Did anyone write letters to your children/partners b4 ur surgery

[Roch]

Hi all, although my surgery is 9 weeks away i have been making lists of things i have to do to get my affairs in order just in case things dont go to well.
I know i am healthy internally thank god and the health probs i do have are all to do with my joints and my surgeon thinks i will have no problems and recover well from surgery but realistically who knows what the outcome will be.
I have been doing things like sorting out all bills, and sorting out all my file cabinet so all things can be found and making sure i update my will, and also speaking to my housing association about Aaron taking over the tenancy, but as he is not 18 one of my family members will move in till he is 18 then he can take over the tenancy, and to make sure i have it in writing before my surgery.
I am a single parent to my son Aaron who is 17 yrs old, and although he has 2 bothers from his dad and his dad is in his life i know he would want to stay on in our home with our 2 dogs and not have to move to his dad`s as he would not be able to keep our girls in his dad`s flat.
One of the things that i am doing is writing a letter to Aaron telling him how much i loved him and that he was the most important person in my life,and creating a special photo album of just him and me although the past 10 yrs or so i rarely took pics as i have been so ashamed of how i look.
I am going to also think of a very special 18th birthday present for him and buy it and have it ready god forbid i cant be there on his 18th in July.

Was wondering what others did to prepare mentally for surgery and to make sure u got all ur affairs in order, sorry if this is a bit morbid but at the end of the day this is reality.

Thanks and take care luv Roch xxx

 

[angelpie]

Hi Roch,
No you are not morbid, just being a loving caring mother.
I am going to be doing letters to my son Daniel and my grandson Joshua. I am also doing a will and funeral arrangments.
I hope to start all these things next week as I am cutting it short with only 19 days to go.
Lol xx

 

[tesmaralda]

I did write them, and then I ripped them it just didnt seem right. It didn't come across how I wanted them to. Its not morbid and I think for some of us its all part of getting your head straight. Write them, put them up and then re read them after a day or two and then see if they say what you want. If not rip them up and either start again or see how you feel, all you might need to do is clear the demons from your head and might not have a need to do them again.

Although the 2nd March is a long way away its a good day to have your op as some very special people have their birthdays on that day(can't imagine who, can you lol).

 

[jayney3252]

I did write them and broke my heart doing them knowing if they read them I was dead but it is a wonderful feeling when you shread them afterwards ha!!! All the best x

 

[teen]

No I didnt write letters I just told them I loved them as I always do

 

[tarara]

I'm still waiting for my date but I have written letters and a list of everything that needs sortings just in case. Everything is ready to just be either printed or emailed to who they need to go to.
Hopefully they will just go in the recycle bin after!

 

[claudia24]

yes i did write letter to my boyfriend, dad, brother and to a friend of mine, my boyfriend found the letter this morning, i thought i threw them away but i didnt and he was very upset althought he knew i wrote them i dont think he was prepared for what i wrote in them (all good btw ) x

 

[rybens]

No i didnt write any letters , if i even thought about the things i would put in them it would make me break down so i just made sure bills were up to date shopping was ordered every present and card was sorted for christmas , and had some very special times with them for me without them really knowing lol i then told them all i loved them and id see them soon x every one has there different ways and it has to feel right for you, your date will be here in no time and i for one can not wait to welcome you back to the losers bench x x

 

[Porpo]

Hiya,

I wrote letters to everyone. I kind of think that it's a good thing to do just in case... I hoped it would all go ok but I just knew that if I was in their position I would appreciate it. I also sorted out my finances and left a will and details of my bank accounts etc for my OH.

As it happens Im absolutely fine but I thought better safe than sorry.

xxx

 

[dreamofbeingslim]

As you know Roch no surgery yet but yes I will, I did when I went in to have my gallbladder removed as well. It is a very emotional thing to do and it completely drained me but it was something I felt I needed to do.

