Fading Grace
Fading Away
Well it's been almost 11 months since I had my gastric bypass surgery and if I had of stuck rigidly to my post op diet I would probably be here gloating by saying that I had lost 11 stone by now instead of being stuck at a 9 stone loss because at one point I was steadily loosing 1 stone a month (when I was being good!)
It's my own greedy fault. I wandered away from the diet that I should have stuck to. I began to eat far more carbs than I should have, I slacked off on my exercise and began having “little treats” almost every day.
*Slaps herself around her greedy chops*
I've decided to go back to basics and reset my pouch which has been stretched by my overeating by going on a 5 day liquid diet and ridding myself of carbs, snacking and other bad habits that I've picked up in the last few months.
The ONLY good thing about this whole situation is that I haven't gained any weight at all in the last 11 months so that makes me hate myself a little less.
Instead of moaning and being depressed about the weight that I haven't lost, I'm going to focus on the fact that;
A. I have recognized the fact that I have begun to slip on my diet and I am doing something about it.
B. Be proud of the 9.2 stone weight-loss that I have already achieved!
C. Step up my exercise regime and start going swimming 3 times a week like I used to, and actually USE the exercise bike that I bought few months ago.
D. Stick to a high protein, low carb diet as I did after I first had my surgery.
Once I stick to this plan for a few months I will be back on track and all will not be lost. The thought of me being one of those people who fail their gastric bypass by falling into old habits and sabotaging themselves (like I have done in the past) fills me with dread and despair! I simply will NOT allow that to happen. I fought hard for 4 years to get my operation and I will NOT let myself or the NHS down by disrespecting the amazing tool that I have been blessed with.
Going down the path of weight-loss surgery is not an easy road. The health authorities prepare you for your surgery and tell you what you're in for on the operation table, but sadly they do not deal with the issues as to why you overeat in the first place, so unless you battle against that need to comfort yourself with food when times are bad, or to “treat” yourself as a little reward with food, it will be very easy to start piling on the pounds again.
When I think back to my life when I was an outcast at just over 29 stone, there is no way on God's earth that I could ever go back to being that sad, lonely, depressed and defeated person.
Wherever I went people looked at me with utter disgust, or even worse… pity. Life was a struggle in so many ways, both emotionally as well as psychically. I was more or less housebound, I'd only go out if I absolutely had to, and then I'd try and get home as quickly as possible. I withdraw from family and friends and even missed my best friends wedding as I hated myself so much and didn't want to ruin her wedding pictures with my big, depressed, fat face in them.
I want to make it clear to people that I didn't hate myself simply because I was fat. There are many beautiful and confident overweight people in the world, and no one should ever think any less of them because of their size. I hated myself because I abused food in such a disgusting and Self-defeating way. I had no control over my life and ate constantly to block out the world and to try and comfort myself. I felt that I was so big that there was no point on going on a diet because when you know that you have to lose at least 17 stone to be in a normal weight range it just feels so totally and utterly undo-able. It's easier to continue to overeat and deny how badly your life has gotten out of control. There seems to be only darkness at the end of your tunnel and wearing blinkers only encourages it.
So from here on out it's onwards and upwards! I haven't done anything to myself that cannot be undone quickly
I've had a little glitch, I've been stuck at a self-imposed plateau, but with determination, dedication and hard work I can be the woman that I want to be, at the size that I want to, and deserve to be!
I hope that anyone who reads this, who is in the same place that I am in at the moment (after having any type of WLS) doesn't give up and think that it's too late to change things. It's never too late, all it needs is a little hard work. Remind yourself of all of the reasons that you put yourself through this in the first place!
When I overeat these days I don't even get the comfort and satisfaction that I used to do pre-surgery, so there must be something that I am not understanding about myself as to why I STILL resort to food in certain, emotional times in my life. It's something that I need to grab by the neck and shake out of me for good!
I wrote this post yesterday and I hadn't weighted myself since Friday.
