Seriously in need some help/advice please..bit of a long one

[wannabeanewme]

Well.. am back..

I haven't been here since Nov last year but right now.. feel like am going mad

I've never felt so down and alone as I do right now and am struggling.. so badly.. I feel a failure right at this moment in time and am sat with tears pouring.. Since I last posted, have got rid of the infection that had plagued me for almost 10mth of 2011 and I've cut out gluten, things improved and the bloating etc has all but stopped. One thing that I can't get my head round though is my weight has crept.. again.. and I feel disgusted in myself because of it. I haven't over-ate, I've struggled with exercise but slowly been getting that back on track but feel like its not enough any more.

I don't want to keep feeling like this.. am sick of hovering @ 16st 7.. I got down to 15st 8 last year and got ill but its like my body hasn't fully recovered and is holding on..but its holding on to extra weight and I don't know what else am meant to do - to shift it and kick it again

Because am avoiding gluten (which by the way is in everything you can think of..go check your cupboards ladies and you'll see what I mean..) although my diet is still varied - fresh veg daily, white meat such as chicken or pork, 1 g-f (gluten free) pastry meal a week, 1 white rice meal a week (am able to tolerate but only have 1/8th portion), soups, fish once a week and my portion size is almost where it should be..How am I still screwing up? I don't eat unless am hungry, don't drink within 30mins either way, don't eat after 9pm and don't eat carbs..Where am I going wrong? One of the reasons for this journey was for us to have a better chance TTC..and in the last 14mths, I've mc'd three times now. My sisters are both pregnant withut trying - one has always had yo-yo weight issues but atm, she's 22wks and every time I see her - it feels like my heart is ripped out. Both myself and my OH have been keeping an eye on my meals, making sure I exercise for an hour a day - half hour bike in the morning and half hour cardio exercises in the afternoon and we go for a 3mile walk twice a week..but for what? Nothing is happening and feel like am banging my head against a brick wall with nothing to show for all my efforts. We can't go to GP for any help with TTC because my weight is still an issue, a now over 40 so don't qualify for IVF or anything like that :'( I'm ovulating still, periods are regular as clockwork but without kicking my weight to touch - it's never going to happen. I just feel so down and depressed right now and needed to rant but also to ask for some help from you wonderful lovely ladies..

Please.. any ideas or suggestions would be hugely appreciated..just knowing someone cares enough to try and help me.. I don't go back to SRH til March and am sat waiting for a call back..think am going to go blast myself off on my bike again for a bit and bury myself in my music.. be back in a bit.. Thanks for reading and for any replies

 

[Caren]

awww mands i really feel for you honey. Maybe you can do the 5 day pouch test, that might kick start you, going back to your pre op diet, if theres gluten in that then ask your team, there must be a pre op diet for gluten intolerant people. Also try doing a different exercise, this might help you too. Good luck honey, i wish you all the very best xxx

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

Hi Mands I really cannot help with your weight loss as not far enough out myself to offer advise, but, what does your GP say? Are you still under the care of your WLS team? Are you drinking enough? You shouldn't be struggling with this alone & one of the above should be aware of your issues. We are more than happy to listen & help where we can, but this maybe does need a consult with the professionals, honey. Good Luck, I really hope you sort the reason why your body thinks it should be hanging on to the extra weight xxx :wave_cry:

 

[Miss DeeDee]

Hi Mands,

I so feel for you - you must be just devastated at the moment, and I dont have any advice to offer other than - I got pregnant at your weight - i timed it from 1st day of period and added 14 days, then wham at it like rabbits, some times the hubby needs a rest so the lil fishys can get strong...... also my mum told me, stop trying and it will happen - all easier said than done, and i am sure you have probably tried everything already.

so all i can do for you is atback: was gonna put the hug one here but cant find it doh!!

 

[BlueDiamond]

Hello there,

Unless I have missed it when you wrote it , what size band do you have and what capacity are you filled too ??? are you due/need another fill ???? sorry if I missed it . Wishing u all the best - Julie xx

 

[Mazza]

Hi Mands

It sounds like you may have some hormone issues, have you been tested for or been diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome?

Heres a helpful link:

Julie (Bluediamond) and I are fellow sufferers xx

Polycystic ovary syndrome - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Sufferers tend to struggle with their weight amongst others things!

