Another weird one ;)

[Alia]

I'm on this road of discovery and I was wondering what was the worst experience you had as a 'large' person, or what was the final straw that made you address your weight issue and seek out a solution.

It took me a while to think of this cause so many things have happened to me over the years and actually I'm quite ashamed to say that not one of them was the reason why I chose to go through wls.

I think the most embarrassing thing that happened to me was the last thing that happened to me.

In February last year I went on a trip to Iran with my husband and my newborn son to introduce him to my husbands family. My husband has never mentioned my weight to me, tells me every day how much he loves me, how beautiful I am and how sexy I am (sick buckets outside the door ) As weird as it might sound my husband really has no idea why people have bad attitudes towards overweight people and has no embarrassment about it at all and just sees me as his beautiful wife no matter how big or small I am.

For as long as I can remember every time I have flown I would need the extension for the seatbelt but I would do my utmost to try to get out of it and make it look like I had my seatbelt on cause I would be so embarrassed at them getting the extension and then fitting it while every one was looking. This trip was the first time I had been on a plane with my husband and he saw me struggling with the seatbelt and with out even saying anything he stood up and called out to the steward who had passed us 'can we have the seatbelt extension please'.. My husband is a big man with a big voice and every one heard him and I was totally mortified, I just wanted to die. After gobbing off at him he just looked at me and said baby all I'm interested in is your safety. He could n't understand why I was upset.. Bless him... I then spent the rest of the flight squirming in my seat with the arms digging into me, causing me extreme pain as we had the seats where you could n't lift the arms up other wise I would quite happily have melted into part of my husbands seat too.

After returning from that holiday I vowed that I would n't ever fly again until I was at a weight where I could fit in the normal seatbelt, that the food tray could come down and not be stuck on top of my tummy and that I could actually enjoy the flight and not feel like I'm sitting in a sardine tin!!!

Hubby has told his family we will be going to visit them again at the end of this year... I wonder if my goal would be achievable by then.

 

[lesleyweb]

im sure your goal will be achieved by then!! and yes i can relate to what you are saying, im always worried about having to walk up the aisle on the plane cos my bottom may hit other passengers sat down..ooh not a nice thought! cos i have high blood pressure i always have a fear of having a stroke and having to get an ambulance and crippling the ambulance men with my weight!! (drama queen)

 

[weight loss hopeful]

I don't fly very often (cash flow problems) so I cant relate to this story. However my reason to get wls is to be able to play with my children and not get too tired and worn out after 5 mins. They love the outdoors and love walks, feeding the ducks, nature trails, trips to the zoo, parks etc. I want to be able to do chester zoo without sitting down every 10mins. Or the park without my ankle pains. The simple things in life would be good for me. Also my daughter is in reception class and dont want the kids getting evil with her about her mummies weight! x

 

[waynetta]

Hiya Aila, I think you will definatey be ok for the end of the year, even if you only have a slow weightloss, but your not gona...so don't worry chucks!
My final straw came when I started to struggle with simple everyday tasks like..wiping your butt! That for me was it, something had to happen before I couldn't do it for myself anymore. x

 

[phatgirl]

I guess my most recent 'fat' moment was when I broke my ankle. To explain, I live on the top floor of a 4-floor flat, we have a lift but it is only accessible from the roof terrace which is a bit treacherous when I have both feet working. I fell doing nothing special and broke my ankle. We decided that an ambulance was our only real option as we do not have a car and couldn't really imagine me hoping on one leg to the lift to wait for a taxi!! When the team arrived they brought a gurney in but after looking at me had to check the manual to see if it could bear my weight. I was in pain, stressed out & mortified that I might break the stupid thing but after some maths to translate my weight in pounds to kg they determined I would be 'okay' which wasn't very reassuring I tell you. I held on for dear life as they almost bashed me into every doorway along the way. If I hadn't been taking the gas they gave me I might have gotten hysterical with fear that they would drop me.

I was already going to get the surgery by this time but it really brought it home to me that I HAD to get the surgery. It was that much of a fearful moment that I vowed then if I didn't get funding I would go in to any amount of debt to make sure I got it.

 

[Barb]

I don't think it's one 'worse' thing, I think it's a combination of all the things that being fat is doing to me!

I hate the limitations, the physical issues like achy joints, breathlessness, lack of stamina etc..
I hate that it is making me old before my time. I want the next years of my life to be fun not difficult. So, it's my choice, i can keep eating and drinking whatever I like and get fatter and fatter or I can stop what I''m doing to myself and lose weight.

I choose to change, one day at a time, till I feel better about myself.

 

[wobbles]

Like Barb, mine has been a culmination of 20 years of being overweight/obese. This has meant a lot of bullying, discrimination, humiliation, embarrassment, shame, ill health, painful joints, back problems, stares and jokes, self-loathing and a feeling of disgust when i look in the mirror. I still have that feeling, i don't see my weight loss.

Flying on planes has always been particularly painful and humiliating. Going to hospital for a day procedure and finding the hospital gowns aren't made big enough, yet having to wear them anyway.

Sharing a taxi with friends and making sure i sit in the front seat because i take up so much room in the back seat that everyone can't fit in.

Having my mother shout things like 'No, they don't go up to your size' in the middle of clothes shops.

