Alia
New Member
Hey every one, I have a small problem, not so small I guess and am not sure how I can get myself over this.
As anyone who has read my journey will know I have had previous wls 10 years ago which left me in a huge mess.
To cut a long story short a band that should have been around the top of my stomach had slipped down to around the bottom of my stomach so I could eat food but it could n't get out so I would end up severly ill for sometimes days after eating certain things. I had such a bad experience during that surgery that I signed myself out of the hospital early and never ever went back for check ups etc and rather than face the problem suffered badly till about two years ago when I finally got myself referred to Mr Pollard at Leeds. What the problem was, was only discovered by my surgeon when he opened me up for my gastric bypass and it all became clear to him. (He had warned me that he could n't be sure what he was going to do till he saw what was going on in there as nothing had showed up on xrays and barium meals) My surgery took 5 and a half hours as he had to cut the band out as it had become embedded into the surrounding tissues and bled quite heavily.
As a result of this I developed a severe phobia of certain foods. Foods that I knew would make me ill. Meat, chicken, rice, pasta, bread, raw vegatables, raw fruit, salad.. to name but a few, are all things that I've not eaten and digested for 10 years now. I have eaten them and then thrown up, may sound graphic, deliberately as I knew if I held onto them I would be severly ill. I would end up with stomach cramps and start vomiting black stuff and it could go on for days. Sometimes the urge to resist would be so strong I had to eat them but always knew I'd get rid of it straight away cause of the effect. I've become an expert in how to make myself sick with in seconds. Also cause it was easier to eat it in a social surrounding than explain to people and to make a discreet visit to the toilet afterwards.
Things that I could eat and gave me no problem were all the things that were bad for me.. the slippy things, things that went down with no problems.. icecream, sweet things, milkshakes, custards etc, hence why I did n't lose weight.
What I'm trying to over come now is the phobia I have. My stomach is different now and it should react to the foods differently but the thought of actually eating one of them and holding on to it makes me feel really nervous cause I can't afford to be ill if for some reason I have the same reaction. My head is telling me there is no way I can have the same reaction as the plumbing has been sorted out and my bypass should react in exactly the same way as every one elses but putting it into action makes me very nervous.
Does any one have any idea how I can start to introduce these foods with out me hyperventalating at the thought of not being sick afterwards.
The only thing I have tried from the long list of foods I could n't eat before is Chicken. I litterally ate 2 tiny mouthfuls and chewed and chewed till there was nothing left and I was fine with it. I also made sure I did n't drink anything for 2 hours afterwards. I know they recommend 30-40 minutes but that always caused me problems before. I could eat for example a small amount of chicken, think I was fine and an hour later have a drink and then I would start to suffer as the chicken would still be in my stomach and the fluid had no where to go and I'd feel it rising up the back of my throat.
I'm going to see my dietician in the middle of Jan but just thought I'd see for now if any one had any ideas of how I could over come this problem.
I'm 6 weeks post surgery and still am having pretty much a liquid diet. Mainly soups, protein shakes, the odd cracker with peanut butter or marmite on it, half a piece of toast and pureed veg and I'm finding the need to chew is coming more and more and I am so desperate that I don't go down the same route as before and start to go for things that go down ok but will stop my weightloss. I have n' had the urge to sabotage my weightloss with icecream or shakes etc but I want to find a way to avoid it and start enjoying other foods so they fill the void that my body is craving for me to fill. :wave_cry::wave_cry::wave_cry:
As anyone who has read my journey will know I have had previous wls 10 years ago which left me in a huge mess.
To cut a long story short a band that should have been around the top of my stomach had slipped down to around the bottom of my stomach so I could eat food but it could n't get out so I would end up severly ill for sometimes days after eating certain things. I had such a bad experience during that surgery that I signed myself out of the hospital early and never ever went back for check ups etc and rather than face the problem suffered badly till about two years ago when I finally got myself referred to Mr Pollard at Leeds. What the problem was, was only discovered by my surgeon when he opened me up for my gastric bypass and it all became clear to him. (He had warned me that he could n't be sure what he was going to do till he saw what was going on in there as nothing had showed up on xrays and barium meals) My surgery took 5 and a half hours as he had to cut the band out as it had become embedded into the surrounding tissues and bled quite heavily.
As a result of this I developed a severe phobia of certain foods. Foods that I knew would make me ill. Meat, chicken, rice, pasta, bread, raw vegatables, raw fruit, salad.. to name but a few, are all things that I've not eaten and digested for 10 years now. I have eaten them and then thrown up, may sound graphic, deliberately as I knew if I held onto them I would be severly ill. I would end up with stomach cramps and start vomiting black stuff and it could go on for days. Sometimes the urge to resist would be so strong I had to eat them but always knew I'd get rid of it straight away cause of the effect. I've become an expert in how to make myself sick with in seconds. Also cause it was easier to eat it in a social surrounding than explain to people and to make a discreet visit to the toilet afterwards.
Things that I could eat and gave me no problem were all the things that were bad for me.. the slippy things, things that went down with no problems.. icecream, sweet things, milkshakes, custards etc, hence why I did n't lose weight.
What I'm trying to over come now is the phobia I have. My stomach is different now and it should react to the foods differently but the thought of actually eating one of them and holding on to it makes me feel really nervous cause I can't afford to be ill if for some reason I have the same reaction. My head is telling me there is no way I can have the same reaction as the plumbing has been sorted out and my bypass should react in exactly the same way as every one elses but putting it into action makes me very nervous.
Does any one have any idea how I can start to introduce these foods with out me hyperventalating at the thought of not being sick afterwards.
The only thing I have tried from the long list of foods I could n't eat before is Chicken. I litterally ate 2 tiny mouthfuls and chewed and chewed till there was nothing left and I was fine with it. I also made sure I did n't drink anything for 2 hours afterwards. I know they recommend 30-40 minutes but that always caused me problems before. I could eat for example a small amount of chicken, think I was fine and an hour later have a drink and then I would start to suffer as the chicken would still be in my stomach and the fluid had no where to go and I'd feel it rising up the back of my throat.
I'm going to see my dietician in the middle of Jan but just thought I'd see for now if any one had any ideas of how I could over come this problem.
I'm 6 weeks post surgery and still am having pretty much a liquid diet. Mainly soups, protein shakes, the odd cracker with peanut butter or marmite on it, half a piece of toast and pureed veg and I'm finding the need to chew is coming more and more and I am so desperate that I don't go down the same route as before and start to go for things that go down ok but will stop my weightloss. I have n' had the urge to sabotage my weightloss with icecream or shakes etc but I want to find a way to avoid it and start enjoying other foods so they fill the void that my body is craving for me to fill. :wave_cry::wave_cry::wave_cry:
