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Hello, I'm totally new to this so here goes...

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself Here' started by wiccabasket, Feb 11, 2018.

  1. wiccabasket

    wiccabasket New Member

    Posts:
    4
    Likes Received:
    18
    Start Weight:
    25st5lb
    Funding Type:
    NHS
    Hiya, my name is Lisa and I've just started Tier 3 at Addenbrookes hospital. I live in Suffolk, and it's taken over a year to get this far (thanks to American GPs not understanding how the NHS works, but that's a different story).

    I've not always been fat. When I was a teenager, I maintained a fairly normal weight. Unfortunately I was bulimic from the age of 10 and even when in brief stages of recovery, I obsessed over bingeing and purging food. This carried on until I got pregnant at 21 when I realised I couldn't risk my baby's health. Unfortunately my body did what it thought was the sensible thing to do and it piled the weight on, because it had never seen a sensible amount of food stay in place. I've never lost the baby weight. I have been to every weight loss group you can think of, and then some. Every time I've lost weight, I gained it twice over. I've fallen off the wagon regarding my ED a few times over the last 20 years, but following diagnosis and treatment of complex PTSD, this time it's stuck properly. The problem is that I am now a weight which makes day to day life nearly unbearable. I don't binge eat any more, but that doesn't matter now. The damage has been done and I know that diet and exercise alone is unlikely to be a long term success no matter how hard I try.

    I'm 40 years old. I'm 26.5 stone. My BMI is 60. This is pretty much my last chance to change my future, because at the moment I don't have one. So here I am, putting every hope I have on being referred for a Gastric Bypass. My knees and my ankles feel like they have broken glass in them at times. I have plantar fasciitis in my left foot, swelling and problems with circulation in my left leg. I'm pretty much infertile and am probably peri-menopausal due to my weight. I have a huge overhanging stomach which restricts the kinds of clothing I can wear, and I am tired of living like this. To be honest, I don't know if I can. So this means a lot to me, it really does.

    On Thursday last week, I started the intensive weight loss management program with the hospital. The first 8 weeks are liquids only (restricted to 1200 calories a day). It's hard, but I am not hungry. I cannot stress how much I look forward to my daily stock cube drink, but I'm full of milk and I'm not hungry.

    I just want a normal life where I don't break peoples sofas, or my office chair. Or have people openly point and stare at me when I eat, or move, or you know, exist. I want to do a gig without the niggling voice that says people are taking photos of you/filming you because you're fat and they are laughing at you on snapchat. I want to fly to see my parents without apologising 50 times to the person having to sit next to me on the Ryanair flight. I want to walk my dog without being in pain. I want to RUN again.

    Nobody else knows how bad it is, because I won't let people see how hard it is. I'm sure they guess, but I don't want to admit how ashamed I am of all of this, so I hide it well under a lot of lipstick and faked confidence.

    Thanks for letting me vent.
     
    Parsnip, Irene44, los in it and 3 others like this.
  2. Bling Babe

    Bling Babe Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    2,648
    Likes Received:
    4,132
    Start Weight:
    16st7.0lb
    Current Weight:
    9st8.5lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st0lb
    Lost(%):
    6st12.5lb(41.77%)
    Surgery Type:
    Gastric Bypass
    Funding Type:
    NHS
    Consultant:
    MrJain
    Surgery Date::
    5th April 2018
    Hi and welcome, I’m in Norfolk and under Luton and Dunstable, glad your doing well on the liquid diet, at Luton we have to do 4 weeks on the milk diet at the very start of our journey and I tried putting chicken OXO cubes into hot milk, I loved it, it’s like chicken soup and it may be worth a try, my surgery is 27th March so I have to do another 2 weeks on the milk diet before surgery to shrink the liver, stay positive and don’t worry about venting on here we all do it, there is so much support and advice and we all totally understand what you talk about in your post because we’ve all been there. Keep us updated xx
     
  3. wiccabasket

    wiccabasket New Member

    Posts:
    4
    Likes Received:
    18
    Start Weight:
    25st5lb
    Funding Type:
    NHS
    I tried that today and I really quite liked it - reminded me of the chicken soup you get from a vending machine. It made a change from the usual anyway :)

    At least with doing the liquid diet at the start, you know what to expect from the pre-op diet, which is what I keep reassuring myself with. If I can do eight weeks on milk then I know I can cope for two.
     
    Bling Babe and Irene44 like this.
  4. Peridot27

    Peridot27 New Member

    Posts:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    I bet there are a lot of back stories like yours - and that a lot of your aspirations are familiar too. They certainly are to me. Except the running bit (I hate running!)

    But your feet are on that path to your slimmer, healthier (physically and mentally) future. There might be twists on that path but you’re on it!

