Getting back on track

[salski]

As you all know I have been preparing for my wedding for the past few weeks, and trying to get my dress the right size etc.
In the meantime I was signed off work for over 2 months with suspected epilepsy. I have always (since I was 5) suffered with what I called 'feeling things' as I got older I then labelled them as 'panic attacks' at 13 I blacked out when having one. My mum rushed me straight to the docs, but as it never happened again all was forgotten. Then just before Christmas they got bad again and I was referred for Gestalt therapy via work. Since then they have gotten worse. Blacking out and seeing starnge visions when I have these attacks. When describing them to the doctor he seemed to think I showed signs of epilepsy and signed me off work.
Whilst all the above has been going on I have eating NOTHING but crap. Breakfast, dinner and tea along with snacks have all been *****.
I know I have maintained for weeks and my clothes are feeling the same as a few months ago.
I have well gotten into pre op habits and Im so scared to go back there and start putting weight on, but I cant stop. convenience food has crept up, as has take aways and my crisps consumption (my massive fall down) has shot up to nearly pre-op levels.
I need a kick up my bum and some home truths - this is (hopefully) where you guys come in.
Please - Im still sat here as I write trying to legitimise my nasty food habits.
Sally (Poole hehe married name) x

 

[Mixman]

Hi Sally.

I'm not very good at saying 'bad' things to people.

All I would suggest is look at your pictures. Do you want to look like you did before or are you happier now?

It's very easy to fall into bad habits but please, think of a longer marriage due to better health

 

[POPPET]

Sally step away from the fridge & empty your marital home of all foods beginning with "c"
crisps, convenience,chocolate, CR@P etc etc etc

otherwise you'll have Aunty Poppet to answer to-plus the healthier food will be better for you - sorry to hear you've been so poorly
xxx

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

Sally look how far you have come, you have done brilliantly and you looked just stunning in your wedding dress, i suggest as others have said getting rid of all the crap and also put a few pictures up on the fridge of your self at your biggest so when you go to give into temptation you will see these pics and it may make you stop and think before eating the bad foods, good luck hun ... Liz x

 

[salski]

Thank you for your replies. I have just emptied my fride of crap, and will work on the freezer tonight.
I have had a breakfast and a lunch today and I made the quiche so feeling fuller already.
I was thinking about the 5 day pouch test, but I did it a few weeks back (about 2 months ago) and although it worked for weight loss, I went straight back to old habits. I need help on all levels. I am at the hospital for the epilepsy team on Thurs and im petrified of the result of that. ie. not working, not driving etc. I will have to change my job and immigration is all I know
I will make a concerted effort, but can anyone help with why I feel hungry even after I have had 3 meals. The evenings are so bad
Sally x

 

[cazbandy]

Hi there,

I am a bander but I understand where you are at, that was me not too long ago. I had let old habits creep back and now I feel that it is actually part of the ongoing journey for a lot of us. No one ever said this was going to be an easy or smooth ride all the time, I know my journey hasn't.

You are going through a tough time, a really tough time and this means you have resorted to old comforting methods, ie food. When we had our ops, that rewired our stomachs but it did not rewire the brain.

Give yourself a break, you have just gone off the rails thats all, BUT the very most important thing you have done is recognised it. Which means you have acknowledged it and therefore you can move forward again.

You know how to get back to good ways, thats obvious from how well you have done, so there is no question that you do know how to do well.

Dust yourself down, dispose of the crap in the fridge and cupboards, get loads of good nutritious food in and more importantly look after your emotions. You are going to need to be strong over the next week or so, good food will make you feel better and calmer and stronger,

I hope it all goes well on thursday, it would be daft of me to say don't worry, so have a virtual hug and know that we are all here to help in anyway we can xxxx

 

[dottychic]

Good luck for Thursday Sal, Im at Salford on Thursday too for the One Stop Clinic, it must be the day for it

 

[jo_ jo]

Hi

Dont give up when you have done sooooo well and look fantasic. You have come too far to throw it all away.I know its easier said than done I have those days when all I want to do is eat junk but we have just started to relive our lost years and its not worth throwning the towel in for.Cleaning all the rubbish foods out is good you will soon get back on track again.

Jo
xx

 

[gaelic girl]

Well Mrs Poole look how stunning you looked on Saturday, as others have suggested post that gorgeous wedding pic and then one right beside it of you at the very start on your fridge and i'm sure you will never want to go back. I can't eat 3 meals a day as i'm too hungry inbetween. I have usually two to three snacks as well which can be yogharts, fruit, cereal bars, milky coffee or the occasional treat of snack a jacks or weight watcher cookies. Keep your evening snacks to protein if you can but since my op i have always eaten little and often and so far so good. Good luck for Thursday will be thinking about you xx

 

[Red 42]

Hi Sally

no food advice I'm afraid...but just wanted to say good luck for Thursday, you must be absolutely terrified :hug99:lets hope they sort it for you soon xx

 

[ladylite]

Well firstly good luck on Thursday, and you are bound to be worried, who wouldnt.

As the say get rid of the trigger foods from you house they are so tempting when you are down and very hard to resist. When they are around they seem like they want to give you a hug until they are swallowed and then they turn into monsters and make you feel crap emotionally.

