Keeping it a secret...

[slp2014]

I agree kursty, I have only told my hubby x not my close family ie father he is very against it therefore it's not worth the hassle of telling him, I want support not negativity xx :0)

 

[Banderbird]

He's basically given me until Xmas to see how much weight I can lose by myself and if I'm not successful then he will pay for my operation in full

He doesn't want me to go down the operation route :/ cause he doesn't think I'm big at all

Well that's not too bad, but remember it's about what YOU want and how YOU feel, not what he thinks.

Also, I'm sure you can lose weight, we all can, and have done, but how long for?

The problem is keeping it off, and THAT is what the band helps so much with. No more yo-yo dieting.

Good luck.

 

[Bear]

Just re-reading this thread and I'm among the 'tell limited people' brigade. But it does beg the question why is obesity so taboo? Why do we feel unable to talk to people about our addictions to food? Alcoholics, smokers, drug abusers etc, are all seen as people that have an 'illness'. It's portrayed on TV (Corrie/Eastenders etc) that alcoholism and drug abuse is all due to an 'illness'. And yet 'obesity' isn't covered at all! How many obese actresses/actors do you see? I just think it all adds up to our secretive nature. I'm of the 'it's no one else's business' belief. What does everyone else think!

 

[kurstywursty]

I am normally an open book. Too open. It's leave me vulnerable at times. I can't actually understand why I can't tell anyone bout my surgery! I don't know if I'm ashamed that I just couldn't do it in my own or whether I don't want people to think I cheated and had it easy....which anyone on this journey knows is not true. It is soooooo not me to be so secretive

 

[Banderbird]

There are too many misconceptions about it, and no matter what you say, people will still see it as the 'easy option'.

Also, if you don't end up being a stick, they'll be quick to tell you how it's failed and what a waste of money it was, so it's easier to keep quiet!

I think it's no-one's business, the only reason I told anyone at all is because I eat with them.

 

[slp2014]

So, my partner and my family know and have spoken it through in detail and I am going ahead with the gastric band procedure... Got the dates of either the 17th October or the 5th November...

What did you tell your boss at work why you would be off for 1or2 weeks on sick leave. I know the sick note doesn't mention a gastric band but what do you say if you don't want to tell your boss the truth behind the operation (my boss is male)

I'm only telling a limited few people x

 

[BandedHun]

I'm the same as most on here, no one but my partner knows. Food wise its so hard not to tell him when you will be eating so very little and all the side effects ...

Good luck xxx

 

[senoritaa32]

I've actually taken 6 days holiday to avoid telling my boss. My surgery is on Friday, good luck! I am happy you got round to getting the support you needed x

 

[slp2014]

It's definitely a weight off my shoulders... )

 

[alfiemoomin]

I have told very close family and 2 very very close fiends, i have not told anyone else especially work as i work in a dragons den of witches who constantly talk about diets, calories and thin celebs and awful fat people !

for work i have taken leave (I'm self employed and work are effectively my customer), i have said I'm having a small procedure and when 1 nosey bag ask what i politely said its to do with lady features & possibly waterworks and merely due to being one of the joys of being female! I moved from the subject matter calmly and quickly.

As far as i am concerned its very much a personal choice, tell who you know will respect you as a human being and that you have choices, and these can't be taken from you.

I always say those who love you will understand, those who love you could struggle with it, only because its worrying for them. I also appreciate we occasionally have a relative who's just a down right opinionated pleb... but we continue to love them, warts and all.

Do what you feel is right, at whatever time is right. I am glad that hubby does know and understands- i had a hubby who would have done anything to put me off and not entirely for good reasons!

xx

 

[alfiemoomin]

fiends ha ha ha i meant friends x

 

[SHARONA]

Is anyone in a situation like me? Where you know your partner and family would be disapproving of the band?

My family and partner are aware that I am dieting and that I do go through phases of trying 'fad' diets... I could quite easily say the milk diet/ purée stages are just a fad?

I understand I will probably get negative responses to this post, but speaking to my family re. Gastric banding is a no no.

I could quite easily hide the wounds from my partner he wouldn't notice...

How easy is it to hide the smaller portion sizes?

Hi and welcome .Im down for a bypass.I found it hard telling people and for that reason I only told my partner and children and one friend. However I did not tell my mom friends or work,as have had some very negative comments I have said what they are on another post in here. My mom would be worried so therfore i didnt say anything and she will be away on holiday any way she also isnt very confidential and believes no harm in telling her neighbours and others about me. However if something happens to me im writing a letter to be handed to her .I do feel that you should tell your partner in order to have some support as its such a lonely journey if you have to keep to your self you need so much moral support. However its your choice you have your reasons for telling them .Best wishes hun x

 

[Banderbird]

So, my partner and my family know and have spoken it through in detail and I am going ahead with the gastric band procedure... Got the dates of either the 17th October or the 5th November...

What did you tell your boss at work why you would be off for 1or2 weeks on sick leave. I know the sick note doesn't mention a gastric band but what do you say if you don't want to tell your boss the truth behind the operation (my boss is male)

I'm only telling a limited few people x

Glad you're going ahead as it's what you want. Good for you!

I was off work for eight days (could have gone back after 6 if I'm honest), and just told them I was having surgery. I didn't say what, and let them assume it was 'lady stuff'. If my boss had asked what it was, I'd have said a hernia op - but he didn't! No-one else asked and I didn't volunteer the info. No-one's business.

 

[Julcsi]

Just read this post as I dont come here often.
just wanted to say it can be done not to tell your husband and kids. Over 2.5 years out and they don't know about the band.
it was my choice but I dont regret not to tell to anybody in.my family.

 

[mizkirsty]

Just read this post as I dont come here often. just wanted to say it can be done not to tell your husband and kids. Over 2.5 years out and they don't know about the band. it was my choice but I dont regret not to tell to anybody in.my family.

My partners the only one who knows. I honestly couldn't keep it from him. Plus I wouldn't want too. I won't be telling anyone else! X

 

[2nd chance Jo]

I'm not plastering it all over Facebook but will tell anyone who needs to know and after anyone who asks, also I haven't instructed my friends or other family to not say anything to others I'm really past caring! But I was originally not going to tell me dad till afterwards but if summat was to happen I thought it best incase something happened when I get bypass. He went mental but apologised and he's just worried for me but knows I need to do this x

 

[HelenAngelfish]

Only people that know:

One sister (the other is only 16)

Four friends who are in different social circles so no one else will ever find out lol

Work people (I've been completely open to them)


Everyone else, my parents, family other friends. Just think I'm on another one of my diet phases lol xx

Sent from my iPhone using WLSurgery

 

[alfiemoomin]

you know what, i think we all know who we want to tell and absolutely who we flipping week wouldn't and thats because of negativity or because someone will worry about us. It boils down to personal choice, and to be honest as people get over the disappearing us, and then only recall us being slender the issue goes away along with the weight x

Helen i do think your right with younger sis, as she won't have understood your struggles to diet and keep slimmer and also won't then think well ill go straight for extreme when i have a problem to solve. x

 

[kurstywursty]

I kept mine a secret before hand and for a couple of months after....but now I am very open about it. It was my dietitian who suggested it might be easier for me in social situations if my friends and family knew. This was after I felt pressured into drinking at. 60 birthday event. I actually feel better about telling folks and have not had a single negative reaction

 

[kurstywursty]

Oh but I should add...there was no way I could tell anyone in the early days....it had to feel right for me to disclose this huge secret.

Funny my my close family don't know yet they are I. Arizona and I just don't know how to tell them. Will do so early next year when I see em face to face