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Please help having last minute wobbles!

T

triedeverything

New Member
I'm due to start my pre-op diet on Tuesday next week and surgery date is 21st May... have been 100% sure and certain until today when I suddenly started worrying that I would never be able to enjoy a drink again. I like to drink most weekends and being in a band, I work in pubs and clubs, so alcohol is something I enjoy (in fairly moderate proportions) and I would like to eventually be able to drink again (moderately!). I am worried I won't be able to again.

Also starting to panic that life post-sleeve will mean I will feel like I'm missing out at mealtimes with family and friends.. part of me wants to feel nothing towards food and to stop thinking about it all the time as I always seem to be looking for something to eat. I want to be able to run off to the gym and lose it the old fashioned way but due to my knees I can't do that right now and more importantly I seem unable to sustain any real long term weightloss.

In my heart of hearts I do know that this surgery is the right option for me but I feel I need to state my worries and hear your views if I can? Also my husband is now supportive of it, but is worried that it's completely irreversible and that if I regret it later, well it will be too late for regrets. I know without doubt that I won't ever regret losing all my weight that is the ONE thing I can categorically state here and now. I know this won't be easy but I just hope that in the weeks and months to come, when I'm serving dinner for the family and can only eat a few mouthfuls, that I will be ok with that. It would be great to feel differently about food and totally lose the desire to eat and control me as it does now.. I guess I'm just looking for some reassurance about all this!?
 
I can't imagine that if all goes well and you give your weightloss you all by using your sleeve as a tool that you could ever regret having it done.

I still love to cook meals and yummies alike and I still enjoy my food. It is rarely frustrating to not be able to eat large quantities of it, in fact quite the opposite, it's liberating to not even want to. Make tasty food and go for quality not quantity and you too will still very much enjoy your food.

When eating out, I make a point of ordering food that I want to eat, not always just a starter or a kids meal etc. i take along an empty takeaway box and bring home the rest for lunch / dinner for the next couple of days so that I don't resent the (perceived) increased cost.

With just a bit of my excess weight off my confidence has soared and I am genuinely happier and as a result calmer. I'm already not so angry at the world (myself really!). It's amazing to have taken back control and to know that this is not just going to be another diet where I lose a few stone and then scoff it all back on (and then some) as soon as the first possible excuse (Xmas, birthday etc) presents itself.

With regards to alcohol, I believe it's not recommended at all for the first year but you can decide whether you will stick to the rules or not. It's not a worry for me as I was such a rare drinker pre op anyway. I would say though that there is more to life than food and drink...................but I didn't know it until a few months ago!!

Its normal to get the collywobbles, it's a massive decision. Just be sure you are ready, willing and able to make the sacrifices that you'll need to make to be succesful and then go for it! I personally can't recommend it enough and spend a ridiculous amount of time wondering why I ruled this out for so long!!

Massive good luck wishes. x
 
Thank you JoJo, it's great to hear you still enjoy your food and have no regrets, that's what I need to hear. I suppose I will make adjustments on the booze front, well I'll have to.. just might be a challenge because of the environment I'm in but I did know this.. just hoping I could have the occasional drink I suppose. Thank you again, and congrats on your brilliant weightloss!!
 
Hey triedeverything, am sure its normal for our brains to be working overtime at the minute. I cant tell you what its going to be like afterwards. But I no their is certain people on here who still can have a drink, (and I am on about larger). weather they drink it only now and again I don't no. but you will never no if we don't try. and I am sure you will be able to sit down at your family table, for a family meal. once every think has settled down after the opp. it might only be small quantity's but at least you are all together. I am sure you will make the right decision. Massive hugs x
 
thank you Caraline.. yes I'm sure family mealtimes will still be do-able once healed.. it will be an adjustment for us all.. my kids are used to seeing me pile up my plate and suddenly I will only be eating very small amounts. They don't know I'm having this surgery which has added to my stress levels as I hate keeping secrets from them but I just don't want them to be scared or worried and they will not like it at all if I tell them about it.
 
How old are your little angels? I was a bit worried about my kids. But mine are old enough to no. yes am doing this major surgery for me, but for them too. and when I told them what kind of things we could enjoy together. they were happy for me. Obviously they will be worried on the day of the opp. but once I have rang them they will be OK. But I really understand from your point of view, specially if your kids are young. good luck hun x
 
I had a bypass not a sleeve, but what I want to say apples to both. At least to begin with, post-op your perspective changes a bit. What was important regarding eating and drinking doesn't seem quite so important any more. If I knew pre op, what I know now I would not have worried nearly quite so much. I did all my grieving for food while I was on the waiting list, and now I find I can eat what I like! With regards to socializing, you'll be surprised how easy you adapt!
 