I've just weighed myself now and I've lost 4 lbs since Monday so woot woot!
It just goes to show that when you get your self back on track your body does reward you!
It's my own greedy fault. I wandered away from the diet that I should have stuck to. I began to eat far more carbs than I should have, I slacked off on my exercise and began having “little treats” almost every day.
*Slaps herself around her greedy chops*
I've decided to go back to basics and reset my pouch which has been stretched by my overeating by going on a 5 day liquid diet and ridding myself of carbs, snacking and other bad habits that I've picked up in the last few months.
The ONLY good thing about this whole situation is that I haven't gained any weight at all in the last 11 months so that makes me hate myself a little less.
Instead of moaning and being depressed about the weight that I haven't lost, I'm going to focus on the fact that;
A. I have recognized the fact that I have begun to slip on my diet and I am doing something about it.
B. Be proud of the 9.2 stone weight-loss that I have already achieved!
C. Step up my exercise regime and start going swimming 3 times a week like I used to, and actually USE the exercise bike that I bought few months ago.
D. Stick to a high protein, low carb diet as I did after I first had my surgery.
Once I stick to this plan for a few months I will be back on track and all will not be lost. The thought of me being one of those people who fail their gastric bypass by falling into old habits and sabotaging themselves (like I have done in the past) fills me with dread and despair! I simply will NOT allow that to happen. I fought hard for 4 years to get my operation and I will NOT let myself or the NHS down by disrespecting the amazing tool that I have been blessed with.
Going down the path of weight-loss surgery is not an easy road. The health authorities prepare you for your surgery and tell you what you're in for on the operation table, but sadly they do not deal with the issues as to why you overeat in the first place, so unless you battle against that need to comfort yourself with food when times are bad, or to “treat” yourself as a little reward with food, it will be very easy to start piling on the pounds again.
When I think back to my life when I was an outcast at just over 29 stone, there is no way on God's earth that I could ever go back to being that sad, lonely, depressed and defeated person.
Wherever I went people looked at me with utter disgust, or even worse… pity. Life was a struggle in so many ways, both emotionally as well as psychically. I was more or less housebound, I'd only go out if I absolutely had to, and then I'd try and get home as quickly as possible. I withdraw from family and friends and even missed my best friends wedding as I hated myself so much and didn't want to ruin her wedding pictures with my big, depressed, fat face in them.
I want to make it clear to people that I didn't hate myself simply because I was fat. There are many beautiful and confident overweight people in the world, and no one should ever think any less of them because of their size. I hated myself because I abused food in such a disgusting and Self-defeating way. I had no control over my life and ate constantly to block out the world and to try and comfort myself. I felt that I was so big that there was no point on going on a diet because when you know that you have to lose at least 17 stone to be in a normal weight range it just feels so totally and utterly undo-able. It's easier to continue to overeat and deny how badly your life has gotten out of control. There seems to be only darkness at the end of your tunnel and wearing blinkers only encourages it.
So from here on out it's onwards and upwards! I haven't done anything to myself that cannot be undone quickly
I've had a little glitch, I've been stuck at a self-imposed plateau, but with determination, dedication and hard work I can be the woman that I want to be, at the size that I want to, and deserve to be!
I hope that anyone who reads this, who is in the same place that I am in at the moment (after having any type of WLS) doesn't give up and think that it's too late to change things. It's never too late, all it needs is a little hard work. Remind yourself of all of the reasons that you put yourself through this in the first place!
When I overeat these days I don't even get the comfort and satisfaction that I used to do pre-surgery, so there must be something that I am not understanding about myself as to why I STILL resort to food in certain, emotional times in my life. It's something that I need to grab by the neck and shake out of me for good!
I wrote this post yesterday and I hadn't weighted myself since Friday.
I've just weighed myself now and I've lost 4 lbs since Monday so woot woot!
It just goes to show that when you get your self back on track your body does reward you!
