I had my op in 2008

[TwistedTwinkle]

I had my tummy op in 2008, I was always vary large I had the op after domestic violence left me in a bad way. After I was told my BMI was 54.7 and it was a good thing I had to have it done. I am not all that happy now, mostly because of all the loss skin, I feel like a very young at heart 43 year old in the body bag of a 90 year old scary witch that you would find in a horror film.
People can be very mean I was in a pub the other day and there were 4 young men taking the piss out of my arms, it was very rude and hurtful. I didn't let it show that it bothered me but I was very upset all the way home.
I understand I had to have the op to save my life but there are days when I find it hard to look at myself now. When I do look in the mirror I only have a very small mirror so I can only see my face, I never felt that way when i was big.
Is there a support group in london?
I didn't know about the forum untill I met a lovely young lady who had just had a band put in.
I know I may sould very negitive. I have good days and bad days and today is a very low day.

 

[shelleymarie]

Oh hun, you do sound very down. I really feel for you. I'm not where you are yet but if I continue to go on and lose my weight I will be. My skin has already dropped quite drastically and I've still got a long way to go. I feel like I understand why this is getting you down so much, apart from of course those horrible boys that need their heads knocking together, is because no matter how happy you feel because of losing the weight and having a healthier longer future - you still need to be able to love your self. It's just the same as some women get depressed if they have very small breasts. Some people tell them to get over it, they are healthy so what does it matter but it does matter. We all want to feel our idea of normal. I know my skin is going to be a wreck afterwards and even if I had surgery I'm never going to have a nice body naked. That is a really hard thing to accept and come to terms with. I know I'm not there at all so I'm just trying to concentrate on weight loss. You've done that bit so now you need to work on acceptance and learning to love yourself. I think the support group idea is a fantastic idea - meeting other people in the same situation as you will be really helpful. I don't know of any as I'm not in that area but I'm sure someone will come along who does. This forum will be helpful. Everyone is extremely supportive here. Make yourself at home. It also might be worth speaking to your GP? If you are finding this is really affecting your life some counselling might help you to accept your body for what it is. It's not something you should just have to put up with, you can learn to over come it and look in the mirror again. Lastly I just ask is there any possibility for plastic surgery to help? either that you can afford or is there funding for anything in your area? There might not be and that's why I say about learning to cope and live with your body as it is first as funding is a long shot and of course not many people can afford to fund themselves. Best of luck hun, I hope you feel better soon x

 

[fab40]

Hi Twisted Twinkle,

Can I just say that even though you are feeling very low at the moment and its difficult to get out of that rut, please look at what you have achieved... from being in a bad relationship, going through an operation that is life changing and is not easy for anyone to adapt too.

There are always people that are mean in this world unfortunatly and its horrible being a brunt of some idiots joke, i think we all know on here what that can feel like.

None of us will ever be satisfied with ourselves, whether being overweight, thin, spotty, big boobed, little boobed etc... one thing that has inspired me is the paralympics, I am sure many people competing must have come across all sorts of hurtfull people but they must really belive in themselves and like themsleves to compete the way they do.

People are very supportive on this forum and its a good start you are looking at support groups, I would also go to your doctor if you can and talk about how you feel if you have not done so already.

Jane xx