Hello, New member from the USA (California)

[Vyerachka]

Hi there! I'm Vera. First off, I notice everyone around here seems to be from the UK -- I'm not (San Jose, CA USA) so I hope that's ok. =)

I've been overweight most of my life (and mostly, massively). It's gotten to the point that I can't walk, hardly at all, so except for going to work (I'm an Administrative Assistant at a community college), I mostly stay home. They have a scooter for me to ride at work (thank goodness for ADA -- the Americans with Disabilities Act, which requires employers to provide reasonable accommodation), and when I do have to walk, I use a cane. I'm 52, and I'm too young to be this "old"!

Last year at about this time, I reached my highest weight: 554 lbs. I've been in bariatric surgery programs before, but always derailed myself and quit -- perhaps I was afraid of the surgery, perhaps I was afraid of losing weight, perhaps...? However, last year my knee pain got so bad that I was off work for about a month and a half because I literally couldn't take a step without agonizing pain.

Since then, I've been working on losing weight, and I'm back in the bariatric surgery program. I've met my pre-surgery goal weight (470 lbs) and then some (460 lbs as of this morning -- that's 94 lbs lost!) I have my final psych consult tomorrow morning, and then the surgery can finally be scheduled! I'm opting for a vertical sleeve gastrectomy (VSG) since it mostly preserves the anatomy without all the drastic replumbing of the RNY -- one of the things which I think scared me before.

I'm feeling really nervous about the surgery because I've lost one of my primary supporters -- my boyfriend, who was super supportive, broke up with me this past weekend over some really stupid ****, so my heart really hurts, and I'm scared about how I'm going to get through this now. I have other supportive friends, but it's not quite the same thing.

 

[Neticak]

Hey Vera, welcome to the forum.

Sounds like you're well on your way! Congratulations on taking the steps to do something about it. I spent a couple of years yoyo-ing between having WLS done or not and now that I have I think it's the best decision I've ever made!

I'm sorry to hear about boyfriend - is there no chance of reconciliation? xox

 

[Lisa876]

Hi Vera and welcome! Congrats on achieving your pre-surgery target and I look forward to reading about your progress. All the very best

 

[countrywench]

Hi Vera and welcome !

You've done amazingly well to lose all those pounds !
Must be hard to lose him but you know what , he is not who you are , if that makes sense .. This surgery is for you , all for you . The whole thing is all about you now , not anyone else .. Be selfish , don't let anyone take any part of your journey away from you , even if your heart is hurt , it will mend ..
I'm a great believer in paths walked in life , they lead us to where we are now and we cannot go back , not even a step ..
So head high our new USA buddy !
Xxxxx

 

[carol.s]

Hi Vera

Welcome

carol x

 

[los in it]

Howdy vera!
We dont mind at all where your from we all mostly all in the same weight loss journey as you ! Looks likeyour doing a fabulous job , just keep on doing what your doing

 

[janeynic]

Hi Vera. Not being from the UK won't matter at all, we're all in the same boat. We all do this because we have issues that have ultimately led us to this as a last resort. I too am an Admin Assistant at a school and have problems walking very far, due to osteoarthritis in my knees and back and disc problems. This is what has finally led me to surgery because I want to be healthier and be more mobile. It never bothered me while I was active, but since my husband had a heart attack at 48 last year (he's ok-ish now, we hope) and has got himself fit, I feel like I hold him back by not being able to get around when we go out. I'm sorry to hear about you and your boyfriend, but try to be strong, utilise your friends and family for support and remember there is always someone on here to chat to if you need to. We can all gain from other peoples experiences of this process. To keep motivated I keep thinking of the things I'll be able to do once I'm lighter and more mobile - mostly silly things like: being able to walk to the fire assembly point at work when the fire alarm goes off at work without being in agony, having a big red face and not being able to talk due to the exhaustion! It will be a real novelty when that happens! lol! Also being able to sit in any seat without wondering if it will take my weight, or if my bum will fit in it. All these 'little' things are in within our grasp thanks to this life saving surgery, so persevere, you can do it, we all can, and ultimately, do this for you, because you and all of us going through the process of surgery, are the ones who will benefit from this the most.
Take care Jane

 

[FeeBee]

Hi Vera
I'm new too and going for the sleeve too.
Well done on already losing nearly 100 pounds, that's an incredible achievement. Like you I really struggle with my mobility and that can be hard. I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend troubles too, I hope you are as ok as you can be x

 

[Vyerachka]

Hey Vera, welcome to the forum.

Sounds like you're well on your way! Congratulations on taking the steps to do something about it. I spent a couple of years yoyo-ing between having WLS done or not and now that I have I think it's the best decision I've ever made!

I'm sorry to hear about boyfriend - is there no chance of reconciliation? xox

Reconciliation... I don't know. I'm hoping so. We both really loved each other, and the breakup, like I said was over something trivial (I think so, anyway). He has blocked all contact from me everywhere (and broke up with me via email) but a mutual friend let him know how messed up that was, and how heartbroken I was, so he told her that he would try to call me this coming weekend. I realize this kinda makes him sound like a jerk, but there were circumstances. Anyway, I hope we can work through our differences and reconcile -- I love him too much not to try.

Thank you for your kind words. =)

 

[Vyerachka]

Thank you, everyone, for your kind words! I had my psych consult and got approved. I now have a surgery date: May 23rd. Suddenly, I'm absolutely terrified! It's not so much the actual surgery, but afterwards. I hope I can get through this!

 

[niccie]

Good luck from me and my fab sleeve

 

[starryeyed]

Hi vera welcome to the forum and congratulations on your amazing loss so far! Go you! Xx

 

[Neticak]

Thank you, everyone, for your kind words! I had my psych consult and got approved. I now have a surgery date: May 23rd. Suddenly, I'm absolutely terrified! It's not so much the actual surgery, but afterwards. I hope I can get through this!

Congratulations! 23rd of May is just around the corner and I'm sure by then regardless of whether you have reconciled you will be ready for it.

I realised when I booked my surgery that for years I had put been putting others first and prioritising everyone else's needs, wants and feelings in front of my own. Sometimes you have to be a little bit selfish to get to where you need to be and for me I'm so glad I came to that realisation otherwise I would have never gone ahead with the surgery. Where it comes to your bf obviously only you know the circumstances but don't let anything hold you back. You've done amazingly and come so far, you will get through it xox

 

[Kar8858]

Hi vera and welcome...
There have been a few USA surgery buddies on here before, so welcome.
Well done on your terrific loss so far and good luck with your surgery and journey.
Sounds like you are in the right frame of mind for it and thats the most important thing.
Good luck and I hope you find lots of support here x