Spending the last year feeling suicidal at my heaviest of all time, hating myself and the way i look and all of the effects the last 20 years has been on me.

And wanting to be healthy to see my son grow up, get married, have kids, be happy, and grow old with my husband.

 

[lesleyweb]

i just thought of something else...attending a family wedding and an aunt i hadnt seen for a long time saying to me 'oh lesley you are so bonny such a shame you are so fat' what a back handed compliment...sat in the background for the rest of the day!!

 

[candie]

i just thought of something else...attending a family wedding and an aunt i hadnt seen for a long time saying to me 'oh lesley you are so bonny such a shame you are so fat' what a back handed compliment...sat in the background for the rest of the day!!

Grrrr how bl00dy insensitivewhy do people think they can say what they want to us slightly larger peeps?If we were disabled it'd be frowned upon

 

[lesleyweb]

i agree!! i would hate to think i ever upset anyone in anyway...

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

the thing that made me change my chain of thought and do some thing about my weight was my little boy, i couldnt do normal things other mummies could i always had to say NO i cant go swimming with you, NO i cant play tag in the park with you ect, he was 3.5 years then and now hes 8, and now i can say YES ok son lets do it.

 

[weight loss hopeful]

the thing that made me change my chain of thought and do some thing about my weight was my little boy, i couldnt do normal things other mummies could i always had to say NO i cant go swimming with you, NO i cant play tag in the park with you ect, he was 3.5 years then and now hes 8, and now i can say YES ok son lets do it.

Thats what I want to do. I always try but do get tired easy x

 

[tesmaralda]

i think the inal few straws were i had to have an mri scan for my back problems, the physio arranging it assured me good hope had a scanner big enough, got there got undressed and put the scrubs on as nurse couldnt be bothered to get me a couple of gowns. To say i got them up as far as my hips but not over my belly with a lot of huffing and puffing i was hot and sticky to say the least then i had to try and get the top on. I was standing hovering when the head honcho came out and said take a seat it will be 5 or so minutes. I sorted of laughed and said i'd rather stand as i dont think the rather fetching outfit would be sble to take it. She then did a double take and was horrified and asked my why I didnt put a gown on. When i told her this was all that was available she looked very embarassed and ran off to get some more gowns. I was mightily pissed off and rather emabarassed at this point. But worse was to come. I got on the scanner and there was a nervous pause, i was then told it was going to be a very tight squeeze anyway i got in and got comfortable little did i realise that i would not be able to get back in to that position to getout. Well ii got stuck and took the skin off my elbows and forearms. To cut a long story short have since been told that the problem is arthritus only to have some skinny pain clinic physio tell that my only problem is eating to much and sitting at home in my comfy chair doing nothing all day. So when th edr came in and told that my weight was the problem and not the wear and tear that was causing the problem he then proceeded to say that my large belly is putting strain on the damaged area, well needless to say id had enough at this point and had a rather unpleasant emotional out burst in which everything came out. To my amazement the attitude of the dr changed he became much more understanding and apologetic and said to come and see him in 2 weeks at the drs surgery and he would refer me for wls and true to his word i am now on th ewaiting list for a bypass.

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

Thats what I want to do. I always try but do get tired easy x

and you will do it !! i also got tired very easily, but now i have the confidence to interact with my child and be the mum i always wanted to be, not just for me but his sake to. you will do this, you can, and you will hun.

liz x

 

[weight loss hopeful]

and you will do it !! i also got tired very easily, but now i have the confidence to interact with my child and be the mum i always wanted to be, not just for me but his sake to. you will do this, you can, and you will hun.

liz x

Thank you Liz. Your support means a lot to me. You can and will do it too. Take care R x

 

[waynetta]

Thats awful T, but on a positive note, here you are waiting for your surgery, things happen for a reason. x

 

[tesmaralda]

Thats awful T, but on a positive note, here you are waiting for your surgery, things happen for a reason. x

well its the first and last time i've ever had friction burns in public lmao

 

[waynetta]

lol hey you may get um again in public...but a different way perhaps. especially when your thinner.

 

[shelbell]

For me it was becoming disabled. That happened very quickly for me, I went from doing a 5K charity walk one year to relying on walking sticks and a mobility scooter 6 months later. Although my disabilities aren't caused by my weight, it makes them considerably worse. I became aware that I could get worse very quickly without warning, and would then need to depend on someone for personal care etc. That person would end up being my husband, and I couldn't put the burden of caring for a 20stone+ woman on him.

The other shock was seeing my rheumatologist a few years ago, and he was examining my knee joints. He told me if I stayed at the same weight I would need a knee replacement within 10-15 years (I was about 25 at the time).

 

[tammy]

god where do i start. numbers of thing really but the biggest one which really made me decide i couldn't carry on the way i was was when i took my 2 little girls to wacky warehouse. my youngest who at the time was 18 months was playing and i followed her through a tunnel only to get stuck!!! i couldn't move and started to panic. my eldest daughter 7 said it's ok mummy i'll push you! it broke my heart i should have been able to play with my kids without needing them to help me or worry about me!

since losing the weight i take great pride in running around wacky like a mad thing the kids have to keep reminding me it's playtime for them not me!!!

also my now 8 year old wraps her arms around me and says mummy my arms reach all the way around you with room to spare. it makes me feel so proud! x