 

[flowerofshona]

Having lost 4 babies i know how you feel hun.
Try to relax and mix things up a bit, i was told exercise works best if you vary it as much as you can and rest atleast 2 days a week to allow the body to recover, try something different same with food, eating to little and the same things can make the system close down.
Keep going hun you will get there, there is no rush this is for life and the more relaxed you are the more chance of falling pregnant.
Wishing you all the best hun xxxxxxxxx

 

[Raynebubble]

Hun already said before, but mix and maching the excercise may help... can you add swimming in... maybe one morning or one afternoon. instead of using the bike, maybe once a week go for a long walk.. maybe yourbod needs to try something different to give it a boost xx good luck hun x

 

[lyndunkia]

I hope you are soon feeling better x

 

[wannabeanewme]

Well.. ty very much ladies for your encouragement..

Julie - If I remember correctly I have 5.5ml in a 9/10ml band and not due another fill and had to yell and shout for the last one - have had 3 since surgery was done. I have the 'fullness' feeling and know when to stop with any meal..so I don't believe it's that..I eat from my grandson's feeding bowl for my 30g cereal in the morning (which is quinoea, pure corn and something else combined as can't have wheat in any shape or form at the minute) and use a side plate for my meals (the size you use for a sandwich) and dont have more than 400g total meal weight..drink 3 coffee's a day, rest of the time is flavoured still water - usually lemon and lime or strawberry.I have 1 LF yoghurt drink with the 'friendly bacteria' after breakfast a day..

Mazza - thanks for the link.. I took a look and I'm not sure tbh. I have regular periods, start heavy then tail over 4 days, I suffer mittleschmerz (mid cycle pain) and have done for over 12 yrs, was diagnosed with impaired glucose tolerance prior to WLS but was told due to losing the weight - it was under control and no longer an issue. The last internal scan done for me was in 2002 and was told there was no reason then why I wasn't having any results as it were but I do have hair growth on my chin, neck, sides of my cheeks and upper lip and the inability to maintain a pregnancy past 7wks if am lucky enough to get pregnant..

Me and OH had briefly discussed option of going to speak to gp about TTC but both know my weight will still be a huge factor and everything just seems to be getting me down right now.. nothing seems to be going right for me and can't shift the 'failure feeling'. I rang dietician at SRH this morning to discuss problems am having with gluten and try to ask for advice but a return call is still waiting to happen. Am not sure whether my diet atm can be tweaked any more but if anyone has any further ideas please let me know. Am happy to write out in full what have had the last 2 - 3 days and see if anyone can see where am going wrong..Someone suggested maybe going back to basics and trying to do the 5DPT.Only problem with my doing the 5DPT - is broths/clear soups.. don't know if can have them as the only soup of any sort have found am able to eat - is cockaleekie and tomato and basil. The rest contain gluten to some degree which makes me ill.

Ho hum.. never rains but it pours and right now - wish someone would push me from under the Niagara falls cos that's where I feel am stood right now :'(

I wanna find the sunshine againnnnnnnnnn :sigh:

 

[Magsy]

HUGS and a lot of them xx

 

[Crackers169]

Hi there Mands. So sorry to hear how things are going for you at the moment. It took me a while to conceive my two boys, and in the meantime I read everything I could about TTC. I realise that your weight might be an issue for IVF etc, but i do not think it would stop them supporting you to sustain a pregnancy beyond 7 weeks. As you have had recurrent miscarriages then I think that you should be able to get help and support with that.

I am a newbie as far as WLS is concerned, so can't really be of any help with that.

I know that I was very stressed at work when we were trying to have our first and in the end I left work and got pregnant first time after that! The other thing that helped me was thinking of things we would do if we didn't have children. Top of the list was a hot tub! I do think mother nature works in mysterious ways and she doesn't seem to like it when people get obsessed with getting pregnant. However it is so hard to want a baby and not be obsessed! I really feel for you.

Go and see your GP and tell them how you feel. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Take care,
Crackers x

 

[MissyMustDoIt]

such a heartbreeaking place to be in...i have no other words than have already been said by more experienced members, i hope you can come out the other side into the sunshine hun xxx

 

[Raynebubble]

i so wish i could be there to give you a big hug xxx

 

[Sharonimo]

Am not sure whether my diet atm can be tweaked any more but if anyone has any further ideas please let me know.

