feel like crap!

[BECKYBROWN80]

hi everyone. just needed a ear really! had a horrible experience today which left me in tears. had taken my little girl to the park and heard a little boy saying "that girl with curly hair (my beautiful daughter!) her mum is really fat!" i knew my daughter couldnt hear him and so carried on playing with her to make sure she didnt then another little girl came out with her mum and as they went past her mum mentioned to the little girl that she had the same curly hair and as my little one. as they walked awayi heard this little girl say "that boy said that girls mummy is fat" her mum just said it was a mean thing to say. but i got so upset because i was so worried about bethany hearing and being upset, it then started me off feeling so guilty that maybe she could be bullied because of me! i am really active with bethany and when i am not working we are always out and about on day trips or to the park. i am just so scared that she will be hurt by this. she starts school in september and i am so upset that she will have the fat mum at the gates! i know that this means nothing to her. i am just mummy and we are very close but i am so worried it will make her ashamed of me! sorry just needed to vent! i dont let these comments get to me but today just got me thinking about how this might affect bethany!
xx:cry:

 

[Lilyscent]

Hi Becky sorry to hear you are so upset, my children are all adults with children of their own now. I have always been big, I was 24 stone when I had each of them and as they were growing up I often rarely heard any of their friend call me fat. I did however come across this when they were teenagers and my answer was a plain yes I am fat, they usually scuttled off as they didnt know how to come back at that. I often found my childrens friends would respect me and see past my size. Its just unfortunate that some children when little come out with the obvious things and in most cases their mothers put them right.
I have to say I had a similar problem with a man whose face was disfigured and my son was staring when he was about 8. I apologised to him and made my son apologise and when we got home we had a long discussion on people that look different. I dont know if this will help you any, but your not alone I am sure at some point lots of us have gone through similar things. You will find ways to handle this as your children get olde, then again after your wls you probably wont need to worry anymore. xx

 

[831phil]

I can honestly say my children have never seemed bothered about my size. When I ask my teenage lad if anyone ever says anything to him about me he says "no, why would they?" My daughter has had one child at school say something to her and she just turned round to them and said it wasnt a nice thing to say then grassed them up to the teacher - who severely told them off! I find my kids dont actually think of me as being as big as I am - my son will compare me to people on the biggest loser and say "you are nowhere near as big as them are you?" when actually I am!! Bless him x

 

[sicknote]

HI sweets x

Kids!!!! kids can say the funniest things and the most gut wrenching awful things!
When i was growing up i didn't think my mum was any different to the other mum's until one day a kid (who's mother had fallen out with my mother) said your mum eats to many doughnuts, well i found this highly amusing i think i was 8 or 9, but when i told my mum she broke down in tears!! it shocked me so much to see her crying that i then realized what this boy had actually said was a "hurtfull" comment about my mum! Had she not of shown me it affected her i probably wouldn't have remembered it to this day, oh and the fact that when i went to school the next day i smacked him square in the chops lol (naughty but fair), you see the point i'm trying to make is if your daughter see's you are hurt or vulnerable she will pick up on any snide comment or action for the rest of her life! if i'm in town with my mum and someone so much as looks at her in the wrong way i will confront them there and then for my mums sake as i know that when we got home all she will think about is what other people think about her, she is now very insecure and dwells on what people say all the time, even innocent people my mum thinks there hating her because of her weight x please never show your daughter how much it upsets you x rise above it and protect her innocent ears from nastyness by ignoring it from the start, if it don't bother you (in her eye's) she won't feel the need to be affected by it either xxx sorry for waffling just thought i'd give you the heads up from a childs point of view (I'm not now obviously lol) take care and keep being the best mum that you sound like you are xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[BECKYBROWN80]

thanks guys. would definately not show beth i was upset by something like this. as you said sicknote protect her innocence. i am not sure why it bothered me so much today. just dont want my little girl to feel hurt by something i have done! growing up my mums weight fluctuated quite alot and she was mostly on the bigger side and having thought about it (thanks to you guys!) i never experienced any negative comments about my mum. but times have changed and this kids mum wasnt around. prob sitting on her bum at home whilst letting her brat run around the park next door!. if i heard bethany say anything mean about anyone i would always make sure she knows it wrong, i know just making a mountain out of a molehill! believe it or not i am actually a confident women who is always in the middle of everything! how i can let a kid upset me i dont know! hormones!?! who knows. thanks guys feel much better and as u said after wls this will not be an issue anymore! come on surgery! xx

 

[sicknote]

I'm glad your not going to let a little runt bring you down xxx your right kids nowadays are spitful and youv'e alway's got the complementry (dont give a toss) mother who will never correct their foul mouthed brood! but as long as we bring up our own to respect others and not be rude i think is a job well done on our part x and like you say bring on the surgery x just to make you smile .. my son is 4 years old and i was at the kings college hospital with him in the bloods department, it was packed out, rammo, heaving with all walks of life but surprisingly quiet........until my little one piped up and said" poo,what grown up's farted"! well i could have melted into my seat with the heat of my face turning red lol, luckily everyone saw the funny side including him so there was a long burst of giggles from him as i tryed to compose myself for any futher broadcasts lol xx

 

[BECKYBROWN80]

hiya thanks for that sicknote. reminded me of a few things bethany has come out with. one very recent was sitting at a bus stop i said "beth mind the lady when u climb up please." "its not a lady mummy. its a man. a big man"......urmmm no beth. i just wanted a big hole to swallow me!
in bethanys defence this lady was , how do i say it..... quite masculine and only reponding to me but still very embarrassing. i tihnk i have brought her up to be respectful and i am sure she would not make a comment to deliberately be mean. whereas this kid just looked like a spiteful little bleep!! lol
xx

 

[jo_ jo]

I always find it is the normal sized people that really dont understand what it is like been big.I know its hard and I know we shouldnt let it bother us but it does.

People just dont understand and can be so nasty. Kids are just kids until at an age where they should know better. Sorry that you had to hear it

Jo
xx

 

[BlueDiamond]

 

[goofy07]

prejudice snide comments I think my children have been subjected to this because of my weight but have never key me know trying to protect me as they know how much this affects me.

I am constantly subjected to this by other adults usually total strangers who don't know me. I used to try to walk to work but had to pass some teenagers (16-18 year olds so really young adults) every day they subjected me to pointing laughing and little. snide comments I could no longer take it so now taxi to work and avoid the confrontation.

I have brought my children up to be accepting of all and not to judge people by how they look I so wish everyone could be accepting of others.

I now avoid going out I have no social life the only places I go are to work where I can hide in my office and the supermarket once a week but quite often shop on Internet to avoid the confrontation people are cruel and the sooner I can get WLS to shed this fat prison the better.

 

[BECKYBROWN80]

it is so hard dealing with this crap. what gets me is people dont know that someone who is overweight could have a serious life threatening illness! just plain ignorance. i never have let my weight stop me from being out before and after my daughter. sorry you feel you have to do this goofy07. bet you cant wait until this feeling of hiding away is gone. just keep your head held high and remember that you are a worth a million of what some ignorant twat is!
thanks again for all the support everyone. it is so nice to feel i can share these feelings with people who understand exactly how i feel.
xx

 

[chelleN]

i have 4 children that age 14, 13, 9, & 7 and ihave to say knowing my kids they are always ready compliment me on what they see. I know they know that i am big and they are always trying to help me change it. please don't let children get to you they are just very honest when young and are with great teaching from parents they learn to be respectful as they get older.