Dilemma

[WobblyW]

Today I went to see the dietician who is going to refer me to the Hospital to see if they would consider me for WLS. So not a given.
My dilemma is when do I tell my partner. I know probably should have done before now. However his father has just had his stomach removed due to cancer, and is not very well. When I say just, he was diagnosed in January just after I asked my GP to refer me and has the surgery 2 weeks later. He's been in and out of hospital since. He just came out Friday. Today when we visited he was saying he wished he hadn't had it done. I'm happy with my decision to go along the WLS route, but don't want to cause my partner any further stress at this time, he's so worried about his dad, or have to deal with anyone else's negativity.

 

[Jamast]

It depends on your relationship with your partner. Do you usually tell him everything or are you always totally honest. I have many friends who keep things from their partners and it does often cause them many problems. On the other hand, I tell my husband everything - even things I am sure he will not like initially, but we do have a great relationship and have been together a long time.

I suppose it's about finding a way to approach it initially. You could always approach it similar to the way you have on here - that the dietician has suggested it, nothing is decided, nothing definite and you're really on a fact finding mission at the moment.

 

[holliepop]

hes gonna find out eventually your not doing this to hurt him in any way your doing it for you to make you feel better just explain that to him x

 

[WobblyW]

Thanks Hollie, I hear what your saying. It doesn't go as deep as that, he knows I've been to see dietician today. But the conversation today with his father was along the lines of why would someone choose to do this to themselves. His father even saying, not for the first time, I wish I'd let the cancer take it's course. My partner then went to another room to have a cry.

 

[WobblyW]

hes gonna find out eventually your not doing this to hurt him in any way your doing it for you to make you feel better just explain that to him x

I know, I just held off discussing it when his father was so ill and now it's difficult to broach the subject.

 

[holliepop]

I know, I just held off discussing it when his father was so ill and now it's difficult to broach the subject.

yeah it will be hard for you given the circumstances x big hugs x