still close to now and then one day one of my lovely clients was chatting to me and she had seen an article about bypass and then strangely a new client came in and she had had it done saw the before and after photos and thought this is the only way im ever going to be at ease with myself and get my confidence back and my life.. i want to be able to go out have a laugh without worrying that people are staring at me for the wrong reasons.
Sorry its so long but once you start you just can't stop typing xxxx
For me, i was a tubby child at the age of ten i was diagnosed with type 1 juvenille onset diabetes i never dramtically lost weight like most type 1 diabetics do i put it on!! anyway was put on a really strict diet the weight fell off me, went through secondary school a bit bigger than the other girls but i was never bullied and to this day i have never been bullied about my weight. College was ok, started putting on weight gradually, left and went into nursing fulltime, my father also being type 1 diabetic became very ill and i nursed for many years, but one thing i was was always sociable, then one day i found myself crying infront of the mirror, ashamed of what id started to become totally hated myself so many saying your just fine as yu are but i started to avoid nights because everytime i looked in the mirror the person looking back at me was saying your to fat to be liked let alone be attractive to the opposite sex. At 26 6 months after my father died i went off to uni only lasted a year as the grieving process took its toll and worrying about my mum living on her own.... i started really comfort eating and having way to much alcohol as i used this a coping mechanism dutch courage to go on a night out..I started working as an Occupational Therapy technician which i loved (born carer) think more of others than of myself another coping mechanism as if i had someone else to think about i didnt have to think of how crap i felt. Then i moved into the job im in now a mainly desk job... by this point i had tried pretty much all the diets around and all the tablets that were available a coupl stone here and there off but nothing major.My mum became really ill and i before she died had one appointment with a pschologist for the fact that i needed to be able to cope with the grief again, in that meeting the first thing she said was over weight people are normally bubbly happy people (YOU tell me of one person that really truelly is happy being fat?) something clicked and i thought id try slimming world after my mum died, i did and lost four stone but it platued, diagnosed with underactive thyroid a very high amount, it still didnt help shift any weight. i joined a couple of online dating site chatted to loads of blokes but i couldnt meet them i just hated myself, so i let them all down bar two that im still close to now and then one day one of my lovely clients was chatting to me and she had seen an article about bypass and then strangely a new client came in and she had had it done saw the before and after photos and thought this is the only way im ever going to be at ease with myself and get my confidence back and my life.. i want to be able to go out have a laugh without worrying that people are staring at me for the wrong reasons.
Sorry its so long but once you start you just can't stop typing xxxx
j.u.s.t.l.i.z.
Runs Srh Support Group
my turning point was i felt i couldnt be the mum to my son that he deserved to have, i always said NO, no i wont go swimming with you, no i cant play chase with you at the park, no i cant go bike riding, the list with the word NO goes on, he was little when i was banded only 4 years old, hes now 8 and i can enjoy his childhood with him, we now go swimming ect, and im a much better mum now than i ever was. another reason was i was pretty much reclusive i didnt want to mix be noticed or have any form of a converstation with anyone out in public, but now ive went to the other end of the scale i often go out, meet people can have a conversation with out wanting to run away.
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