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please answer this ....

Being different is what makes us human and you are every bit as good as her if not better!!!
This will be a good year for you and the start of a bright future.
I was a BIG mistake came 16 years after my sis and 15 years after brother so never had a great relationship with them as they had left home before i was old enough to be part of their lives, just life i guess.
Head up and get your butt into gear for the op xxxx
 
I have five daughters (and two sons.) I am very close to at least two of the girls, probably three. I have a good relationship with the fourth, and a cordial if cool relationship with the fifth, never been sure what's going on between us to be honest.

I am very close to my youngest son, and get on fine with my other son.

They are all adults and married, two of them are grandmothers themselves.

I think when kids are growing up there's a fine line between being a mum and a friend, and being a friend instead of being a mum. Your word has to mean your word, and you can't try and please them too much to get their favour. But when they're grown and flown, you can show your own vulnerability and then they can nurture you instead.
 
I don't think it's a Mothers role to be a best friend, her role is to be a Mother; it's your best friends role to be your best friend. A Mother - daughter relationship is so special and close, it's full of trust and understanding...however I would never discuss my sex life with my Mother - that's the main difference for me!! LOL
I think that we all deserve to have a best friend and it should not be a blood relative as they already have a special place in your heart, we should all have room for both!!!.
 
I didn't say a best friend , we both have them & they are not each other .
I could never go to my mum with my problems or for advice , I want my girls to feel at ease with me & be able to talk to me
 
Some will and some won't. I am the same mother (as far as I know) to all of them and yet one of them doesn't feel close :(
 
Aw Cheryl ... :) what a shame parenting doesn't come with an instruction manual :( You can only be responsible for your own methods, not your sisters & if it works for you, then nuff said. :) I have 2 adult married daughters & a single adult son & when they were growing up I was quite tough on them (I thought) but when I ask them about this they say, no you were always a push over :eek::eek: My hubby is a real softie so I felt I had to be the disciplinarian, but obviously wasn't as strict as I thought. :D I do know they have always been able to talk to me & still do. We are very close now so guess I must have got it right in the main. All kids are different too so what works for one, is not appropriate for another, but no one knows their child better than their mum so you just need enough discipline to make them into responsible, rounded adults. (my mum made me a bit too round :eek:) You sound like a lovely Mum, sweetheart so stop the angst & enjoy your special relationship with your girls :):) xxx
 
Thanks Denise , I know I'm not perfect , but I do my best . It's not easy being mum & dad , I just try
 
Absolutely you can be their Mum and their friend too! I am REALLY close to my Mum and told her EVERYTHING when I was growing up... Even that I'd lost my virginity at 17 which I have to admit she struggled to handle lol but she never once judged me or made me regret telling her. And while we didn't discuss sex after that she'd already made sure that I understood the importance of birth control and waiting until I was mature enough and in a relationship.

Now that doesn't mean she didn't punish me if I admitted to getting up to mischief like watching The Omen in my bedroom when I promised I wouldn't and then having to go down stairs to admin what I'd done as I was so scared I couldn't sleep.

However, I never kept any secrets and told her everything my friends were up to as well which I encourage now with my daughters and thankfully they both spend ages after they come in from school updating me on the latest gossip - which is fantastic as you can judge which friendships to encourage or discourage. But more importantly if they keep telling you then you can try to help with any problems rather than trying to guess what the problem is and finding out too late x
 
My wife always says that my eldest Daughter is her best friend.x
 
My daughter and son live 320 miles away with there dad. Not my decision, and yes it's not ideal and is very hard on me.
Things over the years have been quite strained with my 18year old daughter at times as she feels very torn between me and her father. But this year I can honestly say she has become my best friend finally. We have the best relationship and have become close. She has moved out and gone to university of which I'm very proud.
This Christmas and new year has been the best ever I've spent with her. We've laughed a lot. Talked endlessly and opened up to each other. She is so supportive about my forth coming op too. So yes I agree that daughters can be your friend too :)
 
OOnion said:
I don't think it's a Mothers role to be a best friend, her role is to be a Mother; it's your best friends role to be your best friend. A Mother - daughter relationship is so special and close, it's full of trust and understanding...however I would never discuss my sex life with my Mother - that's the main difference for me!! LOL
I think that we all deserve to have a best friend and it should not be a blood relative as they already have a special place in your heart, we should all have room for both!!!.
Click to expand...
mine does :rolleyes: lucky me lol
 
TwinkleTwinkle said:
Hope you don't reiterate, lol :eek: that would be a short conversation .... :D xxx
Click to expand...
hahahaha cheeky mare!! true though, but i can give her the benefit of my experience :D xxx
 
I have to tiddlywinks, one nearly 15 (girly) & a nearly 13 (lil soldier)....

I have always been friends with my kids, I love teir company etc etc. In recent times particularly with my daughter she has taken advantage of our 'friendship' helping herself to expensive make-up/perfume (frequently using it all so when I go to get some foundation etc for business meetings there is none left, designer jewellery, handbags & more recently anyting she wants out of my 'thin' wardrobe, jeans jumpers skirts trousers you name it - all when I am out at work or asleep!

I believe that this is partly out of a total dis-regard for my being the parent and her the child, because I didnt set the boundries in concrete!

I am her mate, mates share so its her right to help herself! We have argued til I am blue in the face, I now refuse to buy anything, I have to take make up and jewellery to work most days etc etc etc! It really upsets me! But I LOVE HER TO BITS :cool::cool:

My son is a pleasure, thoughtful and helpful!

But.... I think its as much about mutual respect for each other, if you respect that your children have valuable opinions & are entitled to them & you support not judge then you will always be friends....

I would much rather know the truth however awful it is so that if there is a problem it can be worked on and resolved...I always tell my kids that a problem shared is a problem halved and there aint many things that their Mum cant fix (except being a greedy minx) xxx Oooo in 2weeks I'll have even fixed that xxx

Keep the faith :flirt2:
 
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