    I’m newer than you I think. I have two appointments in April but I have no idea what they’re for. I’ve been seeing a metabolic specialist for years and the second time he suggested wls, I said yes and he referred me. Not at all clear what happens next so poring over posts on here.
     
  5. Maria61

    Maria61 Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    1,590
    Likes Received:
    2,420
    Start Weight:
    19st7lb
    Current Weight:
    11st10.5lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    7st10.5lb(39.74%)
    Surgery Type:
    Gastric bypass
    Funding Type:
    NHS
    Consultant:
    Mr Jain Luton and Dunstable
    Surgery Date::
    19th September 2017
    Hi Lisa and welcome. I am also at Luton and Dunstable and know lovely Bling. Please stay strong, it will be so worth it. I had my bypass 5 months ago and in total since I first went to Luton have lost just over 5 stone so far and another 4 to go.if I can do it at age 62 you can do it. We all know and understand where you are coming from so please rant away, we are here to help xxx
     
    Irene44, Laaux and Missyme like this.
  6. Missyme

    Missyme Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    322
    Likes Received:
    303
    Start Weight:
    17st2lb
    Current Weight:
    12st2lb
    Goal Weight:
    12st7lb
    Lost(%):
    5st0lb(29.17%)
    Surgery Type:
    Band to Bypass
    Funding Type:
    Private
    Consultant:
    Mr Sigurdsson/Mr Halstead
    Surgery Date::
    20th December 2017
    Welcome! You’ve come to the right place. You will feel like a brand new person when you’ve had your op even when you’ve only lost a small amount of weight at the beginning. I’m 8 weeks post op today and the psychological effects of surgery feel fantastic. I’m not constantly thinking of/tortured by food... that in itself is worth it. I had problems with bingeing and then in starvation mode a cycle I’m more than happy to get rid of. Good luck with the rest of your journey.
     
    Irene44 likes this.
  7. madman6

    madman6 New Member

    Posts:
    28
    Likes Received:
    12
    Surgery Type:
    stomach staple
    Funding Type:
    NHS
    Consultant:
    mr schroeder
    welcome lisa,this site is brilliant,lots of helpful advice and people to talk to you and explain things
     
  8. sandra overton

    sandra overton Active Member

    Posts:
    313
    Likes Received:
    192
    Start Weight:
    15st6lb
    Current Weight:
    10st11lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st6lb
    Lost(%):
    4st9lb(30.09%)
    Surgery Type:
    Sleeve
    Funding Type:
    NHS
    Consultant:
    Al_taan
    Surgery Date::
    26th april2018
    Hi lisa welcome to the site im sandrax
     
  9. Emma1504

    Emma1504 Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    853
    Likes Received:
    1,173
    Start Weight:
    24st8lb
    Current Weight:
    22st4.5lb
    Lost(%):
    2st3.5lb(9.16%)
    Welcome can back up what everyone has said already. Feel very supported by these guys. I may have become a little obsessed with this forum if I am honest but that’s my personality all over & why I am on this journey :0icanfly:
     
  10. Dumpy Mum

    Dumpy Mum New Member

    Posts:
    5
    Likes Received:
    3
    Good luck. I' hoping you see the psychologist as they really help x
     
  11. _Victoria_

    _Victoria_ Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    541
    Likes Received:
    606
    Start Weight:
    27st6lb
    Current Weight:
    18st11lb
    Lost(%):
    8st9lb(31.51%)
    Surgery Type:
    Gastric Bypass
    Funding Type:
    NHS
    Consultant:
    Mr Nijjar
    Surgery Date::
    29/01/2018
    Welcome to the forums, Lisa! It's honestly the best place to be during your journey because everyone here to some degree knows exactly how you feel. Feel free to rant any time. It's horrible to feel like you're alone in something and i think often when you're at this point of wanting to get surgery because of your weight that's exactly what you feel. This forum is proof that you're not alone and we all need people to talk to about where we are... people that we know understand where we're coming from :)
     
    Irene44 likes this.
  12. los in it

    los in it Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    3,076
    Likes Received:
    292
    Start Weight:
    25st3lb
    Current Weight:
    16st5lb
    Lost(%):
    8st12lb(35.13%)
    Surgery Type:
    had a successful gastric bypass!
    Funding Type:
    NHS
    Consultant:
    Miss Kalpana Devalia
    Surgery Date::
    sept 18 2014
    Hello a d thank you for sharing your story
    I had a bypass and it was the BEST thing I'd ever done it gave me my life back and then some
    I'm not on here as much as I use to be (lighter body new life!) but will check in on you from time to time
     