 

[RoseA]

Thank you for your replies. I have just emptied my fride of crap, and will work on the freezer tonight.
I have had a breakfast and a lunch today and I made the quiche so feeling fuller already.
I was thinking about the 5 day pouch test, but I did it a few weeks back (about 2 months ago) and although it worked for weight loss, I went straight back to old habits. I need help on all levels. I am at the hospital for the epilepsy team on Thurs and im petrified of the result of that. ie. not working, not driving etc. I will have to change my job and immigration is all I know
I will make a concerted effort, but can anyone help with why I feel hungry even after I have had 3 meals. The evenings are so bad
Sally x

Sally - sorry to hear about the diagnosis but it needn't be as bad as you fear ! Having Epilepsy won't necessarily mean you will have to change your job, even if you're working face to face with the public. You certainly won't be the first or only person with Epilepsy in the Border Agency (I can't get used to saying that... I was in IND for a long time !) and your line management is required by law to make reasonable adjustments to enable you to continue in your job. Once you've seen the team at the hospital things will be much clearer and you'll have the information you need to have a chat with your line manager.

Good luck !

Rose

 

[salski]

Sally - sorry to hear about the diagnosis but it needn't be as bad as you fear ! Having Epilepsy won't necessarily mean you will have to change your job, even if you're working face to face with the public. You certainly won't be the first or only person with Epilepsy in the Border Agency (I can't get used to saying that... I was in IND for a long time !) and your line management is required by law to make reasonable adjustments to enable you to continue in your job. Once you've seen the team at the hospital things will be much clearer and you'll have the information you need to have a chat with your line manager.

Good luck !

Rose

Thank you for your reply. I am really thinking about being in prisons all day and then driving to and from work. If driving is a no, even for a year I wont be able to travel to prisons or to work! I guess it would be working in the town centre as at least it would be 1 bus not 2 long ones!
I dunno! And I too am an IND lass! lol x

 

[CCPM]

Hi Sally

I'm right with you on the being hungry and worrying thing. Just over a year out and I'm hungry most of the time. I did not expect this and apart from a rare can't eat anything day a few days ago I'm constantly hungry and reaching for quick solutions which are not always good ones. I just think we have to get into a new mindset and eat healthily and as gaelic girl suggested add in some healthy snacks in between. My trouble is I kmow all that but just don't seem able to do it so will be glad to see if you and Nic (who's also struggling) can provide me with an incentive to try and get back to it properly.

Good luck

M

 

[StephieAck]

I see that you eat crisps, maybe the carbs in them are causing the hunger, carbs do that.
And grazing really does do it, I was away last week and grazed the whole time and allowed myself to eat a couple of bags of crisps and the more I ate the hungrier I got. Once I came home I went back to normal but my body wasnt ready for it and my blood sugars kept dropping so I have made sure to have healthy snacks such as mini babybel light and fruit. I am managing to get the amounts down now without my blood sugar dropping and am much happier about the amounts of food I am having now and the foods are a lot healthier and I should be back to my usual stuff soon, though I am actually keeping some of the new habits as I needed to eat more, such as I make sure I have a good breakfast now where before I was just having coffee.
I would suggest slowly weaning down the crisps etc dont just banish them quickly or your body will protest, do it slowly and with purpose and you should be fine.
I definately agree with the putting a pre-op picture on the fridge and in the cupboards.
Sorry about the epilepsy worry.
Steph xx

 

[salski]

Morning all.
Yesterday was a better day, but not the best day ever.
I did continue to snack as Steph rightly stated my sugars were all over the show. I did have 2 packs of quavers and a few cola bottles. Meals wise - weetabix, crustless quiche and gammon peas and 6 oven chips.
I also cleared out the remaining crisps and today I intend to go shopping to get fruit in. Blood sugars dropping is an excuse to eat sweets and there really is no need! If fruit works for most people, then I am no different and not special.
I plan on having breakfast, quiche for dinner and nando's for tea with 2-3 better snacks incorporated IF needed.
Again thank you for your replies. I plan on keep writing here each day. So thank you.
Sally x

 

[RoseA]

Thank you for your reply. I am really thinking about being in prisons all day and then driving to and from work. If driving is a no, even for a year I wont be able to travel to prisons or to work! I guess it would be working in the town centre as at least it would be 1 bus not 2 long ones!
I dunno! And I too am an IND lass! lol x

Driving may or may not be an issue, it depends on the type of Epilepsy you have. If it does make your current job impossible the BA are required by law to help you adjust to work you can do. The daughter of a friend of mine was diagnosed with epilepsy in her first year of teacher training... but that hasn't stopped her being a teacher. BTW, I grew up with Epilepsy although I haven't taken any medication for 30 years.

Let me know how you get on at the hospital tomorrow.

Rose

 

[salski]

Thank you - and I shall know more tomorrow after my appointment! x

 

[dottychic]

Good Luck for tomorrow X

 

[12dobidog]

You look great in the wedding dress and I am sure your other half and family thoughts so to, so talk to them and ask for thier support. You did it for you and now only you can decide what to do next but they can help
Good luck for thursday