Sometimes the body does fight everything we do to lose weight, even with the addition of a band .... especially as you are now more than 2 years post op. All of us (bariatric patients -- sleeve, bypass and badn) are told that we have an "optimum" window for weight loss, and it is only between 6 months and a year. After that, the body finds ways to adapt to the new lower calorie intake, and from that point on (if the patient has achieved the desired EWL during the first year) the patient will be fighting the body's own natural mechanisms that want to return to a higher weight.

Two interesting articles from Dr Sharma and Yoni Freedman turned up in my blog feeds today:

How The Hedonic System Ratchets Up Your Weight | Dr. Sharma's Obesity Notes

Weighty Matters: Gastric Bypasses Destroy Lap-bands in Head to Head Study!

This may not be what you (as a bander) want to hear right now ..... but my suggestion, although quite radical, would be for you to consider a band to bypass conversion -- have you thought about that?

The bypass would give you extra restriction and malabsorption .... and as your BMI is over 40 (according to your stats on the left hand side) you would most probably qualify.

I realise this might sound quite radical and drastic, and I expect you chose a band at the time as you preferred the less invasive surgery ..... but statistically the number of people who never reach goal or BMI under 35 with a band is high (much higher than with bypass or sleeve) and the numbers of ex banders converting to sleeves or bypass is growing.

Just a thought, and my own suggestion, and apologies if you think this is too drastic.

 

[shelbell]

Not many words of wisdom but massive hugs for your angels, I know the pain they bring.

Are you eating enough with all the exercise you're doing? Your body needs 900cals minimum plus any burnt in exercise to keep out of starvation mode. Plus you need plenty of fluids, are you drinking enough? Have you tried logging your intake and exercise on a site like myfitnesspal to see how you're actually getting on for calories, fat and protein?

Sending tonnes of positive vibes and baby glue xxx

Sent from my iPhone using Forum Runner

 

[Mazza]

Sometimes the body does fight everything we do to lose weight, even with the addition of a band .... especially as you are now more than 2 years post op. All of us (bariatric patients -- sleeve, bypass and badn) are told that we have an "optimum" window for weight loss, and it is only between 6 months and a year. After that, the body finds ways to adapt to the new lower calorie intake, and from that point on (if the patient has achieved the desired EWL during the first year) the patient will be fighting the body's own natural mechanisms that want to return to a higher weight.

Two interesting articles from Dr Sharma and Yoni Freedman turned up in my blog feeds today:

How The Hedonic System Ratchets Up Your Weight | Dr. Sharma's Obesity Notes

Weighty Matters: Gastric Bypasses Destroy Lap-bands in Head to Head Study!

This may not be what you (as a bander) want to hear right now ..... but my suggestion, although quite radical, would be for you to consider a band to bypass conversion -- have you thought about that?

The bypass would give you extra restriction and malabsorption .... and as your BMI is over 40 (according to your stats on the left hand side) you would most probably qualify.

I realise this might sound quite radical and drastic, and I expect you chose a band at the time as you preferred the less invasive surgery ..... but statistically the number of people who never reach goal or BMI under 35 with a band is high (much higher than with bypass or sleeve) and the numbers of ex banders converting to sleeves or bypass is growing.

Just a thought, and my own suggestion, and apologies if you think this is too drastic.

Wow Im guessing your not a fan of the band then!

The 6 month window DOES NOT apply to banders, it can take that long (or longer in some cases) to start to feel adequate restriction or learn how to work with their band.

Studies show that on average, people lose between 50–65% of their excess weight in the two years after placement of a gastric band. Not too dissimilar to the bypass plus steady progressive weight loss can carry on beyond the 2 years. The band can be adjusted as and when to carry on losing or to maintain a goal weight.

There are lots of statistics and reports BUT the facts are we have some very succesful banders on here who have also reached their goal weight, many more well on their way too.

It would be interesting to see some statistics re weight loss for band to bypass patients. The band is a restrictive procedure as is the sleeve, the bypass and DS, also restrictive have the added malabsorption element. I wonder how much that would help someone who had converted?