    Emma1504 and Irene44 like this.
  13. Sarnie

    Sarnie Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    1,656
    Likes Received:
    2,974
    Start Weight:
    31st0lb
    Current Weight:
    24st5lb
    Goal Weight:
    12st0lb
    Lost(%):
    6st9lb(21.43%)
    Funding Type:
    NHS
    Hello and welcome,
    I can relate to a lot of what you have said, not the ED, but the mobility, i too have plantar fasciitis in my left foot, ankle and knee problems and did have constant swelling in my left leg, which the doctor said was due to weight, but I stopped taking sweeteners and it went away. PF has caused me to pile on more weight as you know only too well it's so painful. I'm on day 3 of a 4 week milk diet hoping for WLS. I'm on a 6 month program at Luton & Dunstable Hospital and not sure what the future holds. But I'm sure we can do this, even though it's a hard and scary process, but so is the alternative of becoming more overweight , more unhealthy and less mobile and basically having no life. I'm hoping surgery will help me get back my life and start living again.
    I'm sure if you stick to what your hospital tells you, you will reach all of your goals xx
     
    Emma1504 likes this.
  14. Parsnip

    Parsnip Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    553
    Likes Received:
    842
    Start Weight:
    23st3lb
    Current Weight:
    21st10lb
    Lost(%):
    1st7lb(6.46%)
    Funding Type:
    NHS
    Hi and welcome, I've got similar stats to you and am back on my wls journey again after having to take a year break due to falling pregnant (surprise baby) just as I started really (I'd just got my first a hospital appointment). I'm seeing them again in August but I can't be referred for surgery until I've finished breastfeeding.
     
  15. wiccabasket

    wiccabasket New Member

    Posts:
    4
    Likes Received:
    18
    Start Weight:
    25st5lb
    Funding Type:
    NHS
    Although I went a bit quiet, your kind words made me feel like I was not alone. It helped a lot, and stopped me hating myself a little bit.

    I have 4 or 5 weeks left on the weight loss management program, and I are now 21st 10lb. I'm still morbidly obese, but it's slowly coming off. Next stage is referral for bariatric surgery and I am scared that they'll say no. I think that fear is normal though.
     
    Parsnip, los in it, Emma1504 and 2 others like this.
  16. Sarnie

    Sarnie Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    1,656
    Likes Received:
    2,974
    Start Weight:
    31st0lb
    Current Weight:
    24st5lb
    Goal Weight:
    12st0lb
    Lost(%):
    6st9lb(21.43%)
    Funding Type:
    NHS
    Yes it is normal, I too fear at some point they will find a reason not to operate, I won't believe it until it's done. I'm 26st 5lb, down from 31st, so you are not alone on here with the never ending struggle with trying to lose weight and all that comes with it. I'm sure if you do as they ask on your program, it will show you are committed to making changes and they will then give you the op. x
     
  17. Maria61

    Maria61 Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    1,590
    Likes Received:
    2,420
    Start Weight:
    19st7lb
    Current Weight:
    11st10.5lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    7st10.5lb(39.74%)
    Surgery Type:
    Gastric bypass
    Funding Type:
    NHS
    Consultant:
    Mr Jain Luton and Dunstable
    Surgery Date::
    19th September 2017
    I think we all feared the surgery would not happen and only believed it when it actually took place. Keep going, you will get there xx
     
    Rosie_buttercup, Emma1504 and Sarnie like this.
  18. wiccabasket

    wiccabasket New Member

    Posts:
    4
    Likes Received:
    18
    Start Weight:
    25st5lb
    Funding Type:
    NHS
    I've been referred! I was discharged from Addenbrookes last week, having lost something like 18% of my weight, and they gave me the good news. Now waiting for my first appointment at Luton & Dunstable. Still a long way to go, but it's inching closer :D
     
    Parsnip, Emma1504, Sarnie and 2 others like this.
  19. Bling Babe

    Bling Babe Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    2,648
    Likes Received:
    4,132
    Start Weight:
    16st7.0lb
    Current Weight:
    9st8.5lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st0lb
    Lost(%):
    6st12.5lb(41.77%)
    Surgery Type:
    Gastric Bypass
    Funding Type:
    NHS
    Consultant:
    MrJain
    Surgery Date::
    5th April 2018
    That’s fantastic news and a. Fabulous weight loss too, it’s another step closer, well done xxx
     
    Emma1504 likes this.
  20. Irene44

    Irene44 Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    2,440
    Likes Received:
    4,044
    Start Weight:
    14st7lb
    Current Weight:
    11st5.0lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st4.0lb
    Lost(%):
    3st2lb(21.67%)
    Surgery Type:
    Bypass
    Funding Type:
    Private
    Consultant:
    Mr carr
    Surgery Date::
    July
    Well done fab news xxx
     
    Emma1504 likes this.
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