Negative people...

[fab40]

I am really upset..

Sorry just need to get this off my chest.

My sons father who left me for an other when pregnant who has been nothing but a pain in the bum.. he does not pay for his son and with me being soft and for the sake of my son i allow him to see our child every other weekend and more. I know my son is safe with him and what ever i think of his father he is a boy and like any child needs a relationship with their dad.

I have had to tell him that I am having an operation on the 1st Sept as i think he should know. He just asked me what I am having done and I have told him and he has just gone mental on the phone saying that its ridiculous that he knows someone who died from the band operation at christmas, he seems to know all about the operation and everything! saying that why dont i go on a diet and exercise.

Now I have not been with him for 6 years and I have dieted and exersised lost weight put it on... you all know what I mean.. But I feel so annoyed that he would not even let me explain myself...

I have a wonderful partner in my life now and he is very supportive and wants me to be healthy and happy

Why is that some people just are mean and just think that they know it all...

I also just popped to the garage to get some petrol and this complete stranger just said to me.. do you know you have a rash all over my arms... I dont have a rash I have pysirosis all over my body and just smiled and said yes thank you... I would never dream of going up to a stranger and saying anything to them about their skin, weight or dress sense or anything.. what is wrong with some people...

Oh..

Sorry to go on...

Jane x

 

[Bella'sBand]

Hey Jane,

Why is it any of this guys business? He left you when pregant, does not contribute towards the financial strains your child entails yet he feels he can scream down the phone at you about something that has got ZERO to do with him?
If you are alright with it and your partner is alright with it, just tell this ''person'' to build a bridge and get over it!
As for the person in the garage wow how rude. You see some people are so insecure about themselves they need put others down to make them feel better.
You have a good old rant any time you like, I for one am all ears.
Tell your ''ex'' that you know a man who got killed crossing the street, so best he never tries crossing the road again! Or rather maybe he should go playing with the traffic hmmm...
I am furious for you, what is wrong with people! Geez!

 

[Evenstarr]

Hi Jane,
Firstly, what on earth gives your ex the right to tell you what you can and can't do with your life....if I was you I'd tell him exactly where to get off!
And as for people dying from gastric bands, I don't know, but when I had my group session they told us there was less risk having a bypass than having your tonsils out, and as a bypass is the riskiest of the ops I can't imagine the band carries very much risk at all.
But a negative person will always find the worst case scenario to throw at you....my gran talked about miscarriages all the way through all 3 of my pregnancies, then it was cot death after the baby was born
It sounds like your current partner is a good guy, who wants the best for you.

And as for the woman in the garage, she sounds just plain rude, I don't know who these people are who think its ok to comment on strangers appearances etc, take heart in the fact that not everyone is as rude as the woman in the garage or your ex.
Em xxxxx

 

[fab40]

Thanks Em x

 

[Wobbletogo]

It is a wonder why these people think their opinions are so important, but remember they are who they are and they will do what they do.....but how you react to them is your choice. Don't let them get to you. Do as you did in the garage, just smile, thank your ex for his consideration and then get on with living life how you want to..and good luck with it all x

 

[hotcathy33]

You will always come across negative people. Doing something like this opp will benefit you and your sons like to such an amazing level that all these negative things will and are not important. You go out there and hold your head up high. Always.

 

[Galaxy47]

I haven't told my son or my daughter about my operation as I know what cruel comments I would/will get from my ex hubby (their dad).

Take no notice about what your ex has said just think you can stick the proverbial two fingers up to him when you have lost your weight and let him think at what he has lost.....

Your new partner is supportive and that is all that matters but I know how cruel people can be and just don't have a bone of tact or diplomacy in their body.

My dad was admitted to hospital on Monday as he is suffering from heart and kidney problems, he is on steroids and has put on at least three stone a lot of this is to due with proteins leaking back into his body and he is really bloated. We walked past a woman sat in a cubicle with her husband who was on an oxygen mask and she says 'whoooo look at the size of him!!' my mum heard her say it luckily I didn't because I would have said something to her!! But do these ignorant people think that big people don't have ears??? I have even heard comments about 'you can see who has eaten all the pies' and this was from his specialist!! I personally would have reported him but my mum heard this and didnt want to cause a fuss...

Sorry for hijacking your post but it makes my blood boil as how insensitive people can be. What happened to live and let live??

 

[Retfordmag]

There are risks with any op, thats why we have pre op diet to a)help us lose weight to make op safer b) soften liver to make it easier for surgeon to access our stomach.

Close friends and family know about my surgery, but haven't splashed it all over facebook as im sure some would comment in the negative.

The one person I was dreading telling was my mam. For years she has nagged me to lose weight yet still used to pile up plate etc. I'd tried to mention the op before to her but as soon as I mentioned surgery she blew her top.

I was going to say was going into hospital for other surgery but in the end thought I had better tell her the truth (well the truth with a little white lie). Told her two days before that I was going in for a band (not the bypass that I did have) and was surprised by her reaction. She didnt rant and rave and instead said she realised that I needed to do something. Told her this was a last resort as I didnt want to be in an early grave and have her burying me (we lost my dad a year ago)

 

[Maphillips]

Hi Jane
I am a man but men like this just really make me so mad they are control freaks who enjoy causing stress and upset as much as they can
Just ignore him and move on with your life he is not worth upsetting yourself over
Lose the weight and make him jealous off what he lost and cannot have
And you are right to have a moan were all here to help and listen
Take care and ignore him
Best wishes
Mark