Dating after wls for men

[jasonslaphead]

Just realised something what on earth are you meant to do an a date after wls or at least in the early days after surgery ?

Go to a bar or club
and sip on water while she drinks her usual and she will probably think I am trying to get her sloshed

Go out for a meal
and sit down nibbling on a dairylea triangle while she has a nice meal and I watch thinking mmmm that looks tasty and she feels a bit wierd as im just watching her eat

Go for a walk in the country
If I was a woman and a bloke I didnt really know asked me to go out in the country someplace I would probably think he was an axe murderer and run a mile

Its a tough one I cant think of anything, maybe im just not very imaginative

 

[SOON SLIM SUE]

Ahhhhhhhhhhh bless!!!!!!!!!!
I'll go out with you!!!!!!!
But i have to tell you i'm not cheap untill 7th jan lol.

 

[kandeechops]

You could try the theatre, cinema or bowling, get a train into london do some sight seeing i'm sure there's loads of things to do, but this is all i can think of - Good luck in whatever you do x

 

[Glenville]

Hi Jason, the same thoughts have been going around my head too.

This is hardly the time of year to go walking anywhere, least of all sight-seeing around London. I just don't do crowds of mad sales-crazy buyers. Have you seen the weather out there? Who wants to go for a stroll in the country and get blown around and drenched?

I think this questions needs some serious thought!

John

 

[gillabean]

It's not just you blokes who have the problem. I had my first date in many, many years on Tuesday. We met in the afternoon as I knew I wouldn't be able to go in a bar as : 1. I haven't tried alcohol and being totally smashed on a first date is not very ladylike
2. Dinner? same as you
3. Theatre/cinema? not on a first date



So we met for coffee and when he bought a cake, offered to buy me one, no thanks say I, oh go on says he, no thanks I'm not really a 'cake person' say I. That's a new one! I used to be a 'whole family cake to myself' kind of person.

So what to do for the next date? The above still applies plus
4. London? no way, what if I don't like him after all? I can't get away!
5. Walk in the country? What if he's a psycho?

Luckily he's away for a week so I've got time to think, help!

 

[Glenville]

So we met for coffee and when he bought a cake, offered to buy me one, no thanks say I, oh go on says he, no thanks I'm not really a 'cake person' say I. That's a new one! I used to be a 'whole family cake to myself' kind of person.

So what to do for the next date?
Luckily he's away for a week so I've got time to think, help!

I can relate to the cake thing!

I take it he has no idea about the wls? I guess it is early days, but it could be a card you could play in some ways. If he likes what he sees (and who wouldn't ), he is going to see less of you in the future. In the nicest possible way.

If you want a practice "date" at any time, you know where I am.

John xxx

 

[Mark01/05/2009]

In the early days it is difficult, but that changes over time......

Try cinema, bowling, take her to a gig, a comedy club???

When i was newly post op, i was paranoid that everyone was watching me eat and drink and that they would say something, but they never did, it is easier than you think to hide the fact you have had WLS.

You will get used to it in time x

 

[hope2bthina]

I think bowling is a great idea..certainly an ice breaker. Walking is not too bad an idea on a good day..could always borrow a dog.
gillabean....loved the cake comment

 

[Mazza]

Hi

Bowling would be ok if she likes it, personally I don't. So I suppose it depends on the person but I think Gillabeans 1st date coffee is a safe bet. You can chat and get to know each other. Cinema, theatre etc would be fine for 3rd date onwards - you cant really chat whilst there and that may be a bit ackward for a 1st date.

Im sure there will be more good ideas to follow!

 

[Delly]

What about a drive to the coast and spend a few hours on slot machines air hockey etc...