 

[fatbutnot4long]

i wrote letters 2 everyone... done the flat up (all the little things ive never got around to doing) wrote hubby lists of the direct debits and put his name on my tenancy and spoke to my family who i had huge fall outs with a yr and a half before hand - everyone was mad at me for doing it but i just wanted to know it was done just in case! i also went xmas shoppin in aug and done everyone a present they would really like! feels silly now coz all ive got 2 show for it is a hugeeee credit card bill lol! xx

 

[jaxx]

This thought occured to me as well. I'll be typing letters to my family and leaving them on my laptop. I will tell my sister the password and tell her to send them to the appropriate people if the worst comes to the worst. Although the surgeon I'll be seeing says he's never lost a patient, someone has to be first. My family are quite repressed so we tend not to tell people how we feel, just show them. But there are things I do want to say to my family and I would hate that I passed without saying them.

 

[swizzlestick]

I got all the bills paid, a list of all the dd's, rent, council tax etc for my friend to give to hubby should the worst happen. I also done my crimbo shopping early and wrapped them all the week before going in for the op.

I wrote a letter to my son, cant remember where I have put it now though.

Was wondering if I will feel the same when I have the gall stones removed, for some reason it just feels like the wls was soo soo huge.

Xx

btw Roch...is Aaron home?

 

[Gail-michelle]

Hiya roch, Did I write letters nope! but I went the full hog and bought a will & testerment from WHSmiths but everytime I went to write in it I started to cry, so yep its still in the draw lol. I think a lot of peeps write there emotions down on paper to the people they love. So you do this babe if you think it will help your inner motions. The biggest question is though when is a good time to give them out???????? Hugs n kisses Gail xx

 

[PinkyButtonz]

I did start a letter, but then decided to sit down and talk to my daughter. We talked about the if the worst happened. All my bills were up to date and money was there if the worst did happen.

I think she was happier for us to sit down and have that chat rather than a letter, but everyone is different.

Pinkyx

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

This has been on my mind I have 3 children 7, 5 and 2, I dont think that my youngest 2 woudl understand I have spoken to my hubby who says you will be fine dont worry etc etc but there is that worry, its not for me ifs for those i leave behind. The thought is making me cry now. I dotn even have a will, we have life insurance etc.. that I hope woudl pay off the house if I die I never though of funeral arrangements, do you have to pay upfront if so i have no money !.
all our bills are payed from our bank so I am sure hubby would be ok there.
I am 3 weeks from my op maybe i better get some lists done.
It is said 1 in 1000 and everyone wants to be in the 999, its the thought that everyone cant that scares the bloody life out of me x

 

[Cuppacocoa]

Hi Roch, did I write letters? No, couldn't do it. Thought about it but I just couldn't do it. Found it hard enough just saying goodbye to my hubby and 3 yr old daughter in the hospital, in the end I just pecked them on the cheek, turned on my heels and walked out the room. I'm not good at goodbyes.

Cuppa xx

 

[emergingbutterfly]

Hi, good thread.

I’m planning to have a “I didn’t make it pack” ready for my mum which includes my Will, one letter to all the family to say that it was my decision and I took the risk and no one should feel responsible for encouraging me, bank details, passwords, pin numbers etc, and a list of people’s contact details I want them to contact.

I don’t want to make a big emotional thing about it but just need to be practical and will casually mention it the night before and tell her where it is just in case. I will keep the letter short and sweet and I can do the Will myself thankfully so I don’t have to make a big song and dance about it.

I am also planning to de clutter as much as possible so that my flat is nice and clean and tidy and ready for me to enjoy whilst I am at home recovering.

I have brought some nice books and CDs for myself recently that I have put to one side to enjoy after my op.

 

[Spikeyjaycee]

I'm planning on writing down all the practical things like what bills go where, who to contact if the worst happened....that sort of thing. More to do with my husband being unorgansized and me being super organized than anything else. I remember when my mum died suddenly and we had no idea who we had to write to etc....I want to make sure that is covered.

 

[purpleprincess29]

It's something I would like to do, but not sure if I'll be able to bring myself to write it. I think I'd rather stay positive but make sure I tell everyone I love them. Kissing my six year old goodbye will be heartbreaking despite being excited about the operation, it's going to be one of the biggest events of my life.