I have to aks how do you know Mands would have extra restriction with a bypass or are you assuming that malabsorption would achieve this? I have met a few converters at my providers support groups, not one of them has reached their goal weight.

The band does not work for everyone but the decision to undergo another operation is not one to be taken lightly, especialy if there are underlying reasons why it hasnt worked.

 

[JO28172]

Sometimes the body does fight everything we do to lose weight, even with the addition of a band .... especially as you are now more than 2 years post op. All of us (bariatric patients -- sleeve, bypass and badn) are told that we have an "optimum" window for weight loss, and it is only between 6 months and a year. After that, the body finds ways to adapt to the new lower calorie intake, and from that point on (if the patient has achieved the desired EWL during the first year) the patient will be fighting the body's own natural mechanisms that want to return to a higher weight.

Two interesting articles from Dr Sharma and Yoni Freedman turned up in my blog feeds today:

How The Hedonic System Ratchets Up Your Weight | Dr. Sharma's Obesity Notes

Weighty Matters: Gastric Bypasses Destroy Lap-bands in Head to Head Study!

This may not be what you (as a bander) want to hear right now ..... but my suggestion, although quite radical, would be for you to consider a band to bypass conversion -- have you thought about that?

The bypass would give you extra restriction and malabsorption .... and as your BMI is over 40 (according to your stats on the left hand side) you would most probably qualify.

I realise this might sound quite radical and drastic, and I expect you chose a band at the time as you preferred the less invasive surgery ..... but statistically the number of people who never reach goal or BMI under 35 with a band is high (much higher than with bypass or sleeve) and the numbers of ex banders converting to sleeves or bypass is growing.

Just a thought, and my own suggestion, and apologies if you think this is too drastic.

Band to bypass conversion (in my opinion) is not the answer...working hard at what you have is however. fact!

 

[Sharonimo]

Wow Im guessing your not a fan of the band then!

No, I'm not (altho obv I have not had one -- is that odd? how can I not like something I have not had?).

I know the choice of which op to originally go for is a personal one, and some people prefer a band because they don't like the idea of totally permanent surgery and part of their innards being removed ..... for me I am the opposite and have never liked the idea of an alien bit of plastic being added to my body -- but there we go, we are all different and make the choices for different reasons.

I have not come across any statistics for extra weight loss achieved after band - to - bypass conversion, I am simply aware that some banders do end up going down that road (at least 2 people on this forum I have read about since being a member of this forum, and quite a lot more on another forum I take part in).

I did not intend to be rude, and I did preface my comments to the OP with "apologies if you think this is too drastic" ..... but the OP is clearly struggling, informs us that she is eating a very low calorie and careful diet, and exercising etc, doing everything that she thinks she should be doing with the band ..... so what more adjustments could she make to her diet ???

 

[Mazza]

No, I'm not (altho obv I have not had one -- is that odd? how can I not like something I have not had?).

I know the choice of which op to originally go for is a personal one, and some people prefer a band because they don't like the idea of totally permanent surgery and part of their innards being removed ..... for me I am the opposite and have never liked the idea of an alien bit of plastic being added to my body -- but there we go, we are all different and make the choices for different reasons.

I have not come across any statistics for extra weight loss achieved after band - to - bypass conversion, I am simply aware that some banders do end up going down that road (at least 2 people on this forum I have read about since being a member of this forum, and quite a lot more on another forum I take part in).

I did not intend to be rude, and I did preface my comments to the OP with "apologies if you think this is too drastic" ..... but the OP is clearly struggling, informs us that she is eating a very low calorie and careful diet, and exercising etc, doing everything that she thinks she should be doing with the band ..... so what more adjustments could she make to her diet ???

I was a volume eater with not as much as some weight to lose, the band works well for volume eaters - not so much grazers / snackers. It was the right choice for me and nothing to do with it not being permenant.

Im sure Mands was talked through the options pre op and now post op only her dietician is qualified to comment or help with any eating suggestions.

All we can do is offer support, listen, or whatever is needed. Telling someone you think they had the wrong operation or should convert to another procedure could be seen as not so supportive - just my opinion though!

@Mands I hope you get to speak to your dietician soon and that you find that sunshine - dont be a stranger xx