 

[jasonslaphead]

4. London? no way, what if I don't like him after all? I can't get away!

Its ok london is very crowded this time of year so you could slip off into the crowd and do a runner he will never find you

 

[lotsabeefy]

:xmassign:I have absolutely no idea, bin years since i was on a date but didn't wanna read and run.
Good Luck and make sure its something you feel comfy with.
xx

 

[jasonslaphead]

Ahhhhhhhhhhh bless!!!!!!!!!!
I'll go out with you!!!!!!!
But i have to tell you i'm not cheap untill 7th jan lol.

Thats a fantastic idea, two post op wls peeps going into a posh dining place. Could have a bowl of soup for a starter and then ask for the bill. They would think the soup was off or something LOL.
Gourmet dining and it probably cost under a tenner

However on a more serious note it would be easier than trying to do something with a non wls person. Maybe there should be a Matchdotcom/dating direct type thingy for people like us. I think its probably a bit harder for singletons meeting someone new as the whole wierdness of eating rules after surgery would seem a bit odd to a stranger whereas someone already in a relationship with a wls person would have had a bit of knowledge beforehand

 

[Caroline101061]

oh dear. You can still go clubbing, just dont drink. You can still go to a restaurant, just have one course cause you are watching your weight. You can go to the cinema, theatre, zoo, christmas or any type of market, archery. ice skating, visit to a statley home, walk in the park, clay pigeon shooting, karoke, loads of things, football match

 

[wannabeslimagain]

how about going to a snow dome it is festive and fun and no need for awkward eating excuses

 

[phatmomma]

If it's early days there is cinema, bowling or then the coffee is a really god thing to do as you can take part in my personal favourite sport of 'people watching'! However these have all been mentioned so i need to be original, for the next two weeks we have our national sport/pasttime of Christmas Shopping, what guy/gal won't need help in picking a present for a family member of the opposite sex? You can walk, talk and stop for random coffee's through out the day, you'll be surprised how quickly the time goes....

Now my turn for a question, if you like these people you date and decide you want to get 'jiggy' will you explain about your wls then? Or make up some (excuse the pun) cock n bull to avoid sharing? xx

 

[lotsabeefy]

how about going to a snow dome it is festive and fun and no need for awkward eating excuses

Excellent Idea

 

[margaretmc]

Its ok london is very crowded this time of year so you could slip off into the crowd and do a runner he will never find you

Hi Jason
I just had my surgery there on Tuesday and this made me laugh me belly was jumping up and down lol .
Do you know the girl well but even if you don`t why can`t you just say you`v had surgery . If she runs off and leaves you standing shes not worth knowing but if shes nice and understands well that's a good thing . A nice drive would be lovely and stop for a wee chat take a flask of soup to warm you both up . Will what ever you do I hope you both have a lovely time . Take care .
Margaret xx

 

[Meggie]

Just realised something what on earth are you meant to do an a date after wls or at least in the early days after surgery ?

Go to a bar or club
and sip on water while she drinks her usual and she will probably think I am trying to get her sloshed

Go out for a meal
and sit down nibbling on a dairylea triangle while she has a nice meal and I watch thinking mmmm that looks tasty and she feels a bit wierd as im just watching her eat

Go for a walk in the country
If I was a woman and a bloke I didnt really know asked me to go out in the country someplace I would probably think he was an axe murderer and run a mile

Its a tough one I cant think of anything, maybe im just not very imaginative

Haha this made me smile after a long day at work!! I have thought the same things recently as it does seem a bit weird to only have a tiny little meal on a date! When do you actually tell someone you've had the op!? When is a good time!?!? AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHH I'M GOING TO BE ALONE FOREVER............WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Oh and on another note, I have been on a date with a man who just watched me eat but it turns out that he was a feeder!! NEXT!!!

 

[Meggie]

Ok, I'm going to be sensible for a few minutes. Well I'll try anyway!! What about ice skating, bowling, trip to the beach (obviously dep on where you live!!), museum, boat trip down the thames..............I did once look at a site that suggested a cemetary picnic date.........not sure I'd be up for that on the very first date!!! Hahaha!