Hi, I was told three months after op for alcohol. I think it varies what people are told. I drank a lot before my op, but haven't had any since, but I've decided on that as I know it's my weakness.
Food wise you'll be fine! I was so scared like you, but I had my op at the end of feb, and now I'm eating out once a week, and having proper meals, just less of it. I can eat more than I thought I'd be able to, and I can eat all types of foods. But it's still so much smaller than what I used to eat, and it's not an issue, you just enjoy what you have and you're satisfied.
It's a great tool, and you won't regret it x
 
Having last minute nerves and not drinking

Hi, It is normal to have last minute nerves but it will all be worth it in the end. The feeling of buying clothes straight off the peg is one of the most rewarding things going. Not feeling bloated and fat sitting on chairs etc. is just wonderful and when the compliments start flying it is great.
On a serious note though, once everything settles down and you start to feel so much better, able to walk further, not getting breathless is just out of this world.
As for drinking, I used to drink before the operation but now I find that I don't like the taste of wine or spirits, may be just me but I have a Bailey's and ice every now and then but I don't miss drink it at all.
When I go out for meals, I have a starter as a main or I have even had a children's portion. No one bats an eyelid. Since I have lost all my weight I don't think about food as I used to. I have to remember to have lunch/tea sometimes. Looking in the mirror as I pass it and I think, is that me looking so great, is the best medicine in the world. Good Luck and I hope everything goes well.
 
triedeverything said:
I'm due to start my pre-op diet on Tuesday next week and surgery date is 21st May... have been 100% sure and certain until today when I suddenly started worrying that I would never be able to enjoy a drink again. I like to drink most weekends and being in a band, I work in pubs and clubs, so alcohol is something I enjoy (in fairly moderate proportions) and I would like to eventually be able to drink again (moderately!). I am worried I won't be able to again.

Also starting to panic that life post-sleeve will mean I will feel like I'm missing out at mealtimes with family and friends.. part of me wants to feel nothing towards food and to stop thinking about it all the time as I always seem to be looking for something to eat. I want to be able to run off to the gym and lose it the old fashioned way but due to my knees I can't do that right now and more importantly I seem unable to sustain any real long term weightloss.

In my heart of hearts I do know that this surgery is the right option for me but I feel I need to state my worries and hear your views if I can? Also my husband is now supportive of it, but is worried that it's completely irreversible and that if I regret it later, well it will be too late for regrets. I know without doubt that I won't ever regret losing all my weight that is the ONE thing I can categorically state here and now. I know this won't be easy but I just hope that in the weeks and months to come, when I'm serving dinner for the family and can only eat a few mouthfuls, that I will be ok with that. It would be great to feel differently about food and totally lose the desire to eat and control me as it does now.. I guess I'm just looking for some reassurance about all this!?
Click to expand...
I can't reassure you in a sense. These worries are not only normal, but its a good thing that you're aware of them. Some days I am so pleased with my portion and I feel virtuous. Other days, I resent it. Now don't get me wrong I would do it all over again, but our relationship with food isn't that simple. The good days far outweigh the bad though! And I make sure every meal tastes amazing and savour it, so I still get enjoyment from my sideplate of food.

For my the bypass was my only choice - and I knew it. from what you say, sounds like you have thought this through and made the right choices with your sleeve.

As for regrets..there will come a day post op. Where your weight loss will stall for a week. Where you are still eating smush. Where the anaesthesia hasn't quite left your system and you realise that you have just signed the dotted line on fighting your weight problem head on for the rest of your life. And if you're me, you'll cry a bit. You'll rummage through your wardrobe and realise things still don't look right. And you'll wonder if you've done the right thing. And then you'll lose again and you'll know. You'll accept the sacrifices you've made because the rewards are so much sweeter. The joy of running with children, of your body moving to music, of people asking about your secret, of browsing ebay for your size and finding clothes from river island and lipsy and wallis. You'll still have the odd day where you'll wonder why the hell you couldn't do it without your sleeve. But in the end you'll make your peace and fall in love with it.
 
you'll be fine. Best thing I ever did.

I'm just over 2 months out. Have eaten out a few times. First time was about 4 weeks out. I had a bowl of soup in John Lewis's - didnt want the roll, so they made it cheaper. No reasons asked. Didnt finish it - but felt normal.

Ate out with some of the mums from school last Friday (Chinese) - had seafood in a birdsnest basket. No starter, no rice - jut the main. Loads of lovely seafood and veg. Over the time, I ate 3/4 of it (excluding most of the basket). I had a glass of water - and only had a few sips.

On bank holiday monday, I went to a pub for lunch with my son and husband. Littleun (4)wanted cottage pie which wasnt on the childrens menu and they wouldnt do a 1/2 portion - so I ordered it with an extra plate and they were happy for us to share. Luckily, it cam on it's own - no salad or anything else. He had a bit more than me - but it was perfect size for us sharing !

I dont drink as dont enjoy it - so no comments on the alcohol side of things

I DO still occasionally have some pepsi max. I've got a small bottle in the car and occassionally have some. I can drink 1/4 of the small bottle on an empty stomach which fills me up if I'm hungry and cant access food..... so it lasts me several